Nothing could be finer than be waiting for a rhiner….

October 14, 2010

Blog Guy, you’re famous for your career advice, especially about jobs that should be avoided. I’m going through brochures now looking for something suitable, and wondered if there is anything new I should be wary of.


Yeah. No matter what the brochures say, avoid being a “Great Big Rhinoceros Catcher.”

Wait, I do see a pamphlet on that job here. It doesn’t sound that bad. I mean, it says you just have to be there when they open the crate to take out tranquilized rhinos. How bad can that be?

rhino crop 300Let’s say the rhino isn’t quite as sedated as they thought, and YOU are this guy in the photo, right in front of the door. Or even if he IS still tranquilized, let’s say he rolls out the door and down the hill. Are you following what I’m saying?

Oh. But maybe there are some other, better jobs in the general field of rhino-maintenance.

Did you read the actual photo caption below? Which jobs, exactly? The dude who implants radio transmitters into the rhinos’ horns, or the one who notches their ears?

Ah, I do take your meaning. But do these magnificent animals have a history of harming humans?

Jeez, get a dictionary, will you, slick? Where do you think the word “rhinoplasty” comes from?

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Kenya Wildlife Service wardens load a tranquilized black male rhinoceros into a cage for translocation at the Lake Nakuru National park in Kenya’s Rift Valley, 100 miles west of the capital Nairobi, October 12, 2010. After implanting radio transmitters into the horns to track the animals, and notching their ears, KWS is translocating 10 black rhinos to the Tsavo National Park, southeast of Nairobi, to re-establish the population. REUTERS/Thomas Mukoya

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Don’t be whiner – go to Basler’s Finer Rhiner Diner.
It’s in China.
Fly there on a Basler BT-69 airliner, where all seats are recliner, and the wings are held on with twine-er.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Nice, Nosmo. Eat free if you’re a Chilean miner…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I believe Spin’s comment is a reference to “Rhinoceros” by Eugene Ionesco. Thanks for raising the tone of the blog, Spin.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Ok, I just reread the post to make sure you know how to spell “rhinoceros.” I was going to make fun of you if all you had written was “rhino.” I’m feeling a little bit mean-spirited today…

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

How does one implant a radio transmitter into the horn of a rhino? I don’t see it being done without something manufactured by DeWalt.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

A rhino wino is rhinoplastered.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

The guy operating the remote control for the Hiab is probably fine. He could hide in the lorry cab.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I look at the pic and think of the opening sequence to “Jurassic Park” where the dude gets nommed by the velociraptor. I don’t think a rhino rolling out of a cage squishing that guy would be as cool. Funny yes but definitely not as cool.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Then one rhino says to the other, “Does this transmitter make my horn look bigger?”

I like the way their camo outfits blend in. I wonder what designer did those outfits … Hilfiger?

My bad … I thought this was another fashion post.

… must be the doughnuts.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

[…] Nothing could be finer than be waiting for a rhiner….  » http://blogs.reuters. com […]

Posted by Nothing could be finer than be waiting for a rhiner…. | Placedelamode | Report as abusive

Nose surgery: squelchy, crunchy, horrible.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive