We’re off to see the lizard…

September 27, 2010

Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I can get an AMAZING deal on a week at a five-star luxury beach hotel in a Russian city on the Black Sea. What do you think? Is there a catch?


Yes, that would be Snake by the Lake Lodge, and I’m familiar with the scam. They lure tourists there and then feed them to the reptiles that roam the grounds.

It says here in the brochure, every room has a “picture postcard view of the shimmering Black Sea….

The monster snakes and lizards need a steady food supply, so the Lodge uses unsuspecting tourists like the ones in these photos.

reptile beach vertical 260But the hotel itself is very nice, right? I mean, five stars and all…. The brochure says you get a “sumptuous breakfast buffet” every morning.

You don’t seem to understand what I’m telling you. While you’re soaking up the sun, you can hear the screams of vacationers slowly being eaten alive.

Hey, it says you get a free t-shirt, and a complimentary glass of champagne when you arrive!

How it works is, three or four days into your vacation is when they bring a snake or killer lizard to your spot on the beach, and that’s it for you….

Man, $299.99 per person, everything included, for a week! You can’t beat that for great value, Blog Guy!

You know, you’re right. I bet you’ll have a fabulous time. And heck, with the money you save, you can go back next year!

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Top: A photographer puts a python on a sunbather for a snapshot on a beach outside Russia’sĀ  Black Sea city of Sochi September 23, 2010. Being photographed with exotic animals such as snakes, parrots, monkeys and alligators is popular among vacationers at the Black Sea coast of Russia.

Right: A photographer offers a reptile to a sunbather for a snapshot on the beach.

REUTERS photos by Ilya Naymushin

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While I am sure I would remember if a vendor wandered up to me with a huge python, I don’t think it would be that Kodak moment I dreamed of. More on the order of a Wes Craven calendar photo. And I really don’t want to dream of that!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Lol!!!! Dont ask why… I saw something that is tempting me to say something… but its only coz of Mr.Spam Basket and the fact that this is a family blog that I am not spitting it out loud.. šŸ˜›

In the meantime… I am gonna laugh…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

The poor parrot. It doesn’t have the heart or stomach to watch the carnage about to ensue. Advert your eyes dear parrot and weep for the innocence lost! Polly wants no cracker today. No sir it does not.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

That snake has got a food supply that can last for more than a month. The other guy with the parrot already has taken her belongings. I bet he must have said “Hey, let me take care of your stuff while the snake eats , ummm, I mean while you hold the snake”

Posted by Insane | Report as abusive

Maybe the cobra and the boa work as a team — one squeezes and the other inject the venom. Given that tourist’s body mass, it looks like they will indeed need both methods to finish the job.

Posted by I_dont_know_1 | Report as abusive

Y is there a Polynesian man w/a boa contrictor on a Russian beach anyway? I must say I was thoroughly confused by the costuming in the top photo. I don’t get out much though…

Posted by MamaC326 | Report as abusive

I’m with Shra on this one.
I can think of nothing that in the high standards of decency and good taste we have come to expect in this blog, that I could say, other than for some reason I keep thinking of the Amsterdam red light district, and ping-pong balls.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Huge snakes these ladies grabbed.. šŸ˜‰

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Lady number one is NOT unsuspecting. But what’s with wearing all that jewellry on the beach?

Reptile number two is a cutie. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive