Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Look, Mr. Purina has a new outfit!

September 24, 2010

Man, am I pumped!

SPAIN-FASHIONLet me back up a minute. Despite being a global style guru thanks to my blog, I really don’t worry too much about my personal wardrobe.

I blog from home, so I don’t have office dress codes, and I make most of my own clothing from big empty dog food bags. The dry kind, not so much the meaty wet stuff…

People say, “Bob, how long does an outfit like that last?” and I say, “Longer than you’d think, if you don’t insist on bathing every day.”

But now that my blog is getting more popular, my wife thinks I should dress accordingly. Today she dropped her surprise news on me.

She’s been watching the current crop of men’s fashion shows, and has bought some creations she says are perfect for me.

BRITAIN/I haven’t seen them yet, but my wife says one, from Madrid, is so versatile that I could go “straight from calling a square dance to yodeling in the Alps without changing clothes.”

Of course, I’d rather watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” while hanging by a meat hook through my tongue, but I appreciate her sentiment.

My wife says the really BIG surprise is the other outfit, from London Fashion Week.

I must admit there is much I like about traditional British style, what with herringbone jackets, tweeds, elbow patches, vests, the country squire look, and so on, so I can’t wait to see this one.

Finally, after all these years of homemade attire, I’ll be able to go out on the town without feeling self-conscious about folks calling me “Mr. Purina” or worrying that some mastiff might be following me.

Finally, I’ll feel like a regular guy.

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Left: A model wears a creation by designer Antonio Alvarado at Cibeles Madrid Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2011 show in Madrid, September 18, 2010. REUTERS/Juan Medina

Right: A model presents a creation from the Topman Design 2011 Spring/Summer collection at London Fashion Week, September 22, 2010. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett

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Comments

Plaid and pleather now go together? In a Liberace kind of way. Maybe he is going to play piano outdoors in the heat and wore shorts to keep his legs from sticking together.

The dog chow bags are looking better and better all the time.

I wonder how many meds they take to keep from laughing as they walk out wearing those creations?

We need donuts!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Tell me those are not skirts…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

When in London once, I went looking for a jacket with elbow patches. I was politely informed that they put on elbow patches after the elbows of the jacket are worn out and need patching.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

hahaha funniest outfits ever :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 

Oh my!
Aren’t those creations, umm, pretty.
Is the guy in the top photo wearing pantyhose? Please tell me he isn’t.
Just a tip for all you International Travellers – if you dress like this, and you are male, the immigration guys WILL be asking you a bunch of questions, so you better not have any snakes stashed in your luggage.

Hey – did I just coin a new euphemism?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

Maybe all the female models collapsed from being underweight… and they had to use male models to wear the clothes meant for the ladies…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Kibbles and bits and bits and bits!

If all that plaid in the previous blog were from a ’60 Impala then the material the model is wearing in the second pic is from a ’63 Malibu. It would seem the 60s were not really keen on automobile interior fashion. But then again wasn’t that the decade people were smoking a lot of….funny….cigs?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

Pumped? You mean “Chuffed”, don’t you?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive
 

Remind me to never be seen in public with you, Bob…..

Posted by justK | Report as abusive
 

When would that ever happen, anyway, justK?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Looks like outfits from the ‘getting dressed in the dark’ collection.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

I recognize the first pic from Purina’s “Snausages” Fall clothing line. The undergarments from that clothing line are made solely from “Beggin’ Strips”. Ironic or apropos?

Posted by drgnbait | Report as abusive
 

@Spin, then that’s a big waste of money then eh?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

Looks like it’ll be next Saturday…I’ll be the plump lady wearing the plump-er 17 month old…or should I just go with a red scarf?

Posted by justK | Report as abusive
 

Oh, good move. So now if I approach you it means I’m agreeing you’re plump. Plus, what if there are a LOT of plump women and babies at Plump Land or wherever we’re supposed to meet?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Just walk up to any woman that could fit my description and say “The crow flies south at midnight.” To which I’ll respond “Ya’ll have crows here?”….

Posted by justK | Report as abusive
 

I’m sure my Mum used to have a tablecloth like that shirt on the right.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

That’s confusing, justK, because as you can see, we also have a commenter named CrowGirl. What if she’s standing nearby when I meet you?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Coming from Spain, where Matadors wear fashion that was previously highlighted in this very blog, it doesn’t surprise me…

Posted by I_dont_know_1 | Report as abusive
 

If CrowGirl is standing by me when you meet me…I will have no other choice but to assume it’s some sort of ambush and run for the safety of the nearest fortified structure.

Ok…How about this? You just walk around with a t-shirt that says “BOB” and I’ll find you, ok?

Posted by justK | Report as abusive
 

And here I thought, Mr.B considered meeting OE Bloggers “catastrophic”….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

I haven’t changed my mind, Shra.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

I can hear the dialogue:

Security: “The ladies are not interested in hearing about your ‘crow,’ pal.”

“But, it was code. I’m trying to meet someone.”

Security: “Unh, hunh. Yea, we know all about it, bud. We see your type at every convention. You just keep your ‘crow’ in its cage, pally. There’ll be no crowing tonight. No cock-a-doodle-do. No fun, pal. Got it!”

“Really. I’m here to meet a woman an–”

Security: “Okay, That’s it, pally. I’m Mister Scarecrow, and this corn field is off limits. Out the door.

“[being hustled to the exit] THE CROW FLIES SOUTH AT MIDNIGHT! THE CROW–”

Security: “AND DON’T COME BACK!”

Woman: “Who was that?!!”

Man: “No idea. Some people. I’m glad they gave him the business. I’m Doc, by the way. Are you here for business or pleasure?”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

@Dr Doll: Great to see you back!

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive
 

It’s great to be back. I just flew in from an ornithology conference.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Just flew in from an ornithology conference?
No Doc, you’re not setting us up for 1,000 words of Borscht Belt shtick. I’ve alerted Mr. Spam Filter, and I’m leaving the building now….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Why, whatever do you mean, B Should I not say “And boy is my snavel tired!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

So, here I am at the ornithology conference thinking about birds when I come upon a table with four birds on it, and they’re covered with brown paper bags, showing only their feet. And a sign says “Can you identify for the professor each species by its feet?” And I says “No!” and “That’s a ridiculous question!” And the man at the table says “Who are you?” And I take off my shoes and say “You tell me, professor!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

So, I’m in the lounge at the hotel in Las Vegas at this ornithology conference, and my little voice says “Bet a thousand on roulette; bet red.” I says to my little voice “No, I don’t gamble.” My little voice says “Oh, come on, I’ve got a vibe, and this is Bob’s credit card.” (By the way, Bob, you’re over your limit.) So I says, “Okay,” and bet $1,000 on red. It ocmes up black, and my little voice says “Hunh, how ’bout that!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

You got Mr.B’s credit card? That means you were in direct contact (or indirect, at the least) with Mr.B… that means, Mr.B musta seen you… which kinda leads me to the point that Mr.B is meeting up with OE bloggers… first the secret rendevous with JustK (and CG..) and now Doc…

Come on Mr.B.. you have to stop saying that a meeting between OE bloggers is catastrophic…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Well, Shra, if you look in the right dictionary, you’ll find a picture of me and Bob shaking hands. It’s a picture to illustrate the word “catastrophe.” We didn’t really meet. The picture is a computer-generated fusion of Bob meeting the Pope and me fist-bumping with the Dalai Lama.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Nope… you cant fool me Doc… I eat special Medidonuts to make my brain cells more active…
I KNOW you met Mr.B… only you two are being secretive about it…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Shra, so are you saying Bob never shook hands with the Pope and I never said “Hello Dalai!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Why, yes, Spin!

And he was still growin’, still crowin’, and still goin’ strong!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

You may have def said Hello Dalai, Doc… everyone says Hello Dalai… there will be people saying Hello Dalai after reading this comment…

And I am pretty sure BG didnt meet the Pope… you think he would not have written a blog after THAT incident?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

“The Pope” and “The Dalai Lama” may well have been professional wrestlers, along with “The Sheik,” “The Great Dr. Jerry Graham, Jr. (the only professional wrestler with 4 doctoral degress!)” “Bobo Brazil,” “The Great Wojo,” “Flying Fred Curry,” “Haystack Calhoun,” etc.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

So, maybe Bob didn’t really meet THE pope, the leader of the Catholic Church. Can’t you just imagine how it might have occured? I picture Bob shaking hands with THE pope, and people in the audinece whispering “Who’s that shaking hands with the Blog Guy?”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Thanks, but the pope doesn’t like to shake hands. We just did a high-five.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

So, Bob, did you and the pope, like, chat in Latin and stuff?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Bob, did the pope said goodbye with “Vale, lacerte!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Latin? Crap. My mistake. I spoke to him in Pig Latin.

Ouryay olinesshay, ymay amenay isway ogblay uygay

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

HA HA HA!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

I must be off. (But you all knew that.)

Secundum dum crocodilus!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Spin, when you’re raised Missouri Synod Lutheran the way I was, by parents like I had, you either turn out pious or impertinent. My roomy, D.B. Cooper, is pious, and that’s enough piety and parachutes hereabouts. ;)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Doc, I believe Spin was raise Wisconsin Evangelical Synod, so she might not understand.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

So… you’re saying Spin doesn’t know who D.B. Cooper is?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Of course not, Doc. Every American reader knows the grandson of James Fenimore Cooper….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Oi you two! Enough talking stuff that over the ponders like me cant understand!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Isn’t D.B. Cooper the dude who played the rough and tough hockey player-turned-figure skater in “The Cutting Edge”?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

Should I tell you all the name of the famous hijacker the media now calls “D.B. Cooper”? Hmmmmm? Based upon my own sources?

The name “D.B. Cooper” goes by is……

Dan Cooper.

Absolutely true!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

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