Two words I hate to see together

January 2, 2011

Blog Guy, you seem upset. What is it?

LIFE-ACUPUNCTURE/I just read a health story that said they’re considering using acupuncture to treat people with “lazy eye.”


Look, my readers know I’ve come to grips with a number of oxymorons in this blog. Stuff like “homemade submarines” and “amateur bullfighting.

But the idea of talking about needles and eyes at the same time is just too much for me. It’s like that quote from Shakespeare, “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye…”

Blog Guy, that wasn’t Shakespeare, that’s something kids say. And the story just talks about sticking acupuncture needles “into points on the body classically associated with vision…”

Yeah? Personally, the point on the body that I classically associate with vision is my eyeballs.

AL BASRII think you misunderstand the concept, and you’re making too much of it.

All I know is, I could have the worst case of “lazy eye” on record.

Heck, I could have “indolent eye,” “lethargic eye,” “unemployment is fine for me” eye. I could even have “Take this Job and Shove it eye,” and I STILL wouldn’t let anybody near me with needles.

Really? Do you swear that?

Yep. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a… Damn you, that was a trick!

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Right: Dr. Shali Rassouli performs a cosmetic acupuncture treatment on patient Ruth Dorree in Toronto, July 17, 2008. Facial acupuncture treatment, dubbed “nonsurgical face-lift” has grown in popularity over the past few years. REUTERS/Mike Cassese

Left: Combo picture of Abdulah al-Basri from Iraq, pushing his eyeballs forward at Jordanian ophthalmic surgeon clinic in Amman, in a 2001 file photo. Ophthalmic surgeons said Abdullah’s case is rare and unusual, as he has control over the muscles of his eyes that most people do not. REUTERS/Ali Jarekji

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Please, oh please, do not put that photo in the Goofy Face Museum! There aren’t enough sprinkles to rid it from my mind.

What about a camel through the eye of a needle?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I think Abdulal al-Basri has a condition known as “ADD Eye”. :)

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

@skeres, or he just had his first prostate exam.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

In any case, Mr B, here’s mud in your eye. Have a great year.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by robert basler, Oddly Enough, blogs of the world, Asem and others. Asem said: Two words I hate to see together | Analysis & Opinion |: Left: Combo picture of Abdulah al-Basri from … #asematy […]

Posted by Tweets that mention Two words I hate to see together | Analysis & Opinion | — | Report as abusive

Lovely, Spinster. Just lovely…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

One, I second ya…
Just looking at him, gives me the heebie-jeebies!!

Ugghh… I would like some acupuncture to get rid of this eye-popping headache I seem to have got, all of a sudden…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

And that, Spin, would explain why her dress was so soggy! For some reason, I often mistype Spin as “Sin.” Hmmm….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive