Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Live up to your employer’s expectations!

October 29, 2010

I wish the news media would think twice about the impact of stories they run. You take this news item about a survey that found more than half of private small company executives EXPECT employees to steal something of value within the next year.

NHL

Indeed, the survey found bosses EXPECT their workers to be much worse than they really are.

As a blogger with an office in my own house, I know only too well how this works. I’ve come home to scenes like the one above, with Lamar, Lonnie and the rest of my staff making off with my sofa, my dining room table, my refrigerator…

AUTOSHOW/Really, Lamar? You didn’t think I’d notice? And which one of you stole my trash bag full of silver spoons that I collected from famous restaurants?

I mean, this is MY stuff. It’s not like a hotel, where they really want you to take some soap and towels, and art from the walls and maybe a television.

But life goes on. Now that I know they already think I’m going to steal, I don’t want to disappoint my own boss.

He’s probably already written off my Reuters company car, the Ferrari 458 Italia they supply to all their bloggers, so who am I to let him down?

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Top: A liquor store is looted after hockey fans celebrating the Montreal Canadiens victory over the Pittsburgh Penguins, turned violent in downtown Montreal, May 12, 2010. REUTERS/Shaun Best

Right: The Ferrari 458 Italia is displayed at the exhibition stand of Ferrari on the first media day of the Geneva Car Show, March 2, 2010. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

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Comments

I harbor this strange thought that it would be nice if the so called “fans” of winning/losing teams who find it necessary to destroy things were met by some of the teams themselves. A few quick moves with a hockey stick and the looting would come to a quick and painful end:)

BG, check Lamar’s parking spot and swap your Taurus for the Ferrari. It wil take him a while to catch on, especially if he drives it into the pool.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

My employers dont really expect me to rob them…. I mean, really.. what would I steal???

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Damn right we steal, got half of my room decorated that way :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 

Think Shra, there must be something. A nice new computer monitor? A coffee maker in the staff room? A spiffy office chair?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Nothing that I can sneak out in my bag, BG….
the big stuff needs moving prowess…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Then go in on Sunday, with a U-Haul. That’s what I usually do.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Jeez Spin, I’d hate to work for your company…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

Look, BG, if you’re certain one of your employees is going to take the car, you can give it to me. None of your employees know where I live. :)

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive
 

Mr. B. when you say they supply you with a Ferrari do they actually give you the whole car or just the wheel in the picture and you get to imagine the rest?

I work at a bank, they most certainly do NOT expect us to steal! Although there is a box of Earl Grey that seems to be missing for some reason. :::cough cough:::

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

What?! Me…steal?! I’d never do….oh wait…I guess I steal time when I’m dossing online as opposed to actually ‘working’.

Heh. hehehehehe.

:P

E.

Posted by egeria | Report as abusive
 

Oh, I steal a lotttttta time!!! I steal internet time and waste my day on FB, news sites like Reuters… yeah… I do that….
I think I took a Post-it home, once…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Shra raises an interesting point which needs clarification.

Work time spent reading THIS blog is not theft. It has been shown repeatedly that my blog improves worker productivity and morale with virtually no side-effects. Fights tooth decay, too!

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

… and I’ve learned so much from this blog! (wink, wink)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive
 

Dont forget, that fighting toot-decay should be credited to my attributes… its gonna be bonus time soon, so, just preparing my points… :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

So that’s why my last visit to the dentist was so impressive!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

I once worked with someone who stole a set of speakers, a file cabinet, video cards, extra RAM, and numerous blank CD’s. He never got around to taking a printer or computer, but we would see him walk out of the office with reams of paper all the time…he had some gall. I mean, a file cabinet? Really? And from the government too…geez. I’m cool just embezzling and looting people’s wallets, no need to go for the big stuff :)

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive
 

Hey, I paid for this pig head.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

Hey, I just realised – I could auquire a taser from my employer, as we have a number of them.
Also a few medium-calibre weapons, stab-proof vests, and a full-body x-ray scanner, if I borrowed Mr B’s U-Haul.
In a backroom someplace, we have one of those remote-controlled robots that open and detonate suspicious packages.
Then there’s the giant warehouse full of confiscated cigarettes, alcohol, weapons, fake name-brand clothing and jewellery, DVDs, CDs, and a bunch of other stuff – all destined to be destroyed.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

Ummm… are there any shoes there, Nosmo?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

About this alcohol…?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

and medium-calibre weapons you say?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

@Spin, that already happened last Tuesday.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

That means, you have a BT-69 and you are still at work????

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

I live at work Shra that’s why I am able to comment on th OE blog so much.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

You know thats not what I mean, Mr.Pilot!
Spin, he better learn to unfold it pretty soon….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

I tried to unfold it but that sneak Lamar used tape!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

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