Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
It’s lard work, but someone has to do it…
Email 
Print
Blog Guy, I enjoyed your report a few days ago about President Obama eating doughnuts.
How does that work? Does he just walk along and suddenly say, “I’d really like to clog my arteries with a load o’ fried dough about now!” and then they scramble to find a bakery for him?
Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s all very carefully planned. I know this because – just between us – for the past two years I have worked as Obama’s JFAD.
JFAD? I’m not familiar with Washington acronyms.
Oh, sorry. Junk Food Advance Dude.
Awesome! Are you even supposed to be talking about this?
No, but you wouldn’t be on the Internet if you weren’t a good person, so I’m comfortable with sharing.
I crisscross the country looking for the grossest, puffiest, richest, most grease-oozing food I can find, and then his people plan political trips around the stuff.
If there’s a deep fryer, a crackling vat of bubbling lard, a gooey cinnamon bun, a fried Twinkie, heck, even a simple lump of rising dough somewhere out in this great land of ours, I’m on it.
Whether it’s a butt-load of Southern fried chicken in Savannah, or a simple chocolate candy bar in the back of a limo in Dresden, I’ve been there first.
Golly. How long do you think you’ll keep the job?
Well, my current cholesterol level is 820, so you do the math.
Wow! That’s a very high price to pay for your country.
On the contrary, it’s the yeast I can do….
Join the Oddly Enough blog network
Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler
Top: President Barack Obama at a doughnut shop in Seattle, October 21, 2010. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque
Obama tastes a kringle in the O and H Danish Bakery in Racine, Wisconsin, June 30, 2010. REUTERS/Larry Downing
Obama is served fried chicken as he visits Mrs. Wilkes’ Dining Room in Savannah, Georgia, March 2, 2010. REUTERS/Larry Downing
Obama: Obama picks up a cookie as he shops for snacks at Garcia’s Bakery and Deli in West Tisbury, Martha’s Vineyard, August 30, 2009. REUTERS/Jason Reed
Obama eats a snack in his limousine after stepping off Air Force One as he arrives in Dresden, Germany, June 4, 2009.
Comments RSSPost Your Comment
-
Author Profile
-
I dont care… fried chicken yummmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!
I can vouch for the fried chicken at Mrs. Wilkes’ Dining Room. @Shra is right – yummmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!
I would totally volunteer to take your job, BG, after you kick the bucket with your cholesterol over 1000! Do you automatically blow up or something like that when your total cholesterol reaches that magical number?
I’d kill for a beignet about now. With bacon.
Really, Dave? I don’t think you’re allowed to use that expression, considering you’re actually in a position to kill….
Yeah, and what would your goat think??
Mr. B. if Dave had said “I would engage, supress, capture, detain, and interrogate for a beignet about now. With bacon.” the effect would not have been the same.
Ya know, I find Becky kinda cute. Her bright eyes, great smile, one ridiculously blinding white tooth.
Would sending the POTUS a Luther Burger, or a KFC Double-Down, be considered an act of terrorism?
@Dave – the next time you’re near a McDonalds, try ordering a double Big Mac dressed as a Quarter-Pounder, with bacon.
Wait, Dave is supposed to dress as a Quarter-Pounder? Is this some kind of Halloween thing?
Not finished, but abandoned
My window on the demolition
Frames the steepled churches
today. And the morning sun
reflects the dying fire
of leaves, dying like falling
angel wings after the first fall.
Breezes blow of their own volition.
The beat cop walks and lurches,
stumbles. And I cannot run
through the dying fire.
I hear the wind calling.
It feeds, fans, the flames, after all.
10/27/10
Ifly, I was thinking the same thing. I find Becky much more attractive than the two models in the column a couple of days back.
…the learning curve to comprehend the comments on this blog is truly staggering.
Why is Dave in a position to kill people? Who are these people he is in a position to kill? Am I one of them? Does he literally kill people, or just give them a stern talking to?
What does it mean when Shra “zaps” people? Is it something to do with a taser? How does one prevent being tazed?
I feel these are the sort of hard-hitting questions major news outlets are afraid to ask these days.
Wonder what Michelle makes of all these pics? Sure the POTUS gets a dressing down when he is home…
Shawn,
Two forbidden things on this blog are to teach or learn. Violations are punished by Shra with a Taser; although, she has been known to punish with liquorice whips….
I’m beginning to suspect Mr. O has something of a fixation…of the…ahem…you know what I mean.
And now after this post I’m hankering after some doughnuts. Baz, you’re running true to form!
E.
Shawn you have been forewarned.
@Unca, that’s part of her charm! There is just something about a woman with an evil edge to her and has the amibition to think ahead as to the effects of her evilness. And she serves doughnuts!
Mr. B. is Becky single?
Risking the wrath of Shra, what are Kringles? They look tasty.
I don’t mind the odd zap at the moment, I still haven’t managed to get my ‘leccy fence fixed.
@Shawngrggs, to add to Spins comment, Dave also has a goat.
@CG, you worry me…
Tim Horton’s finally has donuts again. Yay!
@Shawn – stick around. I really don’t kill anyone – when threatened, I just defend myself with harsh language. Then my goat gets offended.
Now CG, I cant keep zapping you if you actually LIKE it!
Shawn… well, I have only one rule.. “dont preach, dont teach”..
Oh, and you cant learn too.. this blog just isnt the place for it… if you get my drift….
Well thank you for teaching me, Shra!
Dave, it’s good to know I’m in no danger of being killed. This goat of yours intrigues me, though…
Yeah, well, I am the only one who can handout info… coz the zapper cant be zapped, you see!
Welcome to the OE blog, shawn!
I wont zap ya Spin, coz I know that is not the truth…
Though I must say I am awfully hungry!
Uh, Spin’s information is correct, Shra.
http://www.ohdanishbakery.com/
Ah the leaders and their efforts to behave like us, how cute…
I realised that Mr.B… when I read up Kringle…
My heartlfelt apologies, Spin!!
It’s so very boring how everyone just says “Mr. B.”
I’m going to start calling him “Robbie B.” You don’t mind, do ya, Robbie? I mean, after all, a dope (yes, dope) nickname like that makes up for the whole Kate Beckinsale statue debacle, doesn’t it?
So, let me get this straight…the POTUS can eat this crap, but the American people are lectured by his WIFE about this kind of food…uh…is this “do as I say, not as I do?” How about the smoking??? These people make me sick!! If I want to stuff my face and my kid’s face with McDonalds – it’s none of their business!!!
@Sistamomma…yeah I never listened to my parents when they lectured me either. Either that or I threw myself on the floor screaming and crying “BUT I WANT A HAMBURGER!!” My psychiatrist says a 31 year old should behave more rationally and the meds are helping nicely! Care for a doughnut?
@shawngrggs, speaking for myself I call Mr. B. “Mr. B.” out of respect. For it is He that creates the OE world. For it is He that provides distraction and salvation from the mudane drivel that is work. For it is He that shall lead the chosen commenters to the land of medi-doughnuts with xanax sprinkles where we may lounge carefree in bathrobes and slippers.
That and he lets me fly his airplanes which is pretty darn swell too!
Second that, Mr.Pilot!
Mr.B rock and rollas!