News, but not the serious kind
A fresh supply of Kate hits the streets…
Blog Guy, it’s me. One of the junkies you got hooked on Prince William’s fiancée, Kate Middleton.
There’s word going around the streets that a fresh supply of Kate photos has been smuggled in, maybe from Mexico…
It’s true, but they’re too pure. I’m going to have to cut them with something or people will be overdosing in those seedy shooting galleries where the hardcore Kate junkies wait for a fix.
For example, I’m going to tone this one down a bit by shading her with an umbrella.
Oh, that feels SO good. It’s been too long.
Say, can you check out some rumors going around about her?
People say Kate will only talk to intellectuals, and won’t waste her time on stupid people.
I’m afraid that’s right. As you can see here, she carries a tape with her and insists on measuring your skull before she’ll even say hello.
I recall when I was introduced to her, she just laughed at me. True story.
That sounds about right, Blog Guy.
People are also saying that Kate and William have a hot tub shaped like a giant teacup and they relax in it fully clothed.
That’s also true, as you can see here.
Listen, Blog Guy, just hit me with one of those 100 percent pure photos. I can take it. I need it bad.
Okay, you asked for it. Here it is, just pure Kate. Hello? Hello? Damn, that’s just what I was afraid of.
Top: Fiancée of Britain’s Prince William, Kate Middleton, holds an umbrella during a visit to the Darwen Aldridge Community Academy, in Darwen, northern England April 11, 2011. REUTERS/Phil Noble
Right: Kate with a young athlete during a visit to Witton Country Park in Darwen, northern England, April 11, 2011. REUTERS/Darren Staples
Left: Souvenir teabags with depictions of Britain’s Prince William and Kate Middleton are seen in London, April 7, 2011. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett
Lower right: Kate during Witton visit. REUTERS/Alastair Grant/Pool