Are you high yet? Snort some more…
Welcome back to our regular feature, Human Remains in the News.
It seems burglars tried snorting the cremated remains of a man and two dogs, taken from a Florida home, in the mistaken belief that the ashes were drugs.
I swear I am not making this up. The ashes were stolen a month ago, along with some other stuff, and police learned about the snorting this week when they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt.
The most amazing thing is, this was only the week’s SECOND BEST story involving human remains.
The best story involved a monk caught at an airport with the remains of a nun in his baggage.
How did Mr. Smooth explain his unusual cargo? He said the remains belonged to a saint.
You know, you sort of have to admire a guy who can think that fast on his feet, especially since it turned out the nun he was carrying died only four years ago.
I’m just glad most professional criminals can’t think that quickly.
Just a minute, officer, do you have a warrant to dig up my back yard? Oh, you do?
Well, I should warn you that I’m quite a devout believer, and I have many saints buried back there, so be careful.
Some of them have only been dead for a few days, and…Hey! I said, watch it! That one there is Saint Jimmy Hoffa, so show a little respect!
Right: An art installation featuring skeletons is seen at an altar assembled by artists for Day of the Dead celebrations at Zocalo’s square in Mexico City October 29, 2010. REUTERS/Eliana Aponte
Left: Family members of Swedish screen star Greta Garbo cradle the urn containing her ashes in a 1999 file photo.