You like ’em runny, honey?

March 22, 2011


Thank you for calling International Department of Festivals, how may we help you?

Well, our little town doesn’t have any kind of an annual festival to attract tourists. We’d like to get in on the action, so I thought I’d check with you to see what’s available.

BOSNIA/I’m afraid the pickings are kind of slim right now. A lot of the better festivals were claimed by other towns hundreds of years ago. We could maybe do a nice Scrambled Egg Festival. That might catch on, huh?

Scrambled Egg Festival? Gosh, that isn’t very sexy. I mean, it won’t attract the macho crowd, like the Running of the Bulls, or the binge drinkers, like the Running of the Bulls, or even the obnoxious dumbasses, like the Running of the Bulls…

Well, it sounds like maybe you should have thought of that before Pamplona did, Mr. Smarty-Pants!

ISRAEL/Please, is there ANYTHING else we can have besides a Scrambled Egg Festival?

That depends. Are you open-minded about mixing different things to make a brand-new festival?

Yes! We are SO open minded! What do you have in mind?

I’ve got two words for you: Religion and comic book heroes. What would you think of a Spider-Man in the Holy Land Festival?

So, how much could we charge for these scrambled eggs anyway?

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Top and left: A man cooks scrambled eggs during celebrations of Cimburijada or “Festival of Scrambled Eggs”, in a city park near Bosna River, in the central Bosnian town of Zenica, March 21, 2011. REUTERS/Dado Ruvic

Right: A man wearing a Spider-Man costume for the Jewish holiday of Purim is seen at the Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest prayer site, in Jerusalem’s Old City, March 20, 2011. REUTERS/Ronen Zvulun

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So I guess we won’t have you writing press releases for the festival…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I like ’em dry, Sly; but the cheese can be gooey, Louie.

Superheroes and cookies do sound like a good combination. Got milk?

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Scrambled eggs are delicious. Scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese on a garlic bagel is the breakfast of champions! 😀

And from the looks of it Spider-man has been indulging a bit himself. Yup Spider-man loves him some scrambled eggs!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

And now, more OE news … Security Team Scrambled to Western Wall. Spider-Man on the scene. Breakfast vendors rioted this morning at the site of the Western Wall in Jerusalem. Recently retired Spider-Man arrives and restores calm.

Sorry, it’s just a yolk! 😉

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

I agree with Spin… when I saw that pic without reading the caption, I thought this was some mediterranean vegetable goulash kinda thing which needs to be eaten in a pita bread…
Then I saw what they were…
heck, I make better scrambled eggs!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

BG is feeling hungry, a rarity 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Oooo – so close with the Scrambled Egg Festival. If only they had gone a bit further and thought of, say, the Scotch Egg Festival, then druken hilarity could have ensued. Or the Egg on Your Face Festival, with many drunken games such as Egg the Politician, Egg Bowling, and the ever-popular Egg Chug-a-lugging.

Oh well, it’s too late now. I guess they’ll just have to look on the sunny side.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Really BG, I think you run this blog only so people can crack yokes.

Posted by ARJTurgot2 | Report as abusive

I’m with Spin on the unattractive-looking “scrambled eggs.” I would not eat those. And I’ve choked down C-rations, K-rations, MCI-rations, and Hostess Twinkies!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Scrambled Puke in a Bucket Festival…no thanks.

Posted by sarabelle | Report as abusive

I think maybe they are so open-minded their brains fell out.

I don’t think that’s the real Spidey – maybe it’s the Zohan, in disguise.

What everyone else said, as far as the “scrambled eggs.” Nasty. Give me donuts or give me death, but please don’t make me eat that stuff.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

OK, just to combine the scrambled egg festival with the Running of the Bulls, try this one:
My brother in law loved his! (once he stopped laughing!)

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Sarabelle: I don’t think that’s a bucket….

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@Doc, you’ve “choked” down Hostess Twinkies, as to imply consuming them was a negative experience for you? Wow, I think you are the first person I know to feel eating Twinkies is not an awesome way to shave time off one’s lifespan!

@Onedoor, “Super heros and cookies” reminds me of a food/super hero combination. Yes, that’s right, the one, the only…….Powdered Toast Man! 😀

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Okay sarabelle, suddenly spin isn’t at the bottom of my list for doing festival publicity. you are….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Looks like a vat of corn pudding to me. Has any place ever held a corn pudding festival? Maybe it’s time.

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

Yes Slick, Washington DC has a lovely corn pudding festival, but it is sadly overshadowed by that cherry blossom thing.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Never thought I’d say this, but those scrambled eggs make poutine look pretty good.

Spin – Maybe we should hold the Donut Festival at some nice central place, like the Nassau Coliseum. Maybe we could combine it with their Beer Festival!

Posted by inebgreen | Report as abusive

@Nosmo: just can’t chug eggs or my floor would look a lot like the scrambled egg photo…

@slick: it doesn’t look like very good corn pudding, either. Wonder if thoses dudes ever eat the stuff they make.

Doughnut Festival!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

I routinely drank raw eggs in college. I’d do that again before I ate the mess in the top pic.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Sure, play hard to get, Doc, but don’t come crying to me when the festival tickets are sold out…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

They’re not really very scrambled, those eggs. What with being obviously white and yolk…

Blog Guy, if I can persuade my boss to let me try and make the world’s biggest pork pie; will you write an article on it?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I’ll have to think about it, Crow. I like to help loyal readers, but my position on those so-called “pies” is well known: 11/01/07/great-pie-ma-you-pick-the-kidne ys-yourself/

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

@Spin, considering the Nassau Coliseum is home to the Islanders any event held there that’s not a hockey game is a step up so I think inebgreen’s idea is a good one. :)

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Homer Simpson Festival a.k.a Goofy Face Doughnut Festival,
where you can drink all you want, eat all you want, and make any number of goofy faces you want!!!
Its a W-I-N-N-I-N-G!!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

BG to Mgmt. Re the blog entry from @jclimacus

This appears to be a blatant infringement of copyright, do you think they can sueus?

Posted by ARJTurgot2 | Report as abusive

Spin, I only thought that since BG has “book”ed him, he would want to make an appearance..
and if he gets anywhere near my stash, he is going away on a stretcher with a tases all over him…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@ARJTurgot2: “sueus”. Had to read it twice. Clever.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Spin, I would do that ONLY if he gets anywhere near my stash…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

No, I like ’em Crusty, Rusty! But seriously, I think they have the wrong focus… after looking at that thing, I think the contest could have been “Guess What This Substance Is”.

Possible answers that come to mind are…
toxic waste
candy corn hit by dynamite
my mind on drugs
my mind on a normal day
pre-cooked Chicken McNuggets
Earl, meet Ralph

Posted by flamenquito | Report as abusive