A textbook case of stupid?

January 3, 2011


I feel I have been slighted, and I must speak my bitterness.

Let me back up for a moment. The Washington Post has been reporting on textbooks being used in some Virginia schools which are riddled with errors about history.

textbooks yikes 220The numerous mistakes include the wrong number of states in the Confederacy during the Civil War, the wrong year the U.S. entered World War I, etc.

One historian came up with a list of textbook errors 10 pages long, “including inaccurate claims that men in Colonial Virginia commonly wore full suits of armor.”

Several of these books were written by a New Yorker, who the Post says is not a trained historian. Apart from the textbooks, she is also the author of works such as, “Oh, Yikes! History’s Grossest, Wackiest Moments.”

So now I guess you can see why I’m upset with the State of Virginia.

Did they really have to go all the way to New York to get somebody to write unreliable history textbooks when I’m sitting here in Washington DC, right across the lake or whatever from Virginia?

textbook oddly enough 220I myself have produced two books of odd stories, AND a popular goofy blog, and I can grind out silly information with the best of them.

Heck, I don’t even have to bother doing time-consuming online research. IΒ  can just use my own imagination, plus junk I overhear in bakeries.

But don’t just take my word for it, Virginia education officials.

In a few days you will receive Volume One of my own U.S. history textbook, ending in 1867 when actress Shirley Booth pushed President Abraham Lincoln off that balcony to his death at a Ford dealership here.

All I ask is that you take off your suits of armor, sit back and have a look at it.

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A Harley Davidson fan drives his motorcycle at the Harley-Davidson 100th anniversary open road tour in Barcelona June 28, 2003, wearing a suit of armor. REUTERS/Albert Gea

Left: Book cover, “Oh, Yikes! History’s Grossest, Wackiest Moments.”

Right: Book cover, “Oddly Enough.”

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Posted by Tweets that mention A textbook case of stupid? | Analysis & Opinion | — Topsy.com | Report as abusive

Bakery gossip is the best gossip.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Who needs accuracy in history? I always enjoyed drawing tutus and mustaches on historical figures in my textbooks…..

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

While in a bakery, I overheard someone saying the colonial spies used to dress in armor and stand in the corner at dinner parties in an effort to learn something. I think they learned how heavy and hot armor is.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Blog Guy! What an opportunity for you. Don’t kids still take class trips to museums? What better place than The Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop for a real educational experience!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

You’re a bit off the mark, BG. Actually it was Gerald Ford who gunned down Lincoln while he was in a phone booth booking theater rickets to “A Shot in the Dark,”

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

Hmmmm. You could be right, Slick, but I thought theater rickets was the disease you get if you spend too much time watching plays and don’t get enough vitamin D….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

BG, you would be a kewl history teacher. I wouldn’t cut your class.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

@Onedoor … I wouldn’t let my kid go to the GFMaDS. Too scary. Don’t touch the doughnuts! Well, maybe jsut one. πŸ˜‰

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

OK, kids! Let’s go! Hop into the BT-69 and buckle your seat belts, we’re ready to go to the museum! :0

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Thank goodness I studied right here in Ohio, where I learned historical facts, and my teachers made it fun, to wit: “In 1493, Columbus sailed the deep blue sea!”

We also learned about Ohio history. For example, Columbus, Ohio is noted for its monkeys; the governor lives there.

But I learned more than just American history. For example, I learned that Zwingli’s followers all smashed their organs!

Hey, education is important. It determines our loot in life!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

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Since its the New Year and the taser has been idle for a very long time… I am gonna re-energise it by tasing Unca and Spin…. you know why!

Blog Guy, is that book published? Can I get a copy?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Uh, Mr B? Did you just use your blog to plug your book?

Anywho, you forgot an important point. While you used true stories for your book, the other guy just made stuff up, which is far more interesting than what really happened.
Accuracy is so over-rated.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Umm.. ok, that zap could have been mis-applied… Apologies…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Gosh Shra, you can’t go zapping innocent people.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Well, she may just slip and make a mistake… its like in minority report… I averted an incident!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

“you can’t go zapping innocent people”.

You may wish to clarify what you mean by innocent – this is the OE blog after all and our motto (well one of them anyway) is ‘Goofy until proven innocent’. Which, from memory, hasn’t happened yet.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

No one is innocent, some people are just more responsible than others.

Thank you for the handy cut out and keep guide to vitamin deficiencies Unca; I’m off for some scurvy curing lemon juice. Diluted with gin. Wouldn’t want to overdo it.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Words fail me..
the shock is too complete..
I didnt tase an innocent gal..
that would be obsolete!

I agree with Nosmo,
We aint no innocents πŸ˜‰
If anything..
we are all only.. different.. πŸ˜€

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

You confessed to teaching… your guilt is reflected in the last line!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

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