Name your poison, folks…

April 7, 2011


Good evening, folks, welcome to Snake & Shake, home of the Sssssssssizzling Cobra Burger! I’ll be your server tonight. Have you decided what you want?

Yes. My wife will have the broiled lobster, please.

INDONESIA/Very good choice. Please walk on over to that tank and select your lobster, ma’am…

And, for me, I think I’ll try the Sssssssizzling Cobra Burger! That’s made with 100 percent fresh cobra meat, right?

It sure is, sir.  Now if you’ll just step into that glass booth filled with slithering cobras, you can select the snake you want and bring it out.

Hold on. I have to catch a live cobra, myself?

You didn’t think WE were going to do it, did you, sir? Here’s your forked stick and your burlap bag.

Now, wait just a frickin’ minute! I can SEE several other guys just lying on the floor of that booth, totally still. What’s up with them?

I suppose they’re just making a careful selection, sir. I’ll be right back with your milkshakes….

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Top: A customer eats a cobra meat burger at a Chinese restaurant in the ancient city of Yogyakarta, Indonesia, April 1, 2011. Snake hunters catch about 1,000 cobras from Yogyakarta, Central Java and East Java provinces each week to harvest their meat for burgers, priced at 10,000 rupiah ($1.15) each, as well as satay and other dishes.

A worker holds a Cobra before killing it for its meat.

REUTERS photo by Dwi Oblo

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The bun is twice the size of the burger! Now for $1.15 of course I would not expect a quarter-pounder with cheese but still, at least advertise it as a slider or something.

I had rattlesnake when I was in Loozyanna once. It was pretty good.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Do you sssserve fries with the burger pleassssse?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

No sirree… i will stick to my chicken… and malt, at least mine def come with fries…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

C’mon, Spin. What else would they be doing with all those cobras? Wait…what’s that hissing noise?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Pfft….Here in Texas, gators and rattlesnakes are just appetizers. We pick our teeth with the bones of lesser creatures.

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

Snakes on a bun sell
better than Snakes on a Plane.
Hold the special sauce

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

Aha – so that’s what they mean by ‘A bite to eat’.
Hmm, I am suspicious that the ‘special sauce’ may actually turn out to be snake venom.

Years ago, I was staying just outside Cairo in a run-down hotel. Outside there sat a mostly blind man with a sign that said for $1 a day he would ensure there were no snakes in your room. While I was certain that there were not actually any snakes in my room, I was even more certain that if I DIDN’T pay him, that there was a high probability of one being introduced at some point during the evening.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Boa Constrictors are delicious food.

Posted by Baboon | Report as abusive

He looks just like a project manager at my company. No wonder his projects are always on time! :-)

Note to self … no more lunches w/Richard.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Snakes in a bun
Under china sun
I meant no pun!
Really its fun

😀 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

“Call me Snake, Snake Pliskin…..” Who could possibly eat a cuddly cobra?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

A the risk of irritating Shra, I’m going to have to point out it’s Snake Plissken, Dave.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

The logical sequel to “Snakes on a Plane”, it’s “Snakes on a Plate”.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

Why do I feel sorry for the Cobras? I grew up raising steers and chickens, for Pete’s sake. Is it because there is something majestic or noble about the King Cobra?

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

I’m disappoined that cobra isn’t served up all curled round like a Cumberland sausage.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Fang you very much; but, I think I will stick with salad for lunch.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

BG, I have a hunch that Dave was making a reference to the Metal Gear Solid franchise, whose lead character is “Solid Snake” (interpreted by David Hayter, another Dave), and whose genetic father (theres cloning involved, do you even say genetic father?) is “Naked Snake” (yes, Shra, he’s got fab abs). Naked Snake was known as the Snake Eater in one game in particular, whilst Solid Snake once takes the alias of Iroquois Pliskin during a mission. This could explain the spelling by Dave. Or it could all be a coincidence. Or Dave’s Solid Snake himself. Or I’m getting paranoid.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Dear Malty – let the zapping commence.
I will say in my defence, that I learned nothing from your last comment.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Nosmo, I am a bit confused too… so, I am pondering if I should zap Malt or just hissss a warning…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I don’t think there are grounds to zap me there. :) I wasn’t educating anyone – merely explaining what I thought was relevant. I bet I actually confused more readers than actually educated – given the little amount of comments this blog generated. And now for something truly educational…

What? Oh you’re waiting on me?

Forget it 😛 Turn on your TV on nat geo. I’m not up for the zapping.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Spin, as long as they are NOT snake burgers, I am ok with the rest… 😛

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive