Look chic when it’s a jungle out there!
Blog Guy, I’m a woman who likes to look her best at all times. I have an irrational fear of being caught out in the jungle, without my luggage, and no way to accessorize my outfit.
My psychiatrist said you might be able to do something.
Yes, help is available. Many women share this fear. You are not alone.
I strongly recommend a six-week jungle survival fashion course, called “Going Rogue, But Staying Vogue.”
When you graduate from this character-building exercise, you’ll be able to go into a dense jungle half-naked, and come out looking great.
You’ll make stunning hats from sticks and twigs, and you will learn to fashion a purse from a mud dauber nest of live wasps, as seen above.
You will even turn military combat boots into traffic-stopping footwear.
Wow! That’s for me, Blog Guy! But what if I don’t have combat boots to work with?
Not to worry. With only a bayonet, you can carve stylish open-toed shoes just like the ones on the left, from solid jungle teak.
That’s great! Any other fashion survival advice for me?
Yeah. Don’t put your car keys in that wasp nest purse.
Top and right: Models present creations from Samuel Cirnansck’s collection during Sao Paulo Fashion Week Winter 2011 in Sao Paulo January 28, 2011.
Left: A model presents a creation from Tufi Duek’s collection during Sao Paulo Fashion Week.
REUTERS photos by Paulo Whitaker