Stop staring at my assets!
Blog Guy, I’m a young woman with an unusual problem. I’m just too beautiful.
Excuse me? How is that a problem? You can probably make money from that.
I grow tired of fending off suitors and discouraging courtship. What can I do to turn guys off?
It sounds like you’re off to a good start, using words like “suitors” and “courtship.”
Thank you, but I was hoping you might suggest designs that would show nothing, rendering me totally resistible.
I get it. No hooters for your suitors, right? Check out this creation shown above. I call it the “Sleeping Beauty,” since the model is hidden by briers and thorns.
Hmmmm. It is nice, but so many swains and wooers these days carry pruning shears with them…
Swains and wooers, huh? So how long have you lived in a Jane Austen novel? Anyway, look at this outfit on the left, from Paris Fashion Week.
Yes! With that, a young maiden can send the perfect message. How long would you say I can guard my virtue in that creation?
Honey, in that outfit you’ve got all the time in the world.
Top: A model displays a creation by Brazilian designer Walter Rodrigues during the Ixelmoda fashion show in Cartagena September 27, 2010. REUTERS/Jairo Castilla
Left: A model presents a creation by designer Nana Aganovich as part of her Spring/Summer 2011 women’s ready-to-wear fashion collection for fashion house Aganovich during Paris Fashion Week, September 28, 2010. REUTERS/Pascal Rossignol