Welcome to Wackytown

November 12, 2010

RUSSIA/

Blog Guy, I’ve noticed something odd. Several of your recent posts – three bodybuilding items, that prison census piece, even the famous bride and groom shot – all came from a city called Krasnoyarsk, in Siberia. What gives?

RUSSIA/I knew I couldn’t keep that a secret forever.

Yes, Krasnoyarsk is the goofiest spot on earth. It is the mother lode of wacky stuff.

There is an entire wing devoted to life in Krasnoyarsk in my Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, and visitors spend hours there. Indeed, I even have a Krasnoyarsk topic tag on my blog.

Wow! You should organize a Krasnoyarsk trip for your blog readers. So I guess this raises an obvious question.

Yes, I guess so. Uh, what would that be?

How do they wash their feet over there?

RUSSIA/Oh. In the sink, leaning up against a window. That’s why falls from highrise bathrooms are the single biggest cause of death among barefoot people in Krasnoyarsk.

That’s fascinating. If I went there could I scuba dive?

Yes, but only in small inflatable pools. And remember to keep watching out for falling foot-washers.

I will. Does the city have a motto?

“Where Wiener Dogs Dare to Fly!” It’s a reference to the annual “What’s Up, Dachshund?” festival, which comes not long before Santa Claus bungee jumps into homes at Christmas.

So it’s a city where wiener dogs can fly but foot-washers can’t…

Yep. It kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?

Krasnoyarsk photo slideshow

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RUSSIA/

Top: A soldier washes his feet at a military barracks in Russia’s Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk, November 3, 2010.

Right: A Dachshund runs through an agility course at a regional exhibition in Krasnoyarsk, October 24, 2010.

Left: A scuba diver sits in an inflatable pool advertising tourism in the center of Krasnoyarsk April 5, 2008.

Right: A man dressed as Father Frost makes a bungee jump from a bridge across the Yenisei River in Krasnoyarsk, December 27, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Ilya Naymushin

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11 comments

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Sounds like my kinda town. They know how to have fun! Any pics of the local doughnut shop? :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Do you think there are star whackers in Wackytown? How about in Krasnoyarsk?

And, really, why wouldn’t Santa Clause bungee jump? It makes perfect sense to me! Doughnut, stat! Please?

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

I have to say, Bob, that the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop was definitely one of the highlights of our trip to D.C….ESPECIALLY for the boys! They got a big kick out of all of the exhibits, but I think the Krasnoyarsk Way of Life was probably their favorite. They were laughing and talking about it for hours afterward….of course, that could have just been delirium that set in as a result of an overload of sugar. I think maybe the chocolate icing and sprinkles on their doughnuts went straight to their heads….

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

What a LOVELY testimonial, JustK! Lamar enjoyed giving your family the VIP treatment.

Now if the boys could just return those mugs and shirts they carried out under their coats, we’ll call it even.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Father Frost is in shape! Oh no wait… its coz he is falling… hmm…
Think I need doughnuts!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

That’s great.
(Six months later)
Soldier: Hey, I’m out of prison now.
Officer: Great, we need more soldiers. If you’d like to be an officer, go sit in that window and wash your feet…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

You’ll have to talk to Lamar about that, Bob. He handed them to the boys and said “These are on the house….just stick them in your pockets so you don’t lose them…” When the alarm went off on our way out the door, he waved us on and told us to hurry or we’d miss our tour bus. Ask him…he’ll vouch for us…and if he doesn’t, I know where to find him.

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

I think Lamar is masquerading as Father Frost… so, JustK DOES know where to find him….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

It would be much simpler if they would just switch the signs for the barracks and the prison every 6 months…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

So is that Father Frost, or Father Frosting, ’cause this IS wackytown and thst would probably make more sense.

I wonder where he washes his feet?

Maybe he just gets the Dachshund to lick them clean?

Hey, maybe Randy Quaid should seek asylum there.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

In the town down the road from me, they have an annual half marathon with people dressed in Santa costumes. A couple of years ago, post-celebratory drinks, it all descended into a mass drunken brawl of 200 or so Santas. The photographs were incredible. True story.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

[...] blogs.reuters Time: 2010-11-15 05:55:02 Go Source [...]

[...] for the old Blog Guy, I’m off to pursue my dream of running a third-rate Tiki Bar, Foot-Wash and Elephant Proctology Lab on the beach at Krasnoyarsk, Siberia, a spot my readers know well. [...]