Tired of rooting through your purse, girls?

March 21, 2011

invisible purse 490


Okay marketing staff, as you know our regular fashions aren’t selling very well, which is why we’ve started inventing NEW articles of clothing and creating a demand.

see through purse 240You will recall that Lamar designed two such items, the Rube Tube and the Skank Top, which were runaway bestsellers. Lamar, what have you got to follow that up with?

Boss, this is our new purse. It’s slim, it’s sleek….

It’s empty, Lamar! It’s just a wire frame that won’t hold anything.

Exactly, Boss! It’s called the Hold Nothin’.

See, chicks hate when they have to rummage through their purse, or when they drop the thing and their personal junk falls out…. With the Hold Nothin’, those hassles are a thing of the past!

And there’s more! Since it’s see-through, it goes with any color they’re wearing. They don’t have to move stuff around to match a different outfit!

UKRAINE-FASHION/Lamar, I believe you may be the dumbest person on the face of the earth, but let me ask the obvious question, anyway.

Shoot, Boss!

If women DO carry the Hold Nothin,’ then where will they keep their credit cards, cell phones, lipstick, brushes and other crap?

I was waiting for that one, Boss. Allow me to present our whole new line of women’s clothes, The Big Pockets! Look, this first dress even comes with horses to drag the overflow…

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Top and left: Models present creations by designer Vozianov during Ukrainian Fashion Week in Kiev March 17, 2011.

Right: A model presents a creation by Ukrainian designer Elena Burenina during Ukrainian Fashion Week, March 17, 2011.

REUTERS photos by Gleb Garanich

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I think Lamar is brilliant… umm, brilliant among the dumbest category of folks…
and I mean that in the nicest way possible…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

The first artsy non-purse could be used to cut brownies into little squares. Or it could be used to mend the fence around a chicken coop.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Coop rhymes with poop, and that may well be what the bags are full of if the woman walks her two horses in the city.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

When I was a kid, my mom would help me make a “box horse.” A hole was cut in the bottom of the box, and a horse head then drawn on the cut out piece. That was attached to one end of the box. Crayons and imagination drew a tail on the other end and a saddle on the sides. Used to wear it around my waist and rode the neighborhood with one of my friends (also with box horse). Often wondered how goofy I really looked.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

The Hold Nothin’ – as approved for air travel by the TSA.

The Big Pockets, now with self-inflating flotation skirt bags, for those hard water landings.

Both an absolute must for anyone travelling Basler Air.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

And, she’s carrying a horse on her back!

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

Brilliant! Do they make wallets for men?

The second pic looks like OSHA has new regulations for runway models. Air bags in case they fall.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

no need of air bags and other balloons 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

I don’t like these bags, where would I put my wallet, car keys and my mobile phone if it weren’t for my fiance’s handbag?! This is an atrocious attempt to get us men to use our pockets again and NO – I refuse to be drawn into wearing the Big Pockets myself.

Plus, I don’t even like horses. Except on cars.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Ah the woman’s purse. A place of great mystery to men the world over. A very curious item that may hold great wonders yet men dare not explore to find them out for fear of the womans wrath. What is contained in the purse of a woman? Does she harbor the lost city of Atlantis in there? Perhaps Jimmy Hoffas disappearance would be explained? All men know is if we ever needed to some cheery flavored chapstick, some gum, or a tissue, a woman will dig deep into the depths of her purse and produce any item that we may desire. A woman’s purse is the eigth wonder of the world.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Cheery chapstick? Is that the one designed to make you feel happy?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Malt, it surprises me NO end that you trust your fiance with your wallet…are you for REAL???
Mr.Pilot, you are darn right it is… and no matter how small the purse, the woman will ALWAYS fiddle, to search for her keys, or her pass, or her wallet, or her iPod…
Umm… ok, maybe I should stop giving out personal experiences…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Well Shra, wait till you discover we even have joint bank accounts too…course I’m real! 😛

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@Nosmo, yes indeed! It’s best used when the missus drags you out shopping when you would rather be home watching your favorite sporting event and drinking some beers. Simply apply some cheery flavored lipstick and you will no longer feel the anguish of just having kissed your day goodbye.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Are you sure those aren’t shopping bags on the second one? Maybe that’s why her purse is like that – she’s flat broke!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

unca: LOL! I frequently looked goofy. And still do…

Cheery O Chapstick: to kiss chapped lips good by.

ifly: dragging a significant other out shopping? I must be really, really out of touch.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Pockets work for me, I’ve never owned a handbag.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I find that pretty much impossible to believe, Crow…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@CrowGirl, just stick a license plate that reads “My Handbag” on a 4-wheel drive with a two ton(ne) hauling capacity and there ya go. :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

However Mr B, that does not prevent it from being true.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

We need verification, Knit Nurse!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Knit Nurse has never owned a handbag either. She does have a backpack though. I have a JCB shoulder bag for food shopping, but just my trouser pockets for keys and cash and stuff.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Wait. You have cash?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

BG, thats just a plain rude question!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I have a faint hint of cash, but mostly I barter for sausages. Which I deliver. Carrying those around on me would make me look like a tastier version of Lady Gaga.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive