News, but not the serious kind
Weekend at Bernie’s?
Two days ago I wrote about an auction where the government was going to sell a bunch of stuff belonging to big-time swindler Bernie Madoff, including some of his underwear and a pair of monogrammed slippers…
So just to update you, the auction was yesterday and it raked in more than $2 million. A 10-carat diamond ring alone fetched $550,000.
Believe it or not, somebody paid $6,000 for the Madoff slippers, and a grouping containing the sleazebucket’s underwear and socks went for $1,700. That’s right, $1,700.
The high-rollers who bought those personal items might want to see this transcript from listening devices the government planted in Madoff’s posh New York City home when they were building their case. Here is Bernie and a close business associate:
“Jeez, Bernie! You gonna keep clipping those nauseating twisty yellow toenails? You think I wanna walk on those clippings?”
“Shut your cakehole, Lamar, I’m trying to watch ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?‘ Besides, I’m dropping the clippings in these monogrammed slippers here, so who cares?”
“You’re still disgusting, Bernie. Don’t you ever wash those feet? And another thing. You’ve worn that same pair of stinky undershorts this entire weekend. You’re a frickin’ billionaire! You can’t afford a clean pair?”
“None of your beeswax, Lamar! It’s not like anybody else is ever gonna wear ‘em!”
“Ewwwwwww, Bernie, that Mexican food really gives you gas! Let’s crack a window in here.”
“You gonna finish that enchilada, Lamar? Ya know, you can go home anytime you want. It’s not like we’re in a prison….”
So. Enjoy your new purchases, whomever you are.
Right: A press release from the U.S. Marshals Service shows three of the more than 400 pieces of personal property. REUTERS/U.S. Marshals Service/Handout
Left: A pair of boxer shorts belonging to Bernard Madoff. REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi