Earn a hundred million dollars at home

January 10, 2011


Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer?

What did I do wrong now, Boss?

I sent you out to take a picture of a hundred million-dollar Gaugin painting and there’s a woman in the shot!

gaugin 340She’s my girlfriend. She likes to be in news photos, and let’s face it. Without her, it’s just a bunch of dead flowers.

Johnson! You didn’t think a painting that is supposed to sell for $114,000,000 to $169,000,000 can stand alone in a photograph?

I’m just jerking your chain, Boss. Actually, we’re not allowed to to shoot copy-quality close-up images of artworks, because of copyright laws.

See, if we did that, folks would be able to paint their own, and then the art market would be flooded with hundred million dollar paintings, and everybody would be rich, and nobody would ever work again, and we’d all starve to death.

Ah. When you explain it like that, it makes sense. Tell your girlfriend thanks for helping to save mankind.

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An employee poses for photographers in front of artist Paul Gaugin’s “Sunflower” at Christie’s auction house in London January 7, 2011. Christie’s pre-sale estimate for the 46 lots of its impressionist and modern art sale on February 9, 2011 is from 73,880,000 to 109,060,000 pounds ($114,630,000 to $169,216,000). REUTERS/Stefan Wermuth

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Posted by Tweets that mention Earn a hundred million dollars at home | Analysis & Opinion | — Topsy.com | Report as abusive

Havent we been through this before…?
Why do I have deja vu?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I don’t understand art at all. What makes that painting worth what it is? It’s flowers with a dude floating on a cloud above them, that’s all it is! I just don’t get it.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Shra: We have deja vu’s because deja vus because we like to see things twice see things twice 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

My 8 year old paints better than that! Anybody have a contact number at Christie’s?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Robert, I believe the public is better served if you fire Johnson, who appears to have an IQ, and bring Lamar back from the latrine cleaning section of reuters. Alright, mankind could not be saved, but our expenditure on doughnuts would not take the lift upstairs!

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Johnsons girl looks like Ann Coulter. At least from the side.

And I have been thinking. If copyright laws were so worried about people painting a copy of a $1M+ painting then one of two things must be true; 1)There is nobody capable of detecting fraud in the world of art or 2)If there would be so many people able to pass their work off as a $1M+ painting then the orignal must not have taken that must skill in the first place which begs my original question of what makes it worth over a million dollars?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Spin, so you are to say that if a student of art who was extensively talented came along and painted that picture in as exact a replica as one could get without actually being the original artist it would not be worth 1M+ because it’s not a Paul Gauguin? So I must ask this, why then are copyrite laws worried about other people painting that picture if only one by Paul Gauguin would be valuable? Call it a Paul Gauguin, it’s a million, call it a replica it’s near worthless right? What if I did paint that exact picture in the same style but instead of a dude on a cloud in a corner I painted a dude on a waterfall. It’s a totally different, original painting right? (Since you can’t copyrite the idea of painting flowers I presume) So then could my painting be worth a $1M?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

I sense a serious debate here… Is that allowed, BG?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Oh, I think it’s harmless enough Shra. If a few readers want to go out and earn a hundred million dollars each, I’m not going to stop them.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Oh, I dont mind them earning that much either BG… its just that these two are getting into serious discussions that should be discouraged in a humor blog… dontcha think?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Shra, nah.. for the most part the only time I am serious about anything is mostly when I am sleeping.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Spin, the only debate on doughnuts would be how you managed to get more sprinkles than I. I suspect a bit of favoritism towards the females around here. Hmm…

Now here is the thing. I did attempt to venture into a $1M series of art creations. The way I figred it if Jackson Pollock got be so famous for doing nothing but splattering paint haphazzardly onto a canvas then surely my pieces of which I entitled “Random Scribbles on a Mead 5-Star While Bored In Class” should bring in a fair sum. I was quite puzzled to learn that there was no market for such work however. Jackson Pollock paint splatters worth a fortune, my scribbles in a notebook worth nothing. Can you explain that one my dear Spin?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Not to give anything away, but I’m going to have a follow-up to explain this to all of you tomorrow. Watch for it.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Mr. B. some clarification on the matter wouldbe greatly appreciated. I look forward to tomorrows blog!

@Spin, I am ze arteeest, I shall not lower myself to marketing! My work should be appreciated for the masterpieces they are, I should not have to advirtise like my art is some common household item. Hrrumph.

Although getting a leggy blonde woman does sound like a good idea.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Spin, in reference to doing the GTL thing I believe your comment should have been “if you want to get famous regardless of the fact you have no talent whatsoever and are doing nothing productive for society (and no, calling yourself by your nickname every 5th word does not count)…”

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Spin, I’m Ifly and I would have to say they think that about anything they saw cause I am Ifly and that’ my comment. I’m Ifly.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive