In words of one syllable, you’re nuts…

November 10, 2010


Blog Guy, my doctor sent me to you for some career advice. I need a job that works with some, uh, small quirks I have.

Quirks? Well, your timing is good. I was just thumbing through a glossy brochure called “Your Future in Hippopotamus Hygiene.”

CHINA/That’s not a good fit for me.

Really? You get to work over at the Hippodrome, take the Hippocratic Oath and spend time around hippopotamuses…

Stop with the long hippo words! My shrink said you don’t use any scary big words in your blog. He was wrong! SIX YEARS of therapy, down the drain!

Oh, you have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, right? The fear of long words?

Yes! You’re so cruel! You lure folks to a safe haven and then spring a huge word on them! You’re nothing but a hip…hippo…hippo…


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A keeper brushes a hippo’s teeth at the Shanghai Zoo November 3, 2010. REUTERS/Stringer

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I thought hippopotamuses only had 6 or 8 teeth. If so, it seems that the hippopotamus dental hygienist has a pretty cush job. No?

I think I have been permanently scarred by that word. I still can’t say it all. It may even be worse than German words, where they combine 8 different words to make a ridiculously long word that means something entirely different than any of the 8 root words!!!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

Darn BG, you actually TAUGHT me something… I mean, I LEARNT something… guess you need to be zapped!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

No Shawn, I won’t zap myself.. coz the zapper can NOT be zapped..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

It looks like the hippopotamus is actually bulimic, and the hygienist is really an enabler in disguise. Not that I blame the hippopotamus for wanting to slim down a bit…

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

Query: Looks like they sawed off the hippo’s teeth. Hippo’s have some monstrously big tusks (they can almost rip a croc in two), and this hippo just has nubs. Kinda like sawing the tusks off an elephant. Sorry, but I found the view actually pretty sad.


Posted by REDruin | Report as abusive

Yeah, BG, you really crossed the learning line with this one. You definitely deserve a zap.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Right, Dave. You’ve heard the expression “suicide by cop”? cop

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Thanks, Bob, I LOVE that word. Now to memorize it, and find a way to work it into conversations. Hey, how about “guess what my favorite word is?” lol

Posted by BethyB | Report as abusive

Cant kill you Mr.Blog Guy, I enjoy the blog too much… nor would I enjoy being hunted down by your gazillion fans, if you die of the zap…
Hell, I wouldnt forgive myself!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, you need a good zapping. If you have trouble zapping yourself, I’m sure one of the other fine upstanding citizens of this blog would be more than happy to do it.

Posted by shawngrggs | Report as abusive

@Spin: As gross and awful as EDs are, maybe Oprah and the hippo should get together on this. The presence of a carrot tells me that a proper diet won’t help chunky monkey too much! And by chunky monkey, I mean the hippo. And Oprah.

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

I’m pretty sure the zookeeper is using a plunger on that poor Hippopotamus. I hear it is the only cure for the Spanish hiccups… Hipos. :)

Posted by drgnbait | Report as abusive

Hey hippo, you got a little piece of carrot stuck…no the other side..right there…you didn’t get it… no you missed it…. dude it’s right there…

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Hypnotic Hippocrates handles hypertensive Hippogriff at the Hippodrome

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Now you’ve got me singing the Hippopotamus song (by Flanders and Swann)…
Mud, mud, glorious mud,
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood,
So follow me follow,
Down to the hollow,
And there we will wallow
In glorious mud.

Posted by HaroldW | Report as abusive

Ahhh. Chunky Monkey, my favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor! Honesty in advertising at it’s finest!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

@ dear HaroldW–thanks for mentioning the BEST song ever!!

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Indeed, Ladylala, that’s the reason Rick asked Sam to play it so often in “Casablanca…”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Shawn, mind it!!!
HaroldW, looooooovely song… I have given it a new tune and hope to irritate my co-workers to death… 😛

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Unca: Not only could that hippo dance, she could really flirt with those long eyelashes and coy smile.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive