Do you have a flare for stupidity?

October 14, 2010


Blog Guy, me and others like me are being discriminated against. We’re dumbasses, and we don’t think there are enough ways for us to express ourselves these days.

I have to disagree there, ace. From where I sit, opportunities for dumbasses have never been greater.

SERBIA-GAYS/Really? Like name some!

Well, look at this top photo, from a soccer match that had to be abandoned two days ago after “supporters” of one team threw flares at fans from the other team.

That’s great! What’s the world coming to if a dumbass can’t throw burning flares at people?

I knew you’d like it. Maybe you should join “Masked and Tattooed Flare-Throwing Soccer Fans.” I think they have a Website.

dumbass soccer 280But that’s just one example, Blog Guy. I’m not gonna jump on the first dumbass bandwagon that comes along.

There’s much more. Have you seen photos of the dumbasses in Belgrade over the weekend who attacked a gay rights parade? They rioted, injured 110 police, looted, attacked buildings…

Now THAT sounds interesting! Who do I call?

Uh, let’s see, their letterhead says, “Halfwit Looters Against Gay Rights.” Oh, and it says here, “We welcome dumbasses!”

USA/I appreciate the help, Blog Guy, but it turns out Belgrade is in some other country, and I’m too stupid to get a passport. Is there anything a dumbass can do locally?

That depends. How would you feel about protesting at funerals while loved ones are saying good-bye to brave U.S. soldiers who died in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Is it difficult work? Remember, I AM a dumbass.

No, you just carry a sign saying, “THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS.”

Woo-hoo! I’m there!

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Top: A supporter of Serbia’s soccer team holds a lit flare before the team’s Euro 2012 qualifying soccer match against Italy in Genoa, October 12, 2010. The match was abandoned on Tuesday after away fans threw flares onto the pitch and at Italian fans. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

Right: Anti-gay protesters throw stones towards riot policemen during clashes in Belgrade, October 10, 2010. REUTERS/Marko Djurica

Right: An Italian supporter is hit by a burning flare thrown by Serbia’s supporters before the soccer match in Genoa, October 12, 2010. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

Left: Protesters in Snyder V. Phelps case outside the U.S. Supreme Court in Washington, DC, October 6, 2010. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

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Grrrrrrr, Phelps and his ilk really get my goat. And all of you know how I am about my goat.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Dave I second your “Grrrrr” but I will keep my mouth shut otherwise regarding Phelps else I say some not so blog friendly stuff. If I had a goat that whole situation would get it too.

As far as the first picture goes I think that guy is a member of the Anti-Stealth Ninja Clan. “Hey lookit me, Imma ninja! Yup, ninja over here! Who has two thumbs and is a ninja? This guy right here! I am a niiiiiiiiiiinja!”

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I am shocked, embarrassed and disgusted to see that some “Christians” find such a “cause” more important than being decent, compassionate human beings.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Every G-8 meeting offers lots of opportunities for dumbasses.

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive

I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but she was arrested for taking her taser to a bowling alley. Well, actually for using it. Multiple times.

The Oddly Enough lawyers are working to free her, and we are hopeful.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Not sure why references to the Tea Party were left out?

Posted by gurari | Report as abusive

I think I read about this. I’ve heard that the UK Bowling Association is upset because she didn’t record her stikes and spares. And, if I remember correctly, there was an issue about shoes….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Considering the complete lack of common sense out there in society, nothing surprises me anymore. More than likely, 5 out of 10 people are clueless and have no regard for others.

Posted by somethingtosay | Report as abusive

Can we volunteer these people to work with as rhino-maintenance specialists? OR, they could give the bulls a break in the arena, and make it, “Dumbass Fighting.” While the hickory-smoked delicious end of the fight may not be quite the same, I’m thinking we could all be satisfied in other, less gastronomical ways.

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

@Doc, issues with shoes, hence the use of the taser. One can not deny Shra is quite passionate on the subject of shoes. The crack legal team of Lamar, Lonnie, and Eugene “I’ll win one one day” Johnson will no doubt get her back on the blog soon enough!

It could be said that Mr. Ninja in the first photo has a flare for the dramatic! Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Who can ever forget Lamar’s quick wit in Jarndyce v. Jarndyce:

“Uh, did I go to law school? Uh, um, I’ll have to get back to you on that, your Honor.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Hey, Unca, you tell ’em, brother. I could say something like judge not, etc., but I’m with you on this one.

Posted by T54 | Report as abusive

Lest anyone actually confuse Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church with anything even vaguely resembling Cristianity, it would be good to remember that the “Church” is almost entirely made up of his family. Thank the Lord that Long Island had the good sense to pass a local ordinance banning them from being anywhere near a funeral in Suffolk County.

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

There’s a lot of people out there who make me ashamed to be part of the human race.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Perhaps we should line up those soccer fan toss a few flares at Phelps and his pathetic, nasty mob …

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

Just wait until flair for stupid mates with flair for bad judgement. I wonder what the next generation will do for kicks.

Posted by MartyOBX | Report as abusive

You forgot to show pictures of the male dumb asses marching in gay parades in skin tight white leggings, wearing pink tutu’s and pretending they are fairies, and the one’s dressed in slitted black leather pants’, with half their ugly butts hanging out, gripping their whips and screaming out to the crowd “spank me, spank me”.

Oh, and the male dumb asses with the 5 o’clock beard shadows that pretend they have attractive breasts. You’re right, the world is full of dumb asses.

Posted by garrisongold | Report as abusive

Nice editing job you do on the comments. Wouldn’t happen to have a hidden agenda that included misleading dumb asses now would you?

Posted by garrisongold | Report as abusive

I accept that people are entitled to have an opinion, but with that right comes a responsibility not to express it in a way that makes them a total {insert word of choice that might pass Mr Spam Filter}. A funeral is not the place for a demonstration, under any circumstances.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@inebgreen, really? I had not heard that, must have missed it in Newsday. Score one for Long Island and Suffolk county on the fight against dumbasses! :)

@garrisongold, you seem to know an awful lot about the activities occuring during gay pride parades, right down to what they yell to the crowd. Hmmmmm…..

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Um, Garrison, you are aware that you said that outloud?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@Garrison, You appear to be new around here, and I’m’a let you finish, but this is a family oriented blog. Don’t make us introduce you to Shra and her taser…

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Garrison, as a recent fortune cookie said to me – it IS that bad, and they ARE out to get you…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

It’s progress of a sort. A few years back the Serbs would have thrown grenades, now their leaders have to suck up to the EU.

As to funeral protesters; every war produces a few brain damaged vets, and modifying an AK-47 to go auto is actually a fairly simple process. Kill them all, God will know his own.

Posted by ARJTurgot | Report as abusive

This blog got pretty serious eh… now all you teachers and learners and preachers… line up for your shot!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Robert, you definitely have a point, however I feel the placard is misunderstood, I think the person is trying to tell that, ‘thanks to all those soldiers, we have a safe nation today’ or he might be criticizing those people who fought, that the world is a better place without those people, never know how to interpret that placard myself, I feel that person is just not a regular stupid person, he has a point, which is more like a poem, one finds his or her own meaning.

Posted by pereiraarvindin | Report as abusive