Can I have a beer first, Doctor?

November 22, 2010

nightclub 490

Blog Guy, I have a medical question. I’m a woman considering getting breast implants. Where can I go to get a breast exam and a reliable professional opinion on this?

I’d probably just head for a nightclub. There may be a doctor there who can examine you right on the spot.

FRANCEExcuse me? A nightclub? I’m pretty sure that’s inappropriate. Where in the HELL would you have to live to submit to a breast exam in a BAR?

In Idaho. Just a few days ago, police arrested someone they say posed as a physician and duped  women into having their breasts examined by her at Boise-area nightclubs.

No! That’s the single goofiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, Blog Guy.

It gets goofier. You haven’t asked me yet what name the “doctor” gave to these women.

Oh. Okay, what was the name?

Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna.

You can’t be serious.¬†They let a Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna examine their breasts in a bar? If Idaho women are that gullible, what’s to stop just anybody from jumping on a plane, flying out there, and “examining” breasts in every bar in town?

Well, it turns out flights to Boise are pretty expensive, and they’re booked through the holidays…. Oops. I mean, yes, you make a very good point.

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A stripper, dressed in a wedding veil, performs during the Just Married Party at the “Gagarin” night club in the center of Russia’s Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk in the early hours of October 9, 2010. REUTERS/Ilya Naymushin

Canadian actress Pamela Anderson stands on the deck of a boat before her wedding ceremony aboard a yacht in St Tropez, southern France, July 29, 2006. REUTERS/Eric Gaillard

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And may the complaining begin…. the guys ofcourse..!

Umm.. I am beginning to wonder about the Krasnoyarskians… I mean, not that I didnt wonder about them earlier…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

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Posted by Tweets that mention Can I have a beer first, Doctor? | Analysis & Opinion | — | Report as abusive

Nicely done BG. Shra, what do we have to complain about? :p

That’s it, Krasnoyarsk is now on my list of places to go visit. I wonder if they’ll give me a visa?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Dave, it’s up to you, but fyi Krasnoyarsk has a visa booth located right inside the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop. g/goofy-face-museum/

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Complaining coz Lamar cheated you guys of a front view? No? Dont mind? Well then, my bad!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Ohhh I was wondering why BasAir suddenly had an influx of bookings!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

So if I understand this correctly, in Krasnoyarsk you can have strippers at your Wedding function, and that’s OK.
I have to ask what do you get at the bachelor party?

@Dave – they may not give you a Visa, but I’m sure you can buy a stolen Mastercard.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

See now, I’m concerned about Miss Anderson’s shorts. Those white things hanging out at the bottom are supposedly the pocket flaps from the inside lining. Can she possibly carry anything in them? Or am I missing the point here? Or is there one, even?

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Point ladylala? Other than acting as a nice substitute for BG’s annoying white bar, I think not.

By the way, I think that top she is wearing is made from a new super-secret material that they make trampolines from. In Krasnoyarsk, of course.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Pamela Anderson’s best years are behind her. Even in that pic you can see her body is aging around her implants. And it’s not aging nicely.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

She caused quite the stir in India…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I think I see an opportunity for a cottage industry: namely, bikini tops made for implanted breasts, actually the correct size to cover them up.

Posted by katcan333 | Report as abusive

No katcan, I knew a guy who started a business like that. It went bust.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Well Mr. B that joke could have only been worse if your were English, then instead of ‘bust’ you could have used… Oh, never mind.

@Ifly – I misread your entry and thought it said that her breast years were her behind. Which almost makes sense.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@Nosmo, dude those bad boys are gonna be around long before we are all gone. I do believe that aside from cockroaches Pamela Andersons…um…”twins”… are gonna be the only thing to survie a nuclear holocost. They are heavy duty!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Trying to think of more of such Pamela Anderson wannabes…
Maybe we could make a shelter using their “assets” and save ourselves from the Apocalypse??

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive