The Used Underwear of the Apocalypse?

November 12, 2010

madoff auction 490

Blog Guy, thank you so much for keeping us alert on signs of that Apocalypse which seems to be hurtling toward us. Last week you warned us about the proliferation of craters and sinkholes. Are there any new signs?

MADOFF/You bet. Tomorrow, keep your eyes on an auction of stuff that once belonged to Bernie Madoff, the mega-swindler who is serving 150 years in prison.

Among the items up for sale are a 10-carat diamond ring and a 1917 Steinway grand piano.

Ah, and that’s a sign of the Apocalypse, huh?

No. Be patient. Also among the items are Madoff’s boxer shorts and some black velveteen slippers.

USA/I get it now. It’s a sign of the Apocalypse that somebody would want to own Madoff’s old slippers and underwear?

You’re getting closer. The real sign will come when people with enough money to bid on a 10-carat diamond are put in the very same auction room as folks looking to buy used underwear. This could be a bad one.

Wow. Anything special we should watch for, then?

Yeah. Look out for a weaselly little halfwit who will raise his hand and ask in a squeaky voice, “Is them underpants clean or dirty?”

Be ready to run.

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Top: A pair of boxer shorts belonging to Bernard Madoff is displayed by an auctioneer during a media preview of the U.S. Marshals Service auction, November 10, 2010. More than 400 pieces of personal property, jewelry, and antiques from Madoff and his wife, Ruth, will be sold at the auction in New York City on November 13, 2010. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi

Right: Madoff’s black velveteen slippers embroidered with gold thread. REUTERS/U.S. Marshals Service/Handout

Left: A 10-carat diamond ring belonging to Bernard Madoff is seen during a media preview of the auction. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi

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12 comments

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You are right, BG…. when a Chinese vase can be sold for £43 million… I am sure there are dimwits ready to buy Madoff’s skivvies… However buying his slippers would literally put them “in his shoes”… not sure how many people would want to be in them anyways….

But like you said, they are the signs of the Apocalypse and shouldnt be ignored….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

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Wow. The word “skivvies” is really getting some air time on your blog BG. What gives?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Hmm…I thought selling used underwear was illegal, no? I wonder how much they’re going for…and where this auction is going to be…

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

You know that the piano comes with a selection of Bernie’s favorite sheet music:
Jailhouse Rock
Can I get a Witness?
I Fought the Law

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

The ring is probably paste. The real one was hocked to keep his ponzi schemes running just a little longer…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

BLM = Badass Looking Moron? Big Love Marathon? Babies Like Metallica? I’m actually fine with that last one.

Posted by kgolden1 | Report as abusive

This crap is valuable? Man, I’m sitting on a GOLD MINE and I didn’t even know it!

Is there a way to have OE beamed directly into my brain via satellite, or something? I’m literally traveling to the middle of nowhere, Nebraska, this weekend and will be without computers or, I suspect, electricity.

Posted by shawngrggs | Report as abusive

I honestly don’t know how to answer that, Shawn. Nobody with a brain has ever expressed an interest in OE before.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

It’s sweet justice: Madoff’s victims lose their shirts and Bernie loses his shorts. I say, never trust a guy that puts his name on his shoes.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Even Michael Jordan?

Posted by KWest | Report as abusive

Imma let you win this one, KWest.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Ha ha nice one KWest! :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

[...] //]]> crime | humor | lamar | money | shoes | underwear Two days ago I wrote about an auction where the government was going to sell a bunch of stuff belonging to big-time swindler Bernie [...]