Who’s your crawdaddy now?
You get a line and I’II get a pole,
And we’ll go down to the Crawdad hole,
Honey, sugar baby, mine,
Blog Guy, you look preoccupied. What are you doing?
If you must know, I’m pounding out my next million dollar screenplay for Hollywood. It’s a science fiction story, ripped from today’s headlines.
Wow! Where did you get the idea for it?
I ripped it from today’s headlines, stupid. Scientists have found a “new species of giant crayfish” in Tennessee. The story says this thing is “huge.”
What’s the plot?
The plot? Have you never seen a monster movie?
The scientists leave the enormous thing in their lab, it grows to 60 feet tall, it eats the night janitor, crushes police cars in its giant claw, they force it into a bubbling hot springs, it ends up in a huge crawdad étouffée. I’m calling it “The Crustacean that Crushed Chattanooga.”
Um, Blog Guy, I hate to burst your pathetic bubble, but this story goes on to say the “giant crayfish” is only five inches long. It’s only huge compared with other crayfish.
You think there will be a sequel?
Nah, I have bigger fish to fry.
A new species of giant crayfish, named Barbicambarus simmonsi, found in Tennessee, is pictured here in this image released to Reuters January 20, 2011. REUTERS/Carl Williams/Handout
Food Network personality Paula Deen laughs before throwing out the first pitch prior to the Washington Nationals versus New York Mets MLB baseball game in Washington, May 19, 2010. REUTERS/Gary Cameron