Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Who’s your crawdaddy now?
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You get a line and I’II get a pole,
And we’ll go down to the Crawdad hole,
Honey, sugar baby, mine,
Blog Guy, you look preoccupied. What are you doing?
If you must know, I’m pounding out my next million dollar screenplay for Hollywood. It’s a science fiction story, ripped from today’s headlines.
Wow! Where did you get the idea for it?
I ripped it from today’s headlines, stupid. Scientists have found a “new species of giant crayfish” in Tennessee. The story says this thing is “huge.”
What’s the plot?
The plot? Have you never seen a monster movie?
The scientists leave the enormous thing in their lab, it grows to 60 feet tall, it eats the night janitor, crushes police cars in its giant claw, they force it into a bubbling hot springs, it ends up in a huge crawdad étouffée. I’m calling it “The Crustacean that Crushed Chattanooga.”
Um, Blog Guy, I hate to burst your pathetic bubble, but this story goes on to say the “giant crayfish” is only five inches long. It’s only huge compared with other crayfish.
Five inches? Really? Crap. Oh well, the Food Network will still buy it. Get ready for “Paula Deen’s Jumbo Gumbo.”
You think there will be a sequel?
Nah, I have bigger fish to fry.
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A new species of giant crayfish, named Barbicambarus simmonsi, found in Tennessee, is pictured here in this image released to Reuters January 20, 2011. REUTERS/Carl Williams/Handout
Food Network personality Paula Deen laughs before throwing out the first pitch prior to the Washington Nationals versus New York Mets MLB baseball game in Washington, May 19, 2010. REUTERS/Gary Cameron
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Once upon a time there was a crayfish..
The other crays thought, she was quite the dish..
She enjoyed the attention…
And had quite the disposition!
The one day, some speccy geeks,
creeped up in her neck of the creek…
They spotted this giant beauty..
and said, “Man, she sure has some booty!”
Etouffee, or not etouffee, that is the question.
Would the crawdad be nobler in wine?
Does wine enhance the dining experience,
Or the memory that lives Hmong those in your heart?
“The Crustacean that Crushed Chattanooga.”? Now that’s a movie I’d pay to see! Eat your heart out Godzilla!
E.
Mmmmmmmm, bugs. I’m a big fan of them in my gumbo, and in etouffee.
@Shra – crawdad booty? Now there’s an interesting thought, but the visual demands donuts – lots of sprinkles.
Paula Deen is laughing cause she knows even before she throws out the first pitch she has already struck out three Mets batters.
Darn Mr B. You have usurped my blockbuster movie script. Mine was about a large edible Australian crustacean, unleashed on the unsuspecting East Coast of America.
It’s called the Morton Bay Bug that Munched Manhattan, and was written to have Russell Crowe headline as either the plucky hero, or the bug, or maybe both.
Well, I guess I’ll just have to finish off my next script, Attack of the Mutant Zombie Poutine – when cheese curds go REALLY bad.
They named the crawdad Barbi?
I want to see all three movies! Can the OE Bloggers work as extras?
Are the holes in Swiss cheese the result of curdish Zombie attacks?
Ohhhh can I be credited as “Guy Who Falls Off Boat #16″?
I want to be one of the zombies…
@Spin: The limerick is wonderful, and, oh, I just can’t make a comment:)
Hmm…. this could be the first time I saw “five inches” and “huge” used in a serious sentence without any irony or sarcasm! Impressive!
Yeah, you would find a lot of that kinda stuff here, Malt…
We are nothing but odd AND impressive…
Well, Spin leads the way on that…
You took being odd in the OE way, didnt you, Spinny?
Wait, that’s not what I read. I thought it was supposed to take place at a fancy restaurant in San Francisco, called the Top of the Marc….