Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The key to a great Valentine?

February 14, 2011

locks shoes 490

Blog Guy, I really need your help with a relationship problem. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend is stepping out on me.

fashion locks vertical 220Stepping out?

Yeah. You know what I mean…

Oh. Jeez, can’t you try one of our other blogs written by smarter people? Like Faithworld or Felix Salmon?

No. So anyway, here’s a photo of her new shoes, which she wore when she left the house yesterday.

Those are just very stylish. They don’t prove anything.

Yeah? It was 8 a.m. and she was going to the store for cigarettes.

Your girlfriend wears shoes like that AND she smokes? Sorry pal, you may really have a problem.

I recommend you buy her one of these outfits from the recent Barcelona Fashion Show. Lots of personal security locks, if you take my meaning.

fashion locks crop 260 Thanks for the advice. I’ll give it to her as a Valentine’s Day gift tonight, while we have our evening cocktails.

Wait. Your girlfriend wears shoes like that AND smokes AND drinks cocktails AND fools around? Is she on Facebook?

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Top: A model presents a creation from the Cynthia Rowley Fall/Winter 2011 collection during New York Fashion Week February 11, 2011.  REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

Right and left: A model presents a creation from the Schipper/Arques collection at the Barcelona Fashion Show, February 2, 2011. REUTERS/Albert Gea

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Comments

Blog Guy, I have told you this before, and I will say it again.. with more feeling this time…
I loveee ya!!!!!
Man, I could stare at those shoes for a very long time…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Well, it certainly isn’t the key to her heart! No wonder she smokes and drinks. Getting the Acme Chastity Suit as a Valentine present would certainly put a damper on those lovin’ feelings. Not to mention it could put a damper on her day if she needed to use the loo and misplaced a key…

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Whoa, a chastity garment with seven padlocks.
Good luck getting through airport security with that.
I guess the pat-down option would be out of the question?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive
 

I offer a beginner’s haiku…Did I get the syllables right?

“Curvaceous model,
but she’s locked behind padlocks…
Could not find the keys!”

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
 

Now the time has come
Jump on the haiku wagon
Even though I suck

Lines for Valentine’s
Skanky cheater shoes
Inappropriate

Locks on a hoo-ha
Put the key in and turn it
Where’s the CLP?

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive
 

@Shra – those shoes are pretty awesome, though I wouldn’t want to wear them more than about ten minutes! (Maybe cheating in those shoes is an extra bonus…I don’t think they’d stay on very long :) – or if they did, standing may not be necessary :)).

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive
 

Really think that a stainless steel one would be better, http://www.lockedinsteel.com

Posted by Jill1976 | Report as abusive
 

You should have your girlfriend toss the cigarette habit and do 100 push-ups before 7am so she’s ready to head to the job with muscle tone and adreneline by 8 am.

Posted by gmarcTexAtty | Report as abusive
 

@gmarc: welcome back to the blog:) If his girlfriend really is cheating, he should toss the girlfriend and her cigarettes, have a doughnut and smile all the way to work.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

I pity her if she needed an emergency bathroom break!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive
 

I like the outfit, but those shoes make my toes hurt just looking at them.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

Chastity belt has been replaced by “locks of zombies”. hmmm :-|

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 

I cant help but notice that one of the locks is directly attached to a zip on the front of the outfit….

I have no idea what to make of it….

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

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