A walk in the park with an obvious narc?

March 27, 2011

decoy 490

Blog Guy, you used to blog a lot about the new fashions for police decoys, those guys who try to look like such tempting targets that criminals can’t resist going after them. But you haven’t shown us the new stuff for ages.

decoy fashions vertical 240You’re right. I used to cover all the big decoy fashion trade shows. “Snare Wear,” “Con Com,” “Hook ’em and Book ’em…”

Then what happened?

Oh, I just got back from this year’s big decoy show, “Lure Couture,” in Kiev, and the hot new designs areΒ  just so effective it’s taken all the challenge out of it for the decoys. I mean, look at this dude here. Heck, I thought about robbing him myself!

He looks kind of angry.

That’s because all the other decoys just held him up backstage.

So he’s mad because they took everything?

No, he’s mad because after looking in the mirror, he was even planning to rob himself.

Wait. You said the “Lure Couture” show was in Kiev? I’m sure I read it was going to be in Las Vegas.

No, the Vegas show was just a decoy…

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Modes present creations by Ukrainian designer Elena Burenina during Ukrainian Fashion Week in Kiev March 17, 2011. REUTERS/Gleb Garanich

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Donate now to the Ukranian Thread Fund. With enough thread, the designers will be able to stitch the legs in their designs and the men can wear pants once again.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Just amazing that they made his bag out of styrofoam cups. Not only can they catch the criminals, they can do on the spot drug testing.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

“Here’s a hat to wear.”

“wait, here’s some more crap to go on top of the hat.”

“And here’s a big over-sized scarf to wrap around your neck, along with some raggedy glove-type things for your hands. It’s cold out there, ya know?”

“Big boots, nice wool knitted kilt sort-of thing for your skirt.”

“That should about do it.”

“What? Sleeves? No way buster, suck it up!”

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Street Fighter meets Chia Pet.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Somebody enlighten me. These models must have some kind of mantra to psych themselves up for a serious attitude on the runway.
“I’m a hot nomad and I’m new in town.”
“Ok, parked my camel. Now for some serious carpet sales.”

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

There’s something wrong with combat boots?!

But there is something wrong when male models have curvier hips than female models…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

I’m not sure this is a man at all–check all those curves and bumps. She/he is probably ticked off because she/he was forced to wear his grandmother’s afghan as a hat (with ropes entwined in it)–the decoy has fallen into decay.

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

What are those grimey things on his hands supposed to be? Is he afraid of getting a blister?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Methinks he’s angry because he’s not a model at all, he’s the water boy. He’s trying to offer the guests a drink of water gathered from the purest springs in the poorest depths of Africa, in an eco-chic, unbleached paper cup, dispensed from a vegan plant-fibre satchel – but they just keep smiling and applauding him.

Posted by Wyvie | Report as abusive

yeah…I love a guy in a long pencil skirt…NOT!

come on, BG! The guys get leggy gals in lovely peep toe wedges http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/03/24/going-out-on-a-limb-for-readers  / and scantily clad Queen of the Entire World hopefuls http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/03/16/give-us-a-big-smile-your-majest y/ and chics in leather pants and bathing suit tops http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/03/15/finally-a-job-for-you-bikers/ (those are some killer boots in pic #2 on that one…black boots with red stiletto heels. AWESOME!)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

what do your loyal lady readers get? In addition to this whackadoodle, chain smoking soldiers on ugly furniture http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/03/16/divan-intervention-in-libya/ and a scruffy guy with a Julia Roberts addiction http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/03/10/ive-got-you-under-my-skin/

you know, I may just find a better blog! Where the guys are Mr. Fab Abs and they have nice, muscular legs…kind of like http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/03/19/okay-whos-got-my-pajama-top/

ok, BG. You’ve been redeemed :)

Join the OE Blog Network…eventually you find something here you like!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I do not like your fashion line
I would not wear that even if I was drunk on wine
I would not wear that here or there
I would not wear that anywhere!

Would you wear it to the park?
Would you wear it to meet a narc?

I would not wear that to the park!
I would not wear that to meet a narc!
I would not wear that any time
I say your clothing is far from sublime.

Would you wear it in a different hue?
Could you wear it if I paid you?

I would not wear it in red, blue, or green!
I could not wear it…don’t you understand what I mean???
I would not wear it no matter what you paid
It’s not even right for a San Fran Halloween parade!

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@Georgia: love the lyrics! Hot and mean! Just need a hint as to the melody so I can get hip-hoppin! You got me feelin’ so with it!

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

With the requisite guys at the fashion show trying to cop a feel with the models, doing that and feeling a cop has got to be disconcerting.

And that wasn’t the long arm of the law you found when doing it, either.

Posted by flamenquito | Report as abusive

You know after seeing some really gorgeous looking people over the weekend… I can understand why this “guy” would wear what he wore…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

nomadic zombie 😐

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

I think the real reason he looks ticked off is that someone pointed out that the dress makes him look fat, makes his butt look big and his legs look short.

I can’t work out if that’s a bag or a set of bagpipes he’s carrying on his shoulder.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Forget the model guys, check the lady in the black boots in the top photo! :) BG, thanks for the hidden pandering! πŸ˜›

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Yeah, that’s probably true Spin (Re: models behind Mr. Skirt), but they’d likely be zombies! The one in the audience, on the other hand, looks a little bit more curvacious to me! And THAT’s the way a lady should be… in my book at least.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Pretty boots, right, Malt? πŸ˜‰
And Spin, I think you got that bang on!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Shra, you’d surely like the boots more than this William Wallace wannabe.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

I would actually prefer William Wallace to this “dude”.. πŸ˜›

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Well Wallace had swords not cups on his back. That makes a big difference, ey?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@GeorgiaPeach, so you won’t wear it snow or rain? You won’t wear it again and again? Is that what you are sayin?

@fwd079, looks well fed for a nomadic zombie. That’s a bit troubling.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

[…] Guy, you’ve written a lot about police decoys in the past. I guess they have to be highly skilled to do that job, […]

Posted by Meet the worst police decoy ever? | Oddly Enough Blog | Report as abusive