Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Welcome to Brassieres 101, ladies…

March 4, 2011

 

USA/

Okay ladies, thank you for coming to the Victoria’s Secret “bra launch” today. We’re sure you will enjoy your new purchases.

bra launch crop 260You were wise to sign up for this class on how to wear a brassiere, a must for any young woman going out into the world.

OUCH! Who did that? Who flung this bra at me with the elastic? See, that’s not what “bra launch” means, ladies!

Let’s start by taking them out of the package, and… Miss, you in the blue dress? It’s going to go in the front, not the back…

I’m sorry, Ma’am, these are NOT earmuffs. No, they’re not surgical masks, either…

Maybe we should just jump in and everybody try putting them on right now. I’ll be your instructor for the next two hours, and my name is Lamar…

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Victoria’s Secret supermodels pose during the “Incredible by Victoria’s Secret” bra launch in New York March 1, 2011. REUTERS photos by Shannon Stapleton

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Comments

Just as much I hate zombies, I absolutely adore VS gals, and the proof is the pictures given here. Thanks, BG :-)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive
 

Those dresses are an eyesore…

The caption of the second pic could be “Model demonstrates the durability of the bra by stretching it to its “bursting” point…”

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

@fwd, high five bro! Woo hoo! :D

Ahhh…today is gonna be a good day. Thanks Mr. B.!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

Mama-Mia! Lamar is one lucky dog. I still think he should be banished to Krasnoryak…

@Shra – dresses? Oh, those, yes, kind of tacky.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
 

Shra – Maybe that caption should read “Model demonstrates the durability of the bra by stretching it to its “BUSTing” point…”?

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive
 

Bra launching? Lace trebuchet?

If I am going to wear one, I really don’t want it trying to launch its load at an inappropriate time…

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

somehow Lamar ended up at the casting call for “Dreamgirls 2 – Busting Onto the Scene”

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive
 

Slingshots?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

No, weapon-wise, I prefer to think of them a s Brazookas…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

How about the thingys that the cowboys used to twirl around and launch? Imagine the look on some guy’s face when one of those women’s bras wraps around his ankles.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Good one, ineb… :D
BG, loling on the Brazookas… if only wars could be won with them…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Brazookas! Great one, BG. I feel so much better knowing that I now possess weapons of bra-sh destruction.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive
 

Now if the model in the blue dress doesn’t go ahead and marry an effeminate looking actor perhaps she might help me get over Miranda. :D

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

“I feel so much better knowing that I now possess weapons of bra-sh destruction.”

not to mention the ability to make ice cream :D
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/02/24/is-this-the-express-line/

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive
 

@Unca – they have an animal print kayak??? How stylish!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive
 

Unca – That’s awfully close to being educational. Watch out for Shra.

Shra – Re “Brazookas… if only wars could be won with them…”, if the appropriate soldiers are used, merely unholstering the brazooka for use could bring enemy hostilities to a complete halt. (unless you count fighting over the ladies manning them.)

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive
 

They all wear padded bras? Or is that all VS make?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive
 

Crow, I think you’d have to ask Lamar.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

@inebgreen: nice turn of phrase, “the ladies manning them”.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive
 

Of course they’re all padded. That’s what Victoria’s Secret is!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive
 

@shra: I actually like the dresses. Simple, monochromatic, and sparkly.

Otherwise, this reminds me of the joke from an old movie. One sailor sees another sailor moving a box marked, “Brassieres”. The first sailor says, “Are those heavy?” to which the second one replies, “Only when they’re full.”

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive
 

Our cups runneth over? ;)

I’m glad Lamar was there to take pics (since I couldn’t make it).

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive
 

Another round of high fives to the guys! Woo hoo! :)

Anyone got a name for the lady with the blue dress? I wanna fire up Google Images but putting “Hottie VS model in the blue dress in the pic on the OE blog” doesn’t seem to yield any results for some reason. And Google is a multi-million dollar venture. Posh to that.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

Such clever retorts…. ah,you make my Sunday fun!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

I think — yet again –we are missing the point here. This post is about the travails of today’s teacher. My Lamar has a hard slog of it, as you can see from the clueless charges under his tutelage. It’s impossible for an educator to be hands-on with every student but I’m sure my Lamar tries.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive
 

Hmm… if all this happens at Brassieres 101, I wonder what kind of stuff goes on at the more advanced courses, Brassieres 201, 301…etc.

Few guesses:
- How to strap/unstrap bras with one hand only!(Particularly if some zombie cut your hand off with scissors!!)
- The art of matching bra colour to your sparkly dress colour.
- The elastic limit of bra straps (yes they are limited too).
- The ABC(DEF) of bra sizes – where an F is not a Failure and an A is not so great (literally).
- Busting the best bra myths, for instance: can a bra count down the days to your wedding? do man find women wearing bras padded with swarovski diamonds more attractive? etc.

Applications will be available shortly.
ZAP Disclaimer: Some knowledge might be gained from these courses!!

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
 

Is the girl in green in the second pic, signalling to someone saying, “Call me”?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Shra, I suspect just walking around in that dress while carrying your bra is pretty much a signal to “Call me.”

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
 

I would have thought that is MORE than a signal to “Call her”… :D

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
 

Today, on FML, someone described breasts as “just balls of fat with nerves.” Really. I, for one, would love to hear that person’s description of where babies come from.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive
 

Hmm..Doctor… well they’d likely say babies come from “stretchable baby outlets”…

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
 

Well duh, everyone knows that babies come from the gooseberry bush where the storks leave them, Doc.

Posted by knit_nurse | Report as abusive
 

Unca, I don’t know really, never met these fellows. I’m hoping they’d say something like that rather than ‘birds with an elongated neck’…get my drift?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
 

Goodbye my sweet sweet hottie in blue. You have crossed the threshold onto the second page to be slowly drawn away from memory. ===Sigh=== and I didn’t even get to learn your name.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
 

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