Flouting the health warnings?

February 15, 2011

frozen lips 490

Blog Guy, congratulate me. I just enlisted in the military. I’m a flute player, so I’m guaranteed a gig in a marching band.

No shooting, just fluting?

Durned tooting!

flute 320That’s great. So which branch of the service did you join? Army? Air Force?

Nah, my buddy Lamar and I joined Japan’s Self-Defense Force. We think the food will be better.

Wait a second. Japan Self-Defense Force? They play outdoors at the Sapporo Snow Festival!

Isn’t your flute made of metal? Haven’t you seen all the health warnings about putting your lips and tongue on frozen poles and things?

Every year, we have brutal photos of those poor musicians stumbling around with their freezing instruments hanging from stretched and swollen lips until the spring thaw comes.

Uh-oh. Do NOT tell Lamar about this!

Why?

He plays the tuba!

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A member of Japan’s Self-Defense Forces performs in the snow in front of a snow sculpture resembling an owl during an opening ceremony of the 62nd Sapporo snow festival in Sapporo, on Japan’s northern island of Hokkaido, February 7, 2011.  REUTERS/ Yuriko Nakao

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9 comments

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After reading, I am just wondering what thoughts would be going through that poor chap’s mind…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Lonnie and Lamar didnt know what they were doing…
When they went to the Self-Defense Forces for enroling..
They thought the grub was good..
But they should have listened to those inmates, they should..
They were left out in the snow..
With instruments to blow…
They got theirs lips stuck…
And didnt make that quick buck…
And now they can eat no more…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Fwd, he wasnt thinking anything… his thinking capabilitis were being sucked out right from the back of his brain by those giant black eyes…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by robert basler, Oddly Enough and Simon Ghost Riley, cabun. cabun said: [Oddly] Flouting the health warnings? http://reut.rs/dUZVQg [...]

Japan’s Self Defense and Lip Enhancement Force. No expensive injections needed. You carry the tune, Lamar will carry the tuba. For days…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Sapporo is a good beer. Makes for good sake bombs.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Flutes can be lethal weapons. Saw it in a 007 movie. Good looking Russian spy lady floutist shoots a poison dart from her flute, misses James Bond and kills the poor extra standing next to him. :-O

Shra … be careful where you point that taser, you may hit my sister.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Is that a frown I see on the owl’s face? Is he frowning at the bad playing or at the fact somebody is demented enough to play flute with this kind of weather?

Posted by justM | Report as abusive

Flute guy, whatever you do, DO NOT look behind you.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Hannibal Lecter would make quite a meal out of this fellow, I heard he loves sushi…

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive