What the hell have those kids done now?

November 3, 2010

Blog Guy, it’s been two whole months since you’ve seen a sign of the approaching Apocalypse. Isn’t it about time to lower the threat level for your readers?

craters 490

Hardly. If anything, it’s time to raise it. I don’t know if you’ve spotted the trend, but Earth has been caving in rapidly this year, with craters and sinkholes appearing from nowhere, overnight. Suddenly, the surface of our planet looks like the face of a teenager on a French fry diet.

The latest was this crater seen above, which appeared two days ago in the middle of a residential neighborhood in Germany.

STORM-CENTRALAMERICA/From nowhere? Where does that word crater come from, anyway?

Well, I can’t be bothered to look it up, but I believe these things are named after Judge Crater, perhaps the most famous missing person of the 20th century. He disappeared in 1930, and it was as if he was just swallowed up by a hole….

But anyway, this is one of many. Here’s another one in Guatemala, and one in China. Some 480,000 people have disappeared into them in the first 10 months of this year.

craters china 320Astounding! Nearly half a million people? What’s your source on that, Blog Guy?

I just made it up, but it seems about right, what with these holes popping up everywhere. There are a bunch of people I haven’t heard from this year, and I figure that’s what happened to them.

Blog Guy, your casual approach to facts and figures may explain why some people don’t consider this blog a solid news source. Please be more careful. So where does the word sinkhole come from?

True story. It dates back to 1872, when Jethro Sinkhole, a door-to-door lunch meat salesman, disappeared one morning on his….

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Top: A general view of a large crater that appeared in the early hours in the central German town of Schmalkalden, November 1, 2010. REUTERS/Alex Domanski

Left: A giant sinkhole caused by the rains of Tropical Storm Agatha is seen in Guatemala City May 31, 2010. More than 94,000 people have been evacuated as the storm buried homes under mud, swept away a highway bridge near Guatemala City and opened up sinkholes in the capital. REUTERS/Casa Presidencial/Handout

Local residents look at a sinkhole near Qingquan primary school in Dachegnqiao town of Ningxiang, Hunan province June 15, 2010. The hole, 500 feet wide and 50 yards deep, has been growing since it first appeared in January and has destroyed 20 houses so far. No causalities has been reported and the reason for the appearance of the hole remains unclear, local media reported. REUTERS/Stringer

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Heh, most of the world understands how sinkholes occur, but in China, “the reason for the appearance of the hole remains unclear”.

I’d be mad as hell if that was my very nice yard in Germany that is being swallowed.

In honor of Spin, a Haiku (of sorts) –

Honking big sinkholes
The earth swallows us all soon
China has rain too

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

So, you think we are all gonna disappear into a giant crater, like we will actually be gobbled up by Earth?

Now, wait a minute!! 2012 Apocalypse said something else!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Business has been so good in these troubled times, that the Lord of the Underworld has had to outsource soul-collection to private contractors, and sadly this is the shonky nature of some of their work.
The Big Boss was not all pleased when the new ‘soul collection’ expressways accidently became public.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Hey, BG, do you think these sinkholes could be caused by that galactic alignment thingy I keep reading about? 😉
@Dave, I would be even more upset if that was my parkplatz or my auto that the sinkhole swallowed! After all, a yard will grow back, but a parking spot is forever!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by robert basler, Oddly Enough. Oddly Enough said: What the hell have those kids done now? http://dlvr.it/7y4mP […]

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Nosmo: do the accidents on the public expressways also assist the soul collectors?

Dave: the poet and philosopher emerges! You must have had a doughnut!

Shra: Hi! It is nice reading your comments again. Keep that tazer polished.

Jibberish: Good morning! Why, yes, I have had my coffee and am rambling on… If the sinkhole took my car, it would probably spit it back out:)

BG: You know I just have to tell you good morning.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Sometimes I wonder…what if BG is typing a blog and boom! he goes 100 feet down! :O

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

@One – yes, my qi is better aligned after having a few donuts. Now how about sharing that coffee?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Qi is a good Scrabble word to know. The drawback is that it’s not in all dictionaries, so if your house has a 1970s dictionary, you’re SOL if someone challenges you!

My everything is better after a few doughnuts!!!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

Mr. B. you have to rethink your design on the prototype BT-67. Hydrogen fuel cells don’t seem to be working out. Those impact craters are impressive though! While Lamar will be missed I am sure the cloning facilities will have him back up and running soon.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Its only on Scrabble, Jib… the first time I found it I actually wondered what it was!
Now, I pull out the big guns with it!

Fwd, you better hope that does NOT happen to BG… we would all have to head to the nearest mental health institutions where the doughnuts are pathetic!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Yay, Nosmo used the word “shonky”. I’m happy. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I don’t know, Crow. We’re playing with a world of painful tasing here…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Spinster: Madam, in reference to your recent Haiku # Deux–how dare you trivialize my love for Lamar! I herewith have at you with a couplet:

How long would I grieve for my Lamar?
Quoth the Lady, “Evermar!”

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Lala, now you’re a Raven lunatic…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

What, now we get tased for finding something funny?!

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@Mr B: And you, Sir, have poe judgment.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Poe judgment. Do I have great readers, or what?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Crowgirl – I think the tasing will be in line for making us learn what “shonky” means. Of course, if your electric fence is functioning, you can just go give it a grab instead…

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

No, you dont CG…. Mr.B was just joshing ya….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

That’s correct Spin…
and of course, everyone should be scared of the taser…
There is only one rule on the OE blog…

“No teaching, no preaching, no learning!”

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

That sounds like three rules, Shra…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

They are all under one title.. so, its one rule…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

[…] Apocalypse which seems to be hurtling toward us. Last week you warned us about the proliferation of craters and sinkholes. Are there any new […]

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