You ever try flossing, Catherine?

February 19, 2011

zeta jones 490

“Michael, hold still so I can see myself in your fancy sunglasses. Do I have something between my teeth? I can feel it…”

FASHION-MICHAELKORS/“Ewwwww, Catherine! I told you not to have that spinach quiche for breakfast! Cripes! There’s a huge chunk of green stuff hanging out of your mouth!”

“Shut up! Is this it? Did I get it all?”

“Yeah, you got most of it. Looks like there’s also some gristle wedged in there from that steak you had last night.”

“You got a lot of room to talk, Michael. Get a load of that dandruff all over your sweater. You ever think about using shampoo?”

“Say, are you as turned on as I am right now, Catherine?”

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Actors Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones talk as they attend a showing of the Michael Kors Fall/Winter 2011 collection during New York Fashion Week February 16, 2011.   REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

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Talking? Is that what they are calling it nowadays? Looks like a smooch about to happen to me. I’ve told Michael repeatedly about running around with my woman. This means war! Donut war, that is. Can someone please pass the sprinkles?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

@Dave: you think you need a doughnut now? When you find out he removed the spinach with his tongue, you’ll need a plate full!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Dave – you sound like Rufus T. Firefly! Did Michael call you an upstart? :)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

If this were any other blog I’d ask you to tell the people who Rufus T. Firefly is, but you know…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Don’t be such a Grouch, O Blog Guy!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

if we are living in time when people don’t know about Rufus T. Firefly…well that’s a sure sign of the apocalypse.

Or at least a total lack of appreciation of pure comic genius.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by robert basler, Eva Miranda. Eva Miranda said: You ever try flossing, Catherine?: “Michael, hold still so I can see myself in your fancy sunglasses. Do I have … […]

Posted by Tweets that mention You ever try flossing, Catherine? | Analysis & Opinion | — | Report as abusive

Google to the rescue! Wait, we don’t get tased for using Google do we?

@Dave, in times of war drastic measures must sometimes be taken. If Michael won’t stop fraternizing with your woman you must teach him a lesson he won’t soon forget. You know what you must do. It won’t be pretty but war never is. Dave, let loose your goat on him!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Jeez, I hope you guys haven’t canceled any important weekend plans to make yourselves available to her…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Well, okay, just as long as it doesn’t seem like we’re pathetic…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

You know, CrowGirl lives in Wales. Maybe she can teach us a few lines.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Re Rufus T. Firefly: In this film does Groucho say, “Men, let’s fight for this woman’s honour! (tap cigar, flex eyebrows) It’s more than she ever did”?
I’m keen to know because if I’m right, I’m still successfully staving off dementia.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Oh right. Like you’d be coming to this blog if you had really staved off dementia….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

A most disheartening response, Mr B, but I await more merciful feedback from my blogger-buds. See, I’m so sure, but I gotta know. Otherwise, what the family’s been saying for years is true and I shouldn’t adopt my cat and make him sole beneficiary.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Rufus T firefly does indeed say it in ‘Duck Soup’ (1933)…as well as

“This is a gala day for you.”
“Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don’t think I could handle any more.”


“I’ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

Standing by to be zapped….

Posted by AZGeezer | Report as abusive

Absolutely you should make your cat sole beneficiary Lady!

Mr B, I have a t-shirt that says
“Carwm i aros a sgwrsio, ond yn anffodus celwyddgi cymhellol dw i”. Whenever anyone asks me what it means I tell them something different. Which isn’t a bad joke, if you know what it actually means. Though sadly, Shra’s taser prevents me from telling you.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

“Duck Soup” also featured one of my favorite Groucho lines: Say, you haven’t stopped talking since I got here. You must have been vaccinated wtih a phongraph needle.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@Geezer, Crowgirl, and Georgia: Thanks. Tabby sends her love.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

I don’t get a vote, but I will offer up this blog item from a couple of years ago… 08/01/11/showing-off-his-gaucho-marks/

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

God I am so jealous of Douglas… 😐

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

I am gonna download some Groucho Marx now… thanks for the suggestions….
AZGeezer, welcome to the club (the real one, not the primitive one)… Zapp!

I love how people accept the Zapper… brings tears to my eyes… or maybe its the smoke from the zapper… Never mind…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Just wait, Shra. One day the batteries will run out on your zapper and then, this whole blog will turn into another search engine! BWAAAHHAAAAA!!! (Just ask my friend, Watson.)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive


Bigger and better laugh… proves my point..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Prosecutor: Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes.
Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Prosecutor: No, I’m talking about taxes – money, dollars!
Chicolini: Dollars! There’s-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@Spin69: I believe your question has been answered. Groucho beats Cathy by a long droopy sleeve and a cigar-length.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive