Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
And now, for you smarty-pants kids…
Email 
Print
Okay, publishing staff, I’ll tell you why we called this meeting.
Children’s books aren’t selling as well as they used to. We need to retool them a bit for today’s more sophisticated kids, and for the the dads who do the bedtime reading.
You know, maybe even a tad risqué.
Now, Lamar has been brainstorming this, and he has some ideas for us. Lamar, fill us in….
Well Boss, Everybody likes the “Paddington Bear” books. He’s so cute, with that cute little raincoat and those big boots….
The story has gone as far as it can go in that direction. But what if Paddington has a trampy 21-year-old sister who’s kinda loose with the guys?
See, she dresses like Paddington, except her raincoat and boots and bag are all in bright red, and she’s always sneaking off to mess around with boys she just met.
Very interesting. And what’s the working title of the new book, Lamar?
Are you ready, Boss? “Paddington Bare.”
Very nice, Lamar! Let’s green-light that sucker! Is there anything else in the pipeline for our new Smarty-Pants Kids imprint?
Sure Boss, we’ve updated the ever-popular “Pat the Bunny” book. Now it’s a story about a “Playboy” centerfold.
Sounds great! And the new title?
Oh, we think “Pat the Bunny” will still work fine for that one, Boss.
Join the Oddly Enough blog network
Follow this blog on Twitter at rbasler
Left: A model presents a creation by Blumarine during the Autumn/Winter 2011 women collection show at Milan’s Fashion Week February 25, 2011. REUTERS/Stefano Rellandini
Right: Paddington Bear
Comments RSSPost Your Comment
-
Author Profile
-
If she’s wearing only that…
You sure the creation was by Blumarine? Redmarine would sound more appropriate somehow.
You sure this is a family bog, BG?
What a lovely, cheerful outfit!
fwd: in the Smarty Pants book club, she’d be wearing hot pants…
BG: I really, really don’t want to think about what is on the centerfold of the bunny book for people to touch. In fact, I don’t want to touch the book after someone has, um, read it.
At least Lamar had the foresight to make the trampy sister 21 so it won’t be illegal is there is alcohol involved. And when it comes to trampy sisters there usually is.
“Paddington Bare.”
I weep for fear of being forced to laugh.
@Malt – It sure isn’t aquamarine. But whatever it is, I don’t remember any Marine ever looking quite like that.
So BG, when can I get these books on my Kindle? I’m willing to proofread the drafts if Lamar needs some help. That is – as long as the OEBG is not the source of the illustrations.
I wondered if that came from “Baby Blue Marine.”
Day rate, Spin? Right, like Lamar has ever worked for a whole day…
So, is the updated “Pat the Bunny” going to have the same sort of texture inserts like the original did?
Actually, I just looked through my kids’ copy of Pat the Bunny and I think that with some creative editing, the original textures could still be used. You know, furry, bumpy, rough, slick…
I can see that the original quote “It’s nice having a bear about the house” will have to be updated to “It’s nice to be bare about the house”.
That colour is just the shade of red I am not fond of..
@Shra…course it’s a family blog, I recently posted about Minetti and knee-caps and it got filtered off! Guess it was the context that made all the difference
And anyway – how do you think families came to be, ey? Shall I lay the facts bare for you? In a nutshell, there’s got to be baring to get child bearing. So, bear with me – unless there’s such baring, there can’t be families. So yes – of course it’s a family blog. And of course this blog belongs. Right, BG?
That was very over-bearing of you, Malt…
I just recently finished a college course in Children’s Literature and Lamar’s ideas are not that far off. One rather popular book I found centered on a girl who did not want to marry the well-to-do man her parents wanted her to but instead wanted to become a flapper at the age of 17. So Lamar you really do have a good sense of direction when it comes to Children’s Lit.
Cobalt, shhhh!!! Dont let Lamar hear ya!
Her coat has buttons instead of toggles. Clearly, she’s not really related to Paddington.
And I doubt she eats marmalade sandwiches.
You mean Marmite sandwiches surely,CG?
Ooh! Marmalade sandwiches. I’m particularly fond of lemon marmalade.
Hell, no Shra! Marmite was a brief sell out, he’s got over that now.
Oh! Wrong stuff then, I thought he made Marmite popular… there was even a debate which I heard of once… oh well, maybe I was under the influence of the real meddies than the dough-covered ones…
@Shra: Over-bearing?! I actually only mentioned the bare necessities!
You neednt have laid it out all bare you know, Malt…