News, but not the serious kind
What the hell have those kids done now?
Blog Guy, it’s been two whole months since you’ve seen a sign of the approaching Apocalypse. Isn’t it about time to lower the threat level for your readers?
Hardly. If anything, it’s time to raise it. I don’t know if you’ve spotted the trend, but Earth has been caving in rapidly this year, with craters and sinkholes appearing from nowhere, overnight. Suddenly, the surface of our planet looks like the face of a teenager on a French fry diet.
The latest was this crater seen above, which appeared two days ago in the middle of a residential neighborhood in Germany.
From nowhere? Where does that word crater come from, anyway?
Well, I can’t be bothered to look it up, but I believe these things are named after Judge Crater, perhaps the most famous missing person of the 20th century. He disappeared in 1930, and it was as if he was just swallowed up by a hole….
But anyway, this is one of many. Here’s another one in Guatemala, and one in China. Some 480,000 people have disappeared into them in the first 10 months of this year.
Astounding! Nearly half a million people? What’s your source on that, Blog Guy?
I just made it up, but it seems about right, what with these holes popping up everywhere. There are a bunch of people I haven’t heard from this year, and I figure that’s what happened to them.
Blog Guy, your casual approach to facts and figures may explain why some people don’t consider this blog a solid news source. Please be more careful. So where does the word sinkhole come from?
True story. It dates back to 1872, when Jethro Sinkhole, a door-to-door lunch meat salesman, disappeared one morning on his….
Top: A general view of a large crater that appeared in the early hours in the central German town of Schmalkalden, November 1, 2010. REUTERS/Alex Domanski
Left: A giant sinkhole caused by the rains of Tropical Storm Agatha is seen in Guatemala City May 31, 2010. More than 94,000 people have been evacuated as the storm buried homes under mud, swept away a highway bridge near Guatemala City and opened up sinkholes in the capital. REUTERS/Casa Presidencial/Handout
Local residents look at a sinkhole near Qingquan primary school in Dachegnqiao town of Ningxiang, Hunan province June 15, 2010. The hole, 500 feet wide and 50 yards deep, has been growing since it first appeared in January and has destroyed 20 houses so far. No causalities has been reported and the reason for the appearance of the hole remains unclear, local media reported. REUTERS/Stringer