Oddly Enough Blog
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Shermanize me another burger, honey!
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Blog Guy, I’ve been a real fan of Williams-Sonoma, that shop for pretentious foodies, ever since I first read about it here. Is their Summer Cookout Catalog out yet?
Yes, and it’s fabulous! I recommend this item at the top, the Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker, $299.99. You can serve up perfect fresh guacamole, while your guests watch with envy!
I LOVE guacamole, but my avocado chunks are always too big.
You can forget about that problem when you say hello to this patented sledge hammer action. Plus, it’s digital!
What other new cookout gadgets are there?
I like The Shermanizer, $369.99, from the Pots ‘n’ Panzer section.
“Don’t just grill your hamburgers, Shermanize them!” This thing uses modern tank technology to rumble right up to your picnic table when the burgers are ready. It stops automatically, usually.
I do enjoy giving cookouts, but what with alcohol poisoning, red meat, bee stings and lightning, some guest always dies and I’m never sure how to handle that.
You need to order the Williams-Sonoma Home Entertainment CSI Kit, 199.99. It’s got your yellow crime scene tape, your spray paint and chalk for outlining the body, even some strong pine-scented candles.
And the candles are for?
In case the police don’t come for a few hours. You’re not the only one having a summer cookout, you know.
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Top: Soldiers loyal to Ivory Coast presidential claimant Alassane Ouattara destroy a monument they believed held an evil spell cast by supporters of Laurent Gbagbo on the northern outskirts of the main city Abidjan, April 10, 2011. REUTERS/Emmanuel Braun
Upper right: A tank burns by the roadside after heavy fighting in Ivory Coast’s main city Abidjan, April 5, 2011. REUTERS/Emmanuel Braun
Lower right: An anti-government ”red shirt” protester sprays a red line around a girl as she pretends to be killed at the Democracy Monument in Bangkok April 10, 2011. REUTERS/Damir Sagolj
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There you go again, pandering to the boys showing them a pair of legs…
The shoes are ok…
I am not clear on the product description for the Shermanizer.
“This thing uses modern tank technology to rumble right up to your picnic table when the burgers are ready.”
Is that to say it serves your food? Does it roll up to your table, point it’s cannon at you, and tell you if you don’t finish your broccoli you don’t get any pudding? Or to continue living for that matter? Does it dispense Grey Poupon? I just need a bit more description of the product before I decide to buy.
I do like though how it can convert to a bonfire to make s’mores with though.
@Shra, he’s showing you strong men swinging a sledge hammer. You can go to any county fair in small-town USA and find guys doing the same thing to impress the ladies!
Oh get real, ifly… Williams-Sonoma specialty appliances only do one thing each. You’re going to have to shell out extra for a Williams-Sonoma Mustard Dispenser, $149.99…
“Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order?”
“Yeah, I’ll take a double quarter pounder, and can you Shermanize it please?”
Now you see I would have thought that the Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker would have been more expensive, as it is compact and fully portable.
The Shermaniser, well not so much, and it appears to be a single-use item, i.e. disposable (sort of).
Gotta say if your soldiers are freaked out by a stone monument as it may contain an evil spell, they probably aren’t going to do so well when confronted with something more challenging, like girl cooties, for example.
It’s hard to find good quality minions these days.
I wonder if Williams Sonoma sell them?
@Shra: No Shra, not even legs are any good, loved the tank though
The Shermanizer
is the perfect way to say:
“The party’s over!”
When I lived in Germany years ago, my nickname among my German friends was “Panzer.” I was not altogether flattered by this, since a German relative of mine, a war criminal, had the same nickname. I did not share that with my German friends.
Who knew you could cast evil spells in concrete?
The folks in the top photo must work for the highway department – one guy working and 7 others “supervising”. Even a couple of lookie-lou’s.
When does County Fair season start?
@Spin: no, no those clouds are rolling OUT. This is PROOF there was a spell in that monument!
Though it was also keeping the tigers away, so they might not be so glad they destroyed it after all.
I think they just released the Vampire Woman from that monument. I’d run, if I were them!
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/04/12/let-the-nightmares-begin/
I’m not normally bothered by tattoos; but the Vampire Woman is a bit much. I’ll sit on the bench for a while, with a doughnut.
Yeah, I see how that can impress the ladies… hmm.. but really no one liked those legs in pic#3?
All this time I thought I was seeing kids writing their initials in wet concrete. Now I know they were really miniature witches casting spells! I wonder if we could get some of them to leave their hands in some quick dry cement for a few minutes?
Shra: a man using a sledge hammer is ok; but a man using his brain is sexier any day of the week. And if he can do both? With a smile? Oooooooh!
@Onedoor, you’re asking for a lot from us men! Using my shriveled, pea-like brain, swinging a sledge hammer, and smiling? All at once? Sheesh!
1st Pic:
Ironic isn’t it: one of the members of the crowd watching has a top that reads – hard rock. I bet the one with the sledgehammer’s saying to himself the same phrase!
Pic 3: Judging by the outline, I wouldn’t have guessed the person on the floor was this lady… I’d likely say it was the Michelin mascot or something.
http://edukates.files.wordpress.com/2010 /06/michelin-man.jpg
@Jib: OK, ditch the hammer and keep the smile:)
Think I will let this one pass Malt.. all coz my arms feel just as heavy as that sledgehammer-weilding mister…
yes but edukate is mispelt. Mispelt is probably misspelt too. One of them at least. So I don’t think it’s edukational anyways.
Nice dodge Malteser!