Why I never leave home…

November 6, 2010

melbourne cup 490

Blog Guy, don’t make any plans for tomorrow. I have tickets for us to go see…

melbourne women 320Let me stop you right there. Thanks, that’s very thoughtful, but I’ve already seen it.

I didn’t even say what it is yet. It’s a horse race, so I know you haven’t seen it!

Ah. Right. I meant to say I can’t go because I’m allergic.

Allergic to what?

To that guy who will be sitting right in front of me. It never fails. Whether it’s a movie, a play, a church service, a colonscopy, whatever. Look at that cigarette dangling from his big mouth, do YOU want to sit through anything with him?

melbourne voodoo 280Wait a minute, Blog Guy. Maybe it won’t BE that guy. Maybe it will be three wild and frisky young women. Fancy hats, high-heeled shoes….

Look at me. Do I look like I enjoy wild and frisky? My family calls me “Mr. Fun,” and it’s a masterful use of sarcasm.

Well, I’m not giving up on you. I’ve got you pegged now.

You’re more of a quiet introvert, huh? Maybe you’ll meet a mysterious person from an exotic culture different from your own, on a voodoo mission involving the dead…

HUH? How did we get from horse races to voodoo? And the frickin’ dead? Is it too late to bring back that bozo with the funny hat and big mouth?

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Top: A race-goer cheers as jockey Gerald Mosse of France rides Americain to victory in the Melbourne Cup at the Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne, November 2, 2010. REUTERS/Mick Tsikas

Right: Race-goers strike a pose before the running of the Melbourne Cup. REUTERS/Mick Tsikas

Left: A Haitian voodoo practitioner dressed as “Gede”, a spirit of the voodoo, smokes during a ceremony at the national cemetery in Port-au-Prince, November 1, 2010. Haitians celebrating All Hallows visit cemeteries to pay respects to the dead in a two-day national holiday that offers food, alcohol and flowers to Baron Samdi, the guardian of the dead in voodoo. REUTERS/Eduardo Munoz

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Posted by Tweets that mention Why I never leave home… | Analysis & Opinion | — Topsy.com | Report as abusive

Ok Lamar, I’ll take voodoo for $400, as long as I don’t have to sit next to the smoking dude. They offer food AND alcohol? Maybe it’s not too late to change my name to Baron Samdi. Someone else can have the flowers.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive


Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I thought Truman Capote passed away……

Voodoo you say?

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

What? Lamar couldn’t nag you into watching a horse race?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Brilliant post, BG! I want some of whatever’s in your coffee this morning.

Go Zenyatta!!!

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

@KWest, Imma let you finish but Elvis has the best “did he really die?” conspiracy ever.

How did I do with that? It’s my first time, go easy on me! :p

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

One cup of Kopi Luwak coming up for justCAM.

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

Aren’t there an awful lot of white hats around today? I’m just saying … maybe staying home is a good idea.

Posted by BethyB | Report as abusive

A very good point, BethyB. You suppose that guy is the brains behind the conspiracy?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Brains behind the conspiracy … now there’s an oxymoron if ever I heard one.

Posted by BethyB | Report as abusive

Let’s see now – loudmouth guys wearing funny hats, drinking beer at a horse race.
Yep, has to be Australia.

I wonder if there were any football players there to film themselves simulating… err, um, ‘entertaining’ the horses?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

“Race-goers strike a pose before the running of the Melbourne Cup.” is the caption of ths second picture. Funny, I have never seen a cup run before. I have heard stories of a fork running away with a spoon but nothing involving a cup.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I’m offended and outraged about the gentleman performing in white-face! It’s insensitive and inflammatory to my people!

…also, I hope I didn’t cross a line just there…

Posted by shawngrggs | Report as abusive

the girl with the lavender flower in her hair needs to look out for bees….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

That guy in the first picture looks like Robert Blake to me. Somebody let him out of jail?

Posted by lceel | Report as abusive

@Unca & @Spin… you must be toking! Unless you are chickens, cause then you’d be choking? Wait… what was the question again?

Posted by drgnbait | Report as abusive
Posted by justM | Report as abusive



Quick, quick, get the aluminium foil and make your head cones now!!

Sorry, no medidoughnuts in a long while!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive