Look chic when it’s a jungle out there!

February 3, 2011

fashion survival combo 490

Blog Guy, I’m a woman who likes to look her best at all times. I have an irrational fear of being caught out in the jungle, without my luggage, and no way to accessorize my outfit.

fashion survival boots 300My psychiatrist said you might be able to do something.

Yes, help is available. Many women share this fear. You are not alone.

I strongly recommend a six-week jungle survival fashion course, called “Going Rogue, But Staying Vogue.”

When you graduate from this character-building exercise, you’ll be able to go into a dense jungle half-naked, and come out looking great.

You’ll make stunning hats from sticks and twigs, and you will learn to fashion a purse from a mud dauber nest of live wasps, as seen above.

fashion survival wood 200You will even turn military combat boots into traffic-stopping footwear.

Wow! That’s for me, Blog Guy! But what if I don’t have combat boots to work with?

Not to worry. With only a bayonet, you can carve stylish open-toed shoes just like the ones on the left, from solid jungle teak.

That’s great! Any other fashion survival advice for me?

Yeah. Don’t put your car keys in that wasp nest purse.

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Top and right: Models present creations from Samuel Cirnansck’s collection during Sao Paulo Fashion Week Winter 2011 in Sao Paulo January 28, 2011.

Left: A model presents a creation from Tufi Duek’s collection during Sao Paulo Fashion Week.

REUTERS photos by Paulo Whitaker

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18 comments

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the jungle calls…
Oh, its gonna be a ball!
I shall look my best,
Holding a wasp’s nest…
I am gonna wear my solid teak clogs
And I am sure that I shall be mentioned on THE blog..
Jungle men shall flaunt me..
I think that’s gonna haunt me…
I wish I could stop this limerick..
If only I could get my head out of this hat o’ sticks!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Looks like the teak shinguards slipped down to her ankle.

Hey, I thought I was your only therapy patient! Now I have to wait for the fashionistas to finish their appointments? I’ll try not to draw on the waiting room walls as I wait…

@Doc: Picasso would have thought me very creative had he ever seen my wardrobe:) He’d have liked that both my eyes are on the same side, too.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Oddly Enough and eBusiness BPO Inc., cabun. cabun said: [Oddly] Look chic when it’s a jungle out there! http://reut.rs/eZTutr [...]

Oh, and of course…
Shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooeeesss!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Why go into the jungle only half naked though? Is it too chilly out to remove the fig leaf?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Onedoor, good comparison of those teak shoes to shinguards…the shape’s exactly the same! hehe

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@Shra’s happy :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Yeah, but I’m guessing she’ll find something to complain about before long…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Que, moi???
Nonnn!!!!!!!

Bien que, les orteils du modèle comparer écrasée…..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Malteser: teaknically speaking, they might be a bit short for shinguards BUT WE DON’T KNOW THAT! I get zapped by enough lightning that I don’t need to entice the Wrath of Shra on us.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I like how she turned her parachute into a dress to go with her formal combat boots.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I will confess to owning a dress
and a pair of impractical shoes;
but the thought of teak restraints on my feet
would lead to a case of the (black and) blues.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Well, if the economy continues in this downturn path, we will all be wearing branches to guard from the upcoming summer heat and using bird nests as purses… LOL!

Posted by JAnn319 | Report as abusive

As modelled by Twiggy.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

That’s my sister! (After she’s been out playing in the yard.)

@Unca … thanks for the snippy sniper notes! :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

That’s a terrific article, kind of insane though don’t you think? haha. The one in the first picture is insane, how can you even wear that? What’s wrong with these people? Fashion is such a tremendously terrible and stupid genre, haha.

Sincerely,
The Glaring Facts
http://www.theglaringfacts.com

Posted by theglaringfacts | Report as abusive

Thanks, Unca. We supermodels of the world really appreciate your understanding of our career challenges.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Was that a passing act, glaring facts?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Now you are thinking like those fashion designers, Spin… get outta that place!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive