The Used Underwear of the Apocalypse?
Blog Guy, thank you so much for keeping us alert on signs of that Apocalypse which seems to be hurtling toward us. Last week you warned us about the proliferation of craters and sinkholes. Are there any new signs?
You bet. Tomorrow, keep your eyes on an auction of stuff that once belonged to Bernie Madoff, the mega-swindler who is serving 150 years in prison.
Among the items up for sale are a 10-carat diamond ring and a 1917 Steinway grand piano.
Ah, and that’s a sign of the Apocalypse, huh?
No. Be patient. Also among the items are Madoff’s boxer shorts and some black velveteen slippers.
I get it now. It’s a sign of the Apocalypse that somebody would want to own Madoff’s old slippers and underwear?
You’re getting closer. The real sign will come when people with enough money to bid on a 10-carat diamond are put in the very same auction room as folks looking to buy used underwear. This could be a bad one.
Wow. Anything special we should watch for, then?
Yeah. Look out for a weaselly little halfwit who will raise his hand and ask in a squeaky voice, “Is them underpants clean or dirty?”
Be ready to run.
Top: A pair of boxer shorts belonging to Bernard Madoff is displayed by an auctioneer during a media preview of the U.S. Marshals Service auction, November 10, 2010. More than 400 pieces of personal property, jewelry, and antiques from Madoff and his wife, Ruth, will be sold at the auction in New York City on November 13, 2010. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi
Right: Madoff’s black velveteen slippers embroidered with gold thread. REUTERS/U.S. Marshals Service/Handout
Left: A 10-carat diamond ring belonging to Bernard Madoff is seen during a media preview of the auction. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi