Those cute ears will make a great trophy!

March 30, 2011

SPAIN/

What’s up, Blog Guy? You look concerned about something.

I am. I just saw these photos of two panda cubs born in Spain.

SPAIN/They’re adorable! What’s wrong with that?

Did you miss the part where I said they are in SPAIN, the place where poor creatures are slowly tortured to death before slobbering, bloodthirsty crowds?

Besides bullfighting, this is the home of the running of the bulls, the fiery “purification of the horses” and similar traditions too numerous to mention.

Why couldn’t these poor pandas have been born someplace safer, like Libya or Somalia?

I would bet that right now, behind closed doors at the Ministry of Animal Torment, in Madrid, they’re putting the finishing touches on the new sport of Panda Fighting, and designing a line of sissy outfits for “El Pandadors.”

OMG you’re right, Blog Guy. Now I’m worried, too. Is there anything we can do to stop them?

SPAIN/Yes. I’m putting together a team to parachute in, rescue the cubs, make our way to the Mediterranean and sail the pandas to safety on a special boat being built to my specifications. Who’s with me on this?

I am! What’s our boat made of, Blog Guy?

Sturdy, dependable bamboo.

Uh, Blog Guy?

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Top and right: Spanish Queen Sofia poses with twin pandas at the Madrid Zoo & Aquarium, March 29, 2011. The pandas were born on September 7, 2010. REUTERS/Andrea Comas

Left: Spanish bullfighter Jose Tomas raises his arms with the bull ears trophy during a bullfight at the Monumental Bullring in Barcelona, September 27, 2009. REUTERS/Marti Fradera

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11 comments

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How come this post hasn’t attracted a raft of comments yet? The Bamboo part is excellent! ;)

And one more thing, when the Pandadors are finished with their torture, they’d likely sell the panda remains to these fellows:
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 10/12/08/bamboozle-small-pandas-for-a-li ving/

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

“El Pandadors.”, bravo Mr. B., bravo. :D

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Rather than parachuting, Mr. B, this mission calls for Nightstalking!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/160th_Speci al_Operations_Aviation_Regiment_(United_ States)

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Don’t frett too much for the pandas. The moment after the second picture was taken Queen Sofia was unfortunately forced to continue hearing the world with only one ear. Then after she jumped up in pain she immediately fell forward as her shoelaces had somehow been tied together.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Methinks the Queen is about to be overcome by panda cuteness.

@Doc – those guys…. well, let’s just say I don’t see them as big fans of cute pandas.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

They may surprise you, Dave. The men I served with are always surprising me. And nobody surprises me more than I do!

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Photographic evidence of the impending Pandapocalypse! Just look at those two members of the Panda Resistance Corps (PRC). First they’re all cute and cuddly, then the next thing you know one holds your feed while the other one rips your face off! They’re obviously targeting world leaders in an attempt to destabilize the economy and corner the bamboo export market!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Nice, Jazz, nice. Cute, cuddly, carnage. The panda’s do have white fur vs. white hats but, that enough evidence for me to make the conspiracy link.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Pandamodium AD: to aid your digestive system after eating too much bamboo.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Pandas!!! Sorry couldnt comment yesterday, coz had a few problems with the machine…
The cute cuddly panda bears… that was my first ever soft toy, a mother bear holding her cub with a velcro strap for paws…
I dont believe anything happened to Queen Sophia… she could actually be in a panda suit right now… ;)

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Queen S is testing out panda slippers…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive