Shermanize me another burger, honey!
Blog Guy, I’ve been a real fan of Williams-Sonoma, that shop for pretentious foodies, ever since I first read about it here. Is their Summer Cookout Catalog out yet?
Yes, and it’s fabulous! I recommend this item at the top, the Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker, $299.99. You can serve up perfect fresh guacamole, while your guests watch with envy!
I LOVE guacamole, but my avocado chunks are always too big.
You can forget about that problem when you say hello to this patented sledge hammer action. Plus, it’s digital!
What other new cookout gadgets are there?
I like The Shermanizer, $369.99, from the Pots ‘n’ Panzer section.
“Don’t just grill your hamburgers, Shermanize them!” This thing uses modern tank technology to rumble right up to your picnic table when the burgers are ready. It stops automatically, usually.
I do enjoy giving cookouts, but what with alcohol poisoning, red meat, bee stings and lightning, some guest always dies and I’m never sure how to handle that.
You need to order the Williams-Sonoma Home Entertainment CSI Kit, 199.99. It’s got your yellow crime scene tape, your spray paint and chalk for outlining the body, even some strong pine-scented candles.
And the candles are for?
In case the police don’t come for a few hours. You’re not the only one having a summer cookout, you know.
Top: Soldiers loyal to Ivory Coast presidential claimant Alassane Ouattara destroy a monument they believed held an evil spell cast by supporters of Laurent Gbagbo on the northern outskirts of the main city Abidjan, April 10, 2011. REUTERS/Emmanuel Braun
Upper right: A tank burns by the roadside after heavy fighting in Ivory Coast’s main city Abidjan, April 5, 2011. REUTERS/Emmanuel Braun
Lower right: An anti-government ”red shirt” protester sprays a red line around a girl as she pretends to be killed at the Democracy Monument in Bangkok April 10, 2011. REUTERS/Damir Sagolj