Faster than a speeding locomotive…

October 9, 2010

Hey Blog Guy, you used to set up test races and stuff like that for your readers, so they could bet on what would beat what. Do you still do that?

Indeed. It’s one of the many fine services that make this the blog you can’t live without.

eurostar combo 490

Well, I was wondering about that high-speed train, the Eurostar. I’d like to find out if it’s faster than a bicycle.

We’re on it. AsĀ  you can see in the very top photo, a bicycle can actually PASS the Eurostar.

Amazing, thanks! Next, what about small children on scooters?

SIEMENS-EUROSTAR/I’ll be darned, our photo shows the scooters are gaining on the Eurostar.

Okay, what about some of those British Beefeater guards, like the ones on the gin bottle? Those guys who never flinch. What if they just stood next to the Eurostar?

Surprisingly, in our test even those guys eventually passed the train.

Excuse me, Blog Guy. In your other photo on the right, I can’t help noticing the Eurostar is sitting still, on a platform. It isn’t going anywhere. It’s not high-speed, it’s no-speed.

Oh, I’m guessing you didn’t read the 36-page PDF on our methodology. Yeah, my assistant Lamar saved a few bucks by using that one. You’d be amazed how much they wanted for one that was moving. Is this a problem?

No, as you say, it’s the blog we “can’t live without.” I just didn’t catch the sarcasm before.

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A cyclist passes a new Eurostar train which was displayed for a publicity event in Hyde Park, central London, October 7, 2010.

Two children ride their scooters past a Eurostar train.

Four members of the Scot’s Guards pose next to a Eurostar train.

REUTERS photos by Andrew Winning

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If you happened to be on your bicycle on the tracks when the train decided to run, there would be a lot of incentive to pedal faster. And if the train should happen to nudge your bicycle, it is possible the air time would be faster than the train. Just not for very long… Happy landing!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I only wish there was an Ameristar super-duper sonic train! Toot-toot!

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

Beefeater on the left hasn’t been eating enough beef. That’s a badly fitting uniform.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Viewed from overheard of the North Pole the Earth rotates counter-clockwise at 768ft/sec. Or in metric it would be 32cm/Dbs/L/hectars….or something, I dunno. If the Eurostar is fixed permanetly to the Earth then it would be rotating at the same speed as the Earth. Therefore by association the Eurostar is travelling at 768ft/sec. I mean duuuuh people it’s simple physics!

What? No Miss Johnson don’t make me go to the time out room again!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Ifly, wouldn’t the speed depend upon latitude, with the highest speed at the equator and the slowest speed at the North Pole in the Northern Hemisphere? Or was that fat, dumpy old man who always wears the same clothes and doesn’t shave and who likes to sneak into houses and give children presents for “being good” pulling my leg?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@Doc, sorry I am not allowed to pretend to know anything right now. Until Shra gets back from holiday to tase me for my tomfoolerly Miss Johnson has me writing lines.

“I will not pretend to know anything or make stuff up just to appear smart. I will also not mock the metric system which is a perfectly legitimate system of measurment. Kilometers, centimeters, millimeters, oh my!”

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Does it have a waggly tail on the back? From the front it looks like a cute little puppy dog.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Doc, are you saying SANTA told you about planetary science?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Yes, Crowy. I’ve had a very limited education.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I don’t know, Unca, about the steward position, that is. My 5th grade teacher told me that, someday, I would make an excellent custodian. (True.) I’m still shooting for that.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Mr. Pilot…you have been zappped!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive