Come home and meet the family, Arnold!
Okay, screenwriters, this movie footage is solid gold! Imagine, Arnold Schwarzenegger in a car with actual Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. It’s priceless!
Your job is to spin this little video clip into our next summer blockbuster sequel, “T5: The Terminator Kicks Russian Butt!”
Remember, Schwarzenegger didn’t know we were shooting, so our sound editors have kept Medvedev’s lines but then dubbed in Arnold’s replies from earlier film roles, to pump up the action.
Medvedev: I want you to have a great time while you’re here, Arnold. What would we like to do?
Medvedev: Ah. Okay, we’ll try to plan some of that for you. Meanwhile, I want to take you by the house and show you our brand-new baby…
Schwarzenegger: Hasta la vista, baby!
Medvedev: Oh. Well, um, she may be napping now. But I’ll show you our Golden Retriever puppy…
Schwarzenegger: If it bleeds, we can kill it!
Medvedev: So that’s a “no” on the puppy? Is there anything you need, Arnie?
Schwarzenegger: I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle…
Medvedev: Jeez, Arnie, that’s kind of….
Schwarzenegger: Your clothes… give them to me…
Medvedev: Hey Arnie, I know, let’s pretend to be great composers! I’ll be Mozart!
Schwarzenegger: I’ll be Bach!
Russia’s President Dmitry Medvedev gives California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger a ride in a vintage Soviet-era Chaika automobile at the presidential residence Gorki outside Moscow, October 11, 2010. REUTERS/Ria Novosti/Kremlin/Mikhail Klimentyev
Bottom right: Publicity photo from “Red Dawn”