A fresh supply of Kate hits the streets…

April 11, 2011

BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, it’s me. One of the junkies you got hooked on Prince William’s fiancée, Kate Middleton.

kate tape this 300There’s word going around the streets that a fresh supply of Kate photos has been smuggled in, maybe from Mexico…

It’s true, but they’re too pure. I’m going to have to cut them with something or people will be overdosing in those seedy shooting galleries where the hardcore Kate junkies wait for a fix.

For example, I’m going to tone this one down a bit by shading her with an umbrella.

Oh, that feels SO good. It’s been too long.

Say, can you check out some rumors going around about her?

I’ll try.

BRITAIN-WEDDING/People say Kate will only talk to intellectuals, and won’t waste her time on stupid people.

I’m afraid that’s right. As you can see here, she carries a tape with her and insists on measuring your skull before she’ll even say hello.

I recall when I was introduced to her, she just laughed at me. True story.

That sounds about right, Blog Guy.

BRITAIN-WEDDING/DARWENPeople are also saying that Kate and William have a hot tub shaped like a giant teacup and they relax in it fully clothed.

That’s also true, as you can see here.

Listen, Blog Guy, just hit me with one of those 100 percent pure photos. I can take it. I need it bad.

Okay, you asked for it. Here it is, just pure Kate. Hello? Hello? Damn, that’s just what I was afraid of.

Kate and William photo slideshow

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Top: Fiancée of Britain’s Prince William, Kate Middleton, holds an umbrella during a visit to the Darwen Aldridge Community Academy, in Darwen, northern England April 11, 2011. REUTERS/Phil Noble

Right: Kate with a young athlete during a visit to Witton Country Park in Darwen, northern England, April 11, 2011. REUTERS/Darren Staples

Left: Souvenir teabags with depictions of Britain’s Prince William and Kate Middleton are seen in London, April 7, 2011. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett

Lower right: Kate during Witton visit. REUTERS/Alastair Grant/Pool

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16 comments

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Someone check on fwd079 and skeres in a few just to make sure they are ok.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Why? They never have been in the past….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

I say BG, Royals just are not my cup of tea.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

If I make a tea-bagging joke, will it get past Mr Spam Filter?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

CrowGirl, not a chance…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

she’s so nice…. *dreams*

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Is it ok to say I’ll be glad when the royal couple are finally wed? I am sure Kate is a nice young lady; but for crying out loud – tea bags? If they come out with the royal couple doughnuts, I will switch to brownies or croissants until they are gone!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Thats it, Mr.B, I am adding you to the Kate Fanatics Club…. you can be the head there too…

One, I sure hope these guys get OVER the Royal couple after they wed… next we know, they would be pics of them buying crockery together…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@CowGirl: Leave Kate alone..She’s not your cuppa tea :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

@Onedoor: But I think you’d love the jam in those doughnuts :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

It’s good to see young Kate taking her soon-to-be-Queen-of-England duties seriously, even to the extent of the second photo where she is clearly practising her ‘Off With Your Head’ bit.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@fwd079, did you hear Prince William and Kate have made their last public appearance until the wedding? What are you going to do until then mate?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Hooray! I was just suffering Kate withdrawal.

BTW, @Onedoor: Dunkin Donuts now has a doughnut “designed” for the Royal Wedding. It’s basically their heart-shaped doughnut and it probably has royal icing on it. I just saw it on the TV the other day.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

@Ifly: Don’t worry. BG is kind enough till now and hopefully will provide us with some more stuff, hence enabling me to complete my Kate shrine…

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Yes Ifly, that’s probably exactly what they will do.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Fwd; I have nothing at all against Ms Middleton. I think she’s very pretty, and extremely brave. Wouldn’t want her job for all the shiny kitchen implements in the world.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive