Ax murderer? I’ll just tick Self-Employed!

October 21, 2010


I’m sorry, I just can’t stop laughing at this one. We have this series of photos showing census-takers conducting a general census of the population of a male prison camp in Siberia.

Excuse me? Shouldn’t the authorities already KNOW how many people they have in a prison, and who they are and everything?

* * * * * * * *

RUSSIA/Thanks for taking time to talk to us, Mr. Johnson. So, where do you live?

Live here in Krasnoyarsk.

Isn’t that interesting! The last 4,296 men I’ve interviewed have all lived in Krasnoyarsk! What are the chances? What’s your profession, Mr. Johnson?

Ax murderer.

That sounds fascinating, Mr. Johnson! Were you laid off? Not enough work?

RUSSIA/Oh, plenty of work.

Mr. Johnson, are you single, married or divorced?

I am self-widowed.

Single, huh? Me too. Tell me, do you have any plans to ever leave Krasnoyarsk?

Yes. Tonight. About 11 p.m.

Is that right? Well, here’s my address. Stop by for a drink if you’re in the neighborhood!


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Top: An inmate looks at a census-taker as he takes part in an all-Russian general census of population at a male prison camp outside the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk October 18, 2010.

Right: Inmates line up before taking part in an all-Russian general census at the prison camp.

REUTERS photos by Ilya Naymushin

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Funny thing: the two questions I ask guys wanting to take me out are if they are married and if they are ax murderers. Yes to either question and I am out of there!

Wonder if they slip the Death Panel folks in their census takers? Just answer these questions and then walk this way…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Onedoor, if you don’t mind my saying, that seems kind of judgmental of you…

So I suppose a married ax murderer stands no chance at all with you? Because that’s probably going to include most of the guys who read this blog…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I know, I really should be more open minded. One whack of the ax and my head would be wide open!

Oh, I am sure some of the readers are more into knives and guns than axes. They do make for interesting friends.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I’m into axes, Onedoor, and chainsaw and knives, mwahahah! :) I expect I’m not your type anyway though.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive

Census worker: Name?

Prisoner: Vlad.

Census worker: You know, you’re the 1000th prisoner with the name Vlad! Congratulations! You’re our super secret winner today! You get to go free!!

Prisoner: REALLY??!

Census worker: No. What are you in for?

Prisoner: Dismembering a census worker.

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

Wow, I’m guessing the ladies they hire to work in all-male prisons have to undergo rigorous uglifying. I would think being in prison, in Siberia would be enough punishment…I mean, come on, who hasn’t killed anybody with an axe lately?

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

Do hatchets count?
If so then I am completely innocent of all charges.

Posted by IamNotSomebody | Report as abusive

Why is the guard standing in a box? Would it not be more intimidating to the inmate if the guard they bought from 1-800-PrisonSecurity (as seen on TV, free shipping and handling!) wasn’t still in his packaging?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

That inmate looks cute…
I also like their hats… funny, how only they will look cute in those hats…
unless someone from the blog wants to share a similar pic… :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive