News, but not the serious kind
A great year to be a dumbass!
As you may have noticed, 2010 was quite a year for dumbasses.
It seems like they were everywhere. Celebrities, sports figures, politicians, and just regular dumbasses as well, the kind who might live next door to you.
Until recently the victims of widespread discrimination, dumbasses now seem to be not only accepted, but even in vogue. Look at any “talking head” news show on TV.
Let’s recap the year’s highlights.
We got the first hint that dumbasses were coming out of hiding back in January, when televangelist Pat Robertson told us that earthquake-devastated Haiti had been cursed because they made a deal with the devil 200 years ago, and then he added, “True story.”
“True story?” Uh-oh.
Then in May, Argentina soccer coach Diego Maradona ran over a cameraman.
This act alone doesn’t necessarily make him a dumbass. He could just be a bad driver. But what did Maradona do next? He stuck his head out the window and called the injured guy an “asshole.” What a class act.
Charlie Sheen, come on down! You may recall the actor has had lots of problems this year. We caught up with him in August at a courthouse where he pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife.
As he showed for sentencing, Sheen blew kisses to “fans” and gave a clenched fist salute outside the courthouse. I didn’t even know wife-assaulters had “fans,” but that tasteless fist gesture certainly boosted him into the Dumbass Hall of Fame.
And what about the followers of a “religion” who staged anti-gay protests at U.S. military funerals to promote their claim that God is angry at America for tolerance toward homosexuals? You guys, move right to the front of the dumbass line.
Don’t forget our dumbass sports enthusiasts. Like the handball fans who showed up at a championship and pelted the building with gas bombs, rocks and flares.
But I think what really sealed the deal for dumbass acceptance in 2010 were the little people. The dad who started his kid on cigarettes at the age of 18 months, and the father we photographed holding his five-month-old son over a crocodile, and others too numerous to mention.
Clearly dumbasses, your time has come. If you are one and you’ve been thinking of going public, what are you waiting for?
A Sheedi devotee seeks blessings for his five-month-old son while holding him over a crocodile during the crocodile festival at the Manghopir shrine in Karachi June 13, 2010. REUTERS/Athar Hussain
Actor Charlie Sheen gestures toward fans as he arrives for a sentencing hearing at the Pitkin County Courthouse in Aspen, Colorado August 2, 2010. REUTERS/Rick Wilking
Screen grab of smoking baby from Reuters Video
A supporter of Serbia’s soccer team holds a lit flare before the team’s Euro 2012 qualifying soccer match against Italy at the Luigi Ferraris stadium in Genoa, October 12, 2010. The match was abandoned on Tuesday after away fans threw flares onto the pitch and at Italian fans. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo