News, but not the serious kind
Love Hmong the Ruins, a very goofy year
I just get a special enjoyment from doing some items, and I hope it shows. Sometimes it’s because people do real things that you would never imagine. Other times a photo or germ of an idea just makes me laugh and I take off with it.
Some of the year’s highlights for me:
Hollywood still hasn’t sent my $4 million check for it yet, but one of the best true yarns of the year was the “love market” for ethnic Hmong people in Vietnam.
On one day a year, married men and women wait for the return of their former lovers with whom they can meet again without jealousy from their spouses. That’s right. Folks meet up with former lovers, and get a one-day free pass from their spouses. I couldn’t invent something like that if I tried.
Once again, my initial question remains unanswered: Do the spouses in this village not have access to machetes, pipe wrenches or rat poison?
There were plenty more fun items. It’s hard to top the new rug unveiled for the White House Oval Office, complete with inspiring quotes. The only problem? The one attributed to Rev. Martin Luther King was really from King quoting somebody else. Oops.
What a goofy year it was. I got to talk to a guy who collects airline barf bags for a hobby – a chunderwear collection, I believe I called it.
Sometimes, the news came directly to me as a cosmic gift. Like those blundering U.S. Census folks who are sure my house is honeycombed with secret apartments, and those morons from the University of Wisconsin Alumni Association who just won’t leave me alone. They don’t call ‘em Badgers for nothing.
And the Government Death Panels. I’ve been all over that story this year, and it just may be my ticket to big-time journalism. Whatever that is.
Then there was the great day I found out about an airplane company called Basler Turbo Conversions, in Oshkosh. I don’t totally understand what they do, but I’m running it into the ground anyway. What Basler wouldn’t do that?
I also revealed that I have held down another job, as Barack Obama’s Junk Food Advance Coordinator, setting the president up with the grossest, puffiest, richest, most grease-oozing foods I can find. You wait your whole life for a gig like that.
Yes, I’ve seen the photos of Obama eating something called “shave ice” on vacation in Hawaii this week. He found that crap himself, so don’t blame it on me. I can’t do everything.
Anyway, thanks for coming back to the blog and sharing the fun. Here’s wishing you all an even goofier new year…
Top: Ethnic San Chi girls look at a mobile phone while attending the “love market” in Khau Vai village in Vietnam’s northern Ha Giang province, May 9, 2010. REUTERS/Kham
Right: The redecorated Oval Office of U.S. President Barack Obama has new carpeting, wallpaper and sofas. August 31, 2010. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst
Left: U.S. President Barack Obama shows his “shave ice” to the media at Island Snow near where he is staying while he is on Christmas vacation in Kailua, Hawaii December 27, 2010. REUTERS/Hugh Gentry
Right: The crew of a Basler BT-67 fixed wing aircraft release oil dispersant over an oil discharge from the mobile offshore drilling unit, Deepwater Horizon, off the shore of Louisiana, in this May 5, 2010 photograph. REUTERS/Stephen Lehmann/U.S. Coast Guard/handout