Hey Billy, you’re gettin’ out of hell!
Blog Guy, I need your help. I have too much important stuff on my mind lately, and I need something to think about that is totally irrelevant.
I mean, this needs to be so inconsequential that after I think about it, I’ll feel dirty just for wasting my time on it.
You sure came to the right place, stranger! How about the issue of whether Billy the Kid should get a pardon?
People are discussing that? Tell me more!
It turns out New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson is reviewing a pardon petition based on the widespread belief that an earlier territorial governor promised Billy a pardon in exchange for his testimony in a murder trial.
But isn’t Billy dead? Really, really dead?
Yep, since 1881, but some folks are pushing for a posthumous pardon.
Yes, that’s a word that means, “Who gives a crap?”
So there’s nothing really at stake here?
Well, I suppose maybe if Billy gets the pardon he’ll be moved to slightly nicer circle of hell or something, but nobody is saying this will vindicate him.
So there’s no harm in supporting the petition, right?
Uh, it could set a legal precedent, and the spirits of Jesse James, Vlad the Impaler, John Wilkes Booth, Adolf Hitler and Eddie Haskell could be released from hell to roam the Earth and destroy all that we hold dear.
But that’s the only downside?
No. In light of this debate, you might also think about whether New Mexico even needs to have a governor at all.
Right: Henry McCarty, a.k.a. Billy the Kid, is pictured in this undated photograph obtained by Reuters on December 16, 2010.
Left: New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson (R) meets Pope Benedict XVI during Wednesday general audience in Saint Peter’s square at the Vatican April 15, 2009. REUTERS/Osservatore Romano
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