News, but not the serious kind
Now, the new hit TV series, “Luger Town”
Blog Guy, we’re a whole month into 2011 and you haven’t spotted any new signs of that onrushing Apocalypse. Does that mean we’re out of the woods?
Far from it. I’ve just seen a very serious sign, but it’s so disturbing I’m still in shock.
Damn. Guess I can stop planning for my retirement. What was the latest sign?
According to a Reuters story, Adolf Hitler’s last surviving bodyguard, who is 93, says he can no longer respond to the deluge of fan mail from autograph-seekers, because of his age.
Well look, I’d like to think this old fart is just delusional. Maybe he’s mistaking junk mail from the University of Wisconsin Alumni Association for “fan mail,” which I myself have done.
But if it’s really true that anybody on earth wants the autograph of a dumbass who protected Hitler, that doesn’t bode well.
Let’s face it. This boob could have done humanity a huge favor just by picking up a heavy lug wrench during a private moment with Hitler, but he didn’t bother.
Or he could have said, “Everyone come quickly! Der Führer has choked to death on an oily rag, and I couldn’t stop him!”
But there’s even more. Our story says the guy was also Hitler’s telephone operator.
Couldn’t he have been like, “Guten Morgen, your call is very important to us. If you have top secret information for Der Führer, hang up now and call President Roosevelt…”
Would that have been too much to ask?
Top: Rochus Misch, who worked as a courier, bodyguard and telephone operator for Adolf Hitler, speaks during an interview with Reuters in Berlin August 8, 2007.
Left: A waxwork of Adolf Hitler on the opening day of Berlin’s Madame Tussauds, July 5, 2008.
Right: Misch shows his picture book.
REUTERS photos by Tobias Schwarz