Come over to my yard for a fling?
Man, I love it when true stuff is stranger than anything I could make up for my blog. I mean, it’s like having a day off.
So I’m looking at an e-mail from the Pottery Barn folks, and down below the duvet covers and patchwork quilts I see something called Safety Recall Information. It informs me the chain is recalling a hammock stand.
This concerns me because of course I spend most of my days in a hammock, swaying back and forth in the sunshine and writing my blog.
It turns out, the wood used in the stand may break, “if left outdoors.”
I suppose that’s a relief for you who only use your hammocks in your living room, but for us yard people, it’s a disaster.
Anybody who has ever watched Looney Toons knows exactly what happens when one end of a tightly-stretched hammock snaps suddenly.
The recall warning doesn’t say how many users already have been flung, or where they finally came down, but I can picture suburban dads hurtling to and fro like Navy Volkswagens.
Remaining as still as possible, I fumble with trembling fingers for the switch on my Pottery Barn floor lamp, to read more about the hammock stand recall, and…
Hey, wait a minute! This very lamp is being recalled, too, because it poses “a risk of electrical shock.”
I’m a dead man…
Top: A man lying in a hammock reads the Bible while waiting for customers at his watermelon stall in the Managua market, June 3, 2008. REUTERS/Oswaldo Rivas
Left: Hammock stand recall notice
Right: Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. President George W. Bush walk past a hammock as they exit their summit meeting and head to a joint news availability at the Bush family home on Walker’s Point in Kennebunkport, Maine, July 2, 2007. REUTERS/Jim Bourg