If the shoe fits, hang it…

October 2, 2010

Blog Guy, I’m a woman in need of advice. I spend 82 percent of my income on new shoes, so naturally the old ones pile up quickly. I hate to just throw out all my pumps. How can I put them to good use?

art shoes 490

Many women put their old shoes in picture frames and hang them on the wall. It’s very colorful. This one is in an actual art museum.

Interesting. So is that a collage or a montage?

If it’s made with your pumps, technically it would be a pumpage.

I don’t think that’s a word, Blog Guy.

FRANCE/Of course it is. You can take anything and add the suffix “age” and make up a new kind of art.

So if I were to frame my collection of shot glasses, cocktail shakers and other barware, it would be a…

Barrage. Think about it.

What about framing my collection of church programs from celebration of the Holy Eucharist?

That’s a Massage. Are you seeing a pattern here?

And my collection of space junk from Mir, the old Soviet space station?

A Mirage.

Let me ask you this. There are several deadbeat guys in my life. Ex-husband, worthless boyfriend, spoiled son… What if I framed THEM?

That would be a ménage, but you might want to be careful about using that word.

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A woman looks at the work of art “Madison Avenue, 1962″ by artist Arman (1928-2005) at the Centre Pompidou modern art museum, also known as Beaubourg, in Paris September 21, 2010. REUTERS/Charles Platiau

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52 comments

We welcome comments that advance the story through relevant opinion, anecdotes, links and data. If you see a comment that you believe is irrelevant or inappropriate, you can flag it to our editors by using the report abuse links. Views expressed in the comments do not represent those of Reuters. For more information on our comment policy, see http://blogs.reuters.com/fulldisclosure/2010/09/27/toward-a-more-thoughtful-conversation-on-stories/

Shoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee zzzzz!!!

I have to say, thou ist the mightiest of them all, for thou satisfy the utmost wishes of thy subjects! Thou, like CG, are a godsend!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Bwa-hah! So a collection of medals and certificates is a meritage? And a collection of French two-seater cars a decoupage? I think I get it… Which is scary, but what about my collection of goats?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Exactly, Dave! You do get it!

Like a collection of branches from the forest would be a triage.

And your collection of goats would be, uh, a felony.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

A collection of goats would be “gorage”?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Dave: If the goats have black hair or are painting their hooves black, perhaps they could be gothage…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Doughnutage?

Nice one, Dave!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

[...] here: If the shoe fits, hang it… | Analysis & Opinion | « Oh, so that's how it's done… – Pension Plan [...]

I somehow think mine would be a little less pretty. Combat boots, flip flops, and sneakers do not a collage make…

(Oh yeah…commenting from another state….I rock EVEN MORE THAN USUAL!!)

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

BASLERAGE.

Posted by Ismailtaimur | Report as abusive

I occurs to me that each time I wander by, we are in the midst of, as Shra put it so eloquently: Shoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee zzzzz!!!

And, although I’d love to share more, my carriage seems to have been severely unnerved by the contemplation of Dave’s fondness for fuzzy damage.

Posted by DesertJules | Report as abusive

Very nicely done DesertJules! At least you didn’t call my collection of needlepoint sewage.

Hey BG, it’s Afghanistan – no felony here. I’ve got a video I need to send you.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

I love all these.

Also this from a friend who responded on Facebook: “You can have my collection of old recluses to make a hermitage.”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Ah yes –

“fixed” male cows – steerage
lost pounds – wastage
fence posts – postage
Mexican meat – carnage
French ink pens – plumage
photos of body shots – frontage

I really need to get back to work – anybody got donuts?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

If it were photos of Angelina Jolie’s kids it would be an orphanage.

The first Thanksgiving: A Pilgrimage.

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

Alas, I have done far too much shovelling today to be capable of funny. But I point out without worry of zapping that there’s a glass/plastic front on that artwork, and thus it’s technically a vitrine.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Carnage, cribbage…. This stuff is great. Amazing that more people don’t have more to do on a Saturday.

Crow, as usual your command of vocabil… vcalb… vocambil… little things that form sentences is awesome.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I know these things, I once paid for an art gallery to be built. Not with my own money, obviously.

Also, Dave, full marks mate. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

LMAOage! :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

My collection of hot dog condiments would be a sausage, and the collection of angry folks on the highway is roadrage

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

My collection of bags is baggage….
The collection of cabs in front of Waverly station is cabbage…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

That looks like garbage to me. Hey, that even works both ways. Garb, garbage. Neat.

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive

Brilliant, T54!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Some news stories about fashion – coverage
Small group of psychologists – shrinkage
The sum total of these blog entries – punnage
Collection of Basler BT-series aircraft – wreckage

Someone else already using your best pun – dammitage

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Beaver homes – damage
The forests of the world – roughage
Reading the OE blog without an amble supply of medidonuts – courage.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Bondage. I love it.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

A seamstress’ work day – hemorrhage.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Right. A collection of young people aged 13-19 would be a teenage…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Potage: http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/06/03/bring-me-that-one-the-saucy-wen ch/

Or, perhaps, the soup of the best meal you ever wore.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

The problem with all of this (aside from trying not to laugh loudly at work) is that each one of these must be visualised inside a frame, or indeed vitrine. I think seeing a bunch of angsty teens squashed together behind glass may have upped my quiet giggle to a roaring guffaw. Heh, guffaw.

Posted by Wyvie | Report as abusive

A buffet of Chilli Corn Carne would be carnage?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Collection of disgruntled employees – stoppage

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Female attire for a walk around the block: blockage.

But: Female wearing saucy clothing around the block: Sausage.

Compare: Saucy female wearing nothing for a walk around the block: Barrage.

Note: (The American Heritage Dictionary has one definition of “barrage” as “[a] rapid, concentrated missile discharge.”)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Female attire for a walk around the block: blockage.

But: Female wearing saucy clothing around the block: Sausage.

Compare: Saucy female wearing nothing for a walk around the block: Barrage.

Note: (The American Heritage Dictionary has one definition of “barrage” as “[a] rapid, concentrated missile discharge.”)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I have too much work to do to play further, but anyone want to define “cleavage.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Sure, Doc. That would be your collection of old “Leave it to Beaver” tapes….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Dave’s goat collection disguised as something else: camel-flage

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

To answer Doc’s question, the collection of cleavers the buxom Octoberfest barmaid keeps handy is cleavage…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Ooooooooo!
Nice double-meaning there Shra.
I think that’s game, set & match to you.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Yeah! Watcha win, watcha win??!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

People with wattles, that’s wattage?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I note that today we have a picture of ‘smiley’ Basler on the blog, as opposed to the usual ‘smirky’ Basler.

Collection of bad guys living in the same area: village

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

And Spin is on a rolllll!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You know James.. if only you had not added your hyperlink, I would have spared you the zapper….
and BG, this is not funny..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I see we are blessed with ‘smiley Basler’ again today, and that this blog entry is now in the top five for comments.
James’s adage along with complete lack of punnage will likely net him some damage when he recieves a deserved taseage.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Nope, there is no outtage here…
Infact, the wattage will increase, coz this baggage is off on a 2 week breakage… :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I believe tasering is foretold in Nostradamus’s Quatrains. Soem of his prophesies are interpreted as signage of things to come. To wit:

After that James will not put out the puns,
A fugitive from Shra he will be tased:
To murmur punless then more tasing comes,
The chief will then abandon the smirk.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Oh, Unca! I may once have been a writer, technical. But then may have come the came the fateful day (Alas! and Woe!) when I was asked to write the instructions to be placed upon a certain brand of fire extinguisher, and I (may have) decided the instructions should be written in the form of a poem, specifically in the form of a sestina.

In the corridors of power, my art was not appreciated. Imagine that! Perhaps I should have written them in the form of a sonnet!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Sestina, Doc? You mean like the airplane, right?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Of course, but only the fuselage

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

What did Captain Ahab have? Stumpage.

And The Mayflower? Pilgrimage.

A party with lots of guests? Personage.

Downtown street corners? Hermitage.

Ships with more than one? Anchorage.

Two-faced people? Frontage.

Overweight creatures? Poundage.

Americans with lots of bits? Quarterage.

This blog? Uncage.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Spin, “uncage” is a good thing! This blog needs more uncage, and more blogs need uncage, but, unfortunately, there is only so much unc to go around! The same can be said for “spinage” (legit. variant of spinach).

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I think I just expanded my vocabulary. “Spinage” has other legit definitions, too. Uh-oh….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Okay, Spin, maybe “spinage” means spinning one’s car tires upon the request of the drunk passenger riding shotgun, as in “Get some spinage, dude!”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive