It’s lard work, but someone has to do it…

October 27, 2010

junk food obama top 490

Blog Guy, I enjoyed your report a few days ago about President Obama eating doughnuts.

junk food obama combo 220How does that work? Does he just walk along and suddenly say, “I’d really like to clog my arteries with a load o’ fried dough about now!” and then they scramble to find a bakery for him?

Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s all very carefully planned. I know this because – just between us – for the past two years I have worked as Obama’s JFAD.

JFAD? I’m not familiar with Washington acronyms.

Oh, sorry. Junk Food Advance Dude.

Awesome! Are you even supposed to be talking about this?

No, but you wouldn’t be on the Internet if you weren’t a good person, so I’m comfortable with sharing.

I crisscross the country looking for the grossest, puffiest, richest, most grease-oozing food I can find, and then his people plan political trips around the stuff.

If there’s a deep fryer, a crackling vat of bubbling lard, a gooey cinnamon bun, a fried Twinkie, heck, even a simple lump of rising dough somewhere out in this great land of ours, I’m on it.

Whether it’s a butt-load of Southern fried chicken in Savannah, or a simple chocolate candy bar in the back of a limo in Dresden, I’ve been there first.

Golly. How long do you think you’ll keep the job?

Well, my current cholesterol level is 820, so you do the math.

Wow! That’s a very high price to pay for your country.

On the contrary, it’s the yeast I can do….

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Top: President Barack Obama at a doughnut shop in Seattle, October 21, 2010. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Obama tastes a kringle in the O and H Danish Bakery in Racine, Wisconsin, June 30, 2010. REUTERS/Larry Downing

Obama is served fried chicken as he visits Mrs. Wilkes’ Dining Room in Savannah, Georgia, March 2, 2010. REUTERS/Larry Downing

Obama: Obama picks up a cookie as he shops for snacks at Garcia’s Bakery and Deli in West Tisbury, Martha’s Vineyard, August 30, 2009. REUTERS/Jason Reed

Obama eats a snack in his limousine after stepping off Air Force One as he arrives in Dresden, Germany, June 4, 2009.

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I dont care… fried chicken yummmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by robert basler and Oddly Enough, cabun. cabun said: [Oddly] It’s lard work, but someone has to do it… […]

Posted by Tweets that mention It’s lard work, but someone has to do it… | Analysis & Opinion | — | Report as abusive

I can vouch for the fried chicken at Mrs. Wilkes’ Dining Room. @Shra is right – yummmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!! :-)

I would totally volunteer to take your job, BG, after you kick the bucket with your cholesterol over 1000! Do you automatically blow up or something like that when your total cholesterol reaches that magical number?

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

I’d kill for a beignet about now. With bacon.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Really, Dave? I don’t think you’re allowed to use that expression, considering you’re actually in a position to kill….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Yeah, and what would your goat think??

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Mr. B. if Dave had said “I would engage, supress, capture, detain, and interrogate for a beignet about now. With bacon.” the effect would not have been the same.

Ya know, I find Becky kinda cute. Her bright eyes, great smile, one ridiculously blinding white tooth.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Would sending the POTUS a Luther Burger, or a KFC Double-Down, be considered an act of terrorism?

@Dave – the next time you’re near a McDonalds, try ordering a double Big Mac dressed as a Quarter-Pounder, with bacon.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Wait, Dave is supposed to dress as a Quarter-Pounder? Is this some kind of Halloween thing?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Not finished, but abandoned

My window on the demolition
Frames the steepled churches
today. And the morning sun
reflects the dying fire
of leaves, dying like falling
angel wings after the first fall.

Breezes blow of their own volition.
The beat cop walks and lurches,
stumbles. And I cannot run
through the dying fire.
I hear the wind calling.
It feeds, fans, the flames, after all.


Ifly, I was thinking the same thing. I find Becky much more attractive than the two models in the column a couple of days back.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

…the learning curve to comprehend the comments on this blog is truly staggering.
Why is Dave in a position to kill people? Who are these people he is in a position to kill? Am I one of them? Does he literally kill people, or just give them a stern talking to?
What does it mean when Shra “zaps” people? Is it something to do with a taser? How does one prevent being tazed?

I feel these are the sort of hard-hitting questions major news outlets are afraid to ask these days.

Posted by shawngrggs | Report as abusive

Wonder what Michelle makes of all these pics? Sure the POTUS gets a dressing down when he is home…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive


Two forbidden things on this blog are to teach or learn. Violations are punished by Shra with a Taser; although, she has been known to punish with liquorice whips….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I’m beginning to suspect Mr. O has something of a fixation…of the…ahem…you know what I mean.

And now after this post I’m hankering after some doughnuts. Baz, you’re running true to form!



Posted by egeria | Report as abusive

Shawn you have been forewarned.

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Unca, that’s part of her charm! There is just something about a woman with an evil edge to her and has the amibition to think ahead as to the effects of her evilness. And she serves doughnuts! πŸ˜€

Mr. B. is Becky single?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Risking the wrath of Shra, what are Kringles? They look tasty.

I don’t mind the odd zap at the moment, I still haven’t managed to get my ‘leccy fence fixed.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@Shawngrggs, to add to Spins comment, Dave also has a goat.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@CG, you worry me…

Tim Horton’s finally has donuts again. Yay!

@Shawn – stick around. I really don’t kill anyone – when threatened, I just defend myself with harsh language. Then my goat gets offended.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Now CG, I cant keep zapping you if you actually LIKE it!
Shawn… well, I have only one rule.. “dont preach, dont teach”..
Oh, and you cant learn too.. this blog just isnt the place for it… if you get my drift….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Well thank you for teaching me, Shra!

Dave, it’s good to know I’m in no danger of being killed. This goat of yours intrigues me, though…

Posted by shawngrggs | Report as abusive

Yeah, well, I am the only one who can handout info… coz the zapper cant be zapped, you see! πŸ˜‰

Welcome to the OE blog, shawn! :)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I wont zap ya Spin, coz I know that is not the truth… πŸ˜€
Though I must say I am awfully hungry!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Uh, Spin’s information is correct, Shra.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Ah the leaders and their efforts to behave like us, how cute… πŸ˜‰

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

I realised that Mr.B… when I read up Kringle…
My heartlfelt apologies, Spin!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

It’s so very boring how everyone just says “Mr. B.”

I’m going to start calling him “Robbie B.” You don’t mind, do ya, Robbie? I mean, after all, a dope (yes, dope) nickname like that makes up for the whole Kate Beckinsale statue debacle, doesn’t it?

Posted by shawngrggs | Report as abusive

So, let me get this straight…the POTUS can eat this crap, but the American people are lectured by his WIFE about this kind of food…uh…is this “do as I say, not as I do?” How about the smoking??? These people make me sick!! If I want to stuff my face and my kid’s face with McDonalds – it’s none of their business!!!

Posted by Sistamomma | Report as abusive

@Sistamomma…yeah I never listened to my parents when they lectured me either. Either that or I threw myself on the floor screaming and crying “BUT I WANT A HAMBURGER!!” My psychiatrist says a 31 year old should behave more rationally and the meds are helping nicely! Care for a doughnut? :)

@shawngrggs, speaking for myself I call Mr. B. “Mr. B.” out of respect. For it is He that creates the OE world. For it is He that provides distraction and salvation from the mudane drivel that is work. For it is He that shall lead the chosen commenters to the land of medi-doughnuts with xanax sprinkles where we may lounge carefree in bathrobes and slippers.

That and he lets me fly his airplanes which is pretty darn swell too!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Second that, Mr.Pilot! :)
Mr.B rock and rollas!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

[…] sells sinfully rich pies and cakes. Now, Obama’s interest in desserts and junk food has been well-covered in this blog, so what do you think he was really doing at that shop? Let’s look at all the […]

Posted by Where’s your Science and Pie section? | Oddly Enough Blog | Report as abusive