Oddly Enough Blog
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Welcome to Brassieres 101, ladies…
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Okay ladies, thank you for coming to the Victoria’s Secret “bra launch” today. We’re sure you will enjoy your new purchases.
You were wise to sign up for this class on how to wear a brassiere, a must for any young woman going out into the world.
OUCH! Who did that? Who flung this bra at me with the elastic? See, that’s not what “bra launch” means, ladies!
Let’s start by taking them out of the package, and… Miss, you in the blue dress? It’s going to go in the front, not the back…
I’m sorry, Ma’am, these are NOT earmuffs. No, they’re not surgical masks, either…
Maybe we should just jump in and everybody try putting them on right now. I’ll be your instructor for the next two hours, and my name is Lamar…
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Victoria’s Secret supermodels pose during the “Incredible by Victoria’s Secret” bra launch in New York March 1, 2011. REUTERS photos by Shannon Stapleton
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Just as much I hate zombies, I absolutely adore VS gals, and the proof is the pictures given here. Thanks, BG
Those dresses are an eyesore…
The caption of the second pic could be “Model demonstrates the durability of the bra by stretching it to its “bursting” point…”
@fwd, high five bro! Woo hoo!
Ahhh…today is gonna be a good day. Thanks Mr. B.!
Mama-Mia! Lamar is one lucky dog. I still think he should be banished to Krasnoryak…
@Shra – dresses? Oh, those, yes, kind of tacky.
Shra – Maybe that caption should read “Model demonstrates the durability of the bra by stretching it to its “BUSTing” point…”?
Bra launching? Lace trebuchet?
If I am going to wear one, I really don’t want it trying to launch its load at an inappropriate time…
somehow Lamar ended up at the casting call for “Dreamgirls 2 – Busting Onto the Scene”
Slingshots?
No, weapon-wise, I prefer to think of them a s Brazookas…
How about the thingys that the cowboys used to twirl around and launch? Imagine the look on some guy’s face when one of those women’s bras wraps around his ankles.
Good one, ineb…
BG, loling on the Brazookas… if only wars could be won with them…
Brazookas! Great one, BG. I feel so much better knowing that I now possess weapons of bra-sh destruction.
Now if the model in the blue dress doesn’t go ahead and marry an effeminate looking actor perhaps she might help me get over Miranda.
“I feel so much better knowing that I now possess weapons of bra-sh destruction.”
not to mention the ability to make ice cream
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/02/24/is-this-the-express-line/
@Unca – they have an animal print kayak??? How stylish!
Unca – That’s awfully close to being educational. Watch out for Shra.
Shra – Re “Brazookas… if only wars could be won with them…”, if the appropriate soldiers are used, merely unholstering the brazooka for use could bring enemy hostilities to a complete halt. (unless you count fighting over the ladies manning them.)
They all wear padded bras? Or is that all VS make?
Crow, I think you’d have to ask Lamar.
@inebgreen: nice turn of phrase, “the ladies manning them”.
Of course they’re all padded. That’s what Victoria’s Secret is!
@shra: I actually like the dresses. Simple, monochromatic, and sparkly.
Otherwise, this reminds me of the joke from an old movie. One sailor sees another sailor moving a box marked, “Brassieres”. The first sailor says, “Are those heavy?” to which the second one replies, “Only when they’re full.”
Our cups runneth over?
I’m glad Lamar was there to take pics (since I couldn’t make it).
Another round of high fives to the guys! Woo hoo!
Anyone got a name for the lady with the blue dress? I wanna fire up Google Images but putting “Hottie VS model in the blue dress in the pic on the OE blog” doesn’t seem to yield any results for some reason. And Google is a multi-million dollar venture. Posh to that.
Such clever retorts…. ah,you make my Sunday fun!
I think — yet again –we are missing the point here. This post is about the travails of today’s teacher. My Lamar has a hard slog of it, as you can see from the clueless charges under his tutelage. It’s impossible for an educator to be hands-on with every student but I’m sure my Lamar tries.
Hmm… if all this happens at Brassieres 101, I wonder what kind of stuff goes on at the more advanced courses, Brassieres 201, 301…etc.
Few guesses:
- How to strap/unstrap bras with one hand only!(Particularly if some zombie cut your hand off with scissors!!)
- The art of matching bra colour to your sparkly dress colour.
- The elastic limit of bra straps (yes they are limited too).
- The ABC(DEF) of bra sizes – where an F is not a Failure and an A is not so great (literally).
- Busting the best bra myths, for instance: can a bra count down the days to your wedding? do man find women wearing bras padded with swarovski diamonds more attractive? etc.
Applications will be available shortly.
ZAP Disclaimer: Some knowledge might be gained from these courses!!
Is the girl in green in the second pic, signalling to someone saying, “Call me”?
Shra, I suspect just walking around in that dress while carrying your bra is pretty much a signal to “Call me.”
I would have thought that is MORE than a signal to “Call her”…
Today, on FML, someone described breasts as “just balls of fat with nerves.” Really. I, for one, would love to hear that person’s description of where babies come from.
Hmm..Doctor… well they’d likely say babies come from “stretchable baby outlets”…
Well duh, everyone knows that babies come from the gooseberry bush where the storks leave them, Doc.
Unca, I don’t know really, never met these fellows. I’m hoping they’d say something like that rather than ‘birds with an elongated neck’…get my drift?
Goodbye my sweet sweet hottie in blue. You have crossed the threshold onto the second page to be slowly drawn away from memory. ===Sigh=== and I didn’t even get to learn your name.