Look Ma, it’s like we’re really THERE!
Staff, this holiday season we’re going for broke. We’ve jammed our store full of flat-screen TVs of all sizes, wall-to-wall, and now we need to make shoppers think they can’t live without owning one.
Lamar, you were in charge of selecting content to excite the shoppers. They need to be slobbering, frothing at the mouth, willing to spend everything they have for one of these TVs.
So, what did you choose? An action-packed Blu-ray thriller? Perhaps a thudding pop music video? A larger-than-life romance for the women?
Не, бос, я выбраў…
In English, Lamar, not Belarussian.
Sure, Boss. We’re going with closed-circuit broadcast of President Lukashenko.
LUKASHENKO? Doing what? Sky-diving? Running from a burning building?
Even better, Boss. President Lukashenko addressing National Congress, in Minsk! Is very good, huh Boss?
Lamar, take this revolver and shoot out every TV screen in the store. We’ll have to sell these things as large radios…
Okay, Boss. After I shoot all TVs, what then?
I’m glad you asked, Lamar….
A woman visits an electronics store with television screens displaying Belarussian President Alexander Lukashenko addressing delegates at the national congress on the state of the nation, in the capital Minsk December 6, 2010. REUTERS/Vladimir Nikolsky