Sales from the crypt…
What is the matter with people?
All of these ghoulish transactions were clear signs of the onrushing Apocalypse, and yet they somehow pale by comparison to an auction a few days ago.
An anonymous creep paid more than $87,000 for the yucky old wood coffin that held Lee Harvey Oswald’s body for nearly 20 years, until his badly decomposed remains were exhumed for tests and reburied in a new casket.
My favorite part is, our story says the price they got exceeded the target price of $60,000.
Oh really? We expected some moron to pay $60,000 for the rotting coffin of an alleged presidential assassin, but we had NO IDEA anybody would be stupid enough to pay $87,000?
No wonder the buyer remained anonymous.
Herb, Marsha, bring your drinks into the family room and see our new pine coffee table!
You might wanna cover your noses. It smells just a bit earthy, but I can’t tell you why. Honey, open the window so Marsha can breathe.
Yeah Herb, we did notice the worms crawling in and the worms crawling out. They’re part of the piece’s charm!
Marsha, would you mind using a coaster? This IS a collectible, you know!