Shermanize me another burger, honey!

April 12, 2011

williams sonoma 490

Blog Guy, I’ve been a real fan of Williams-Sonoma, that shop for pretentious foodies, ever since I first read about it here. Is their Summer Cookout Catalog out yet?

Yes, and it’s fabulous! I recommend this item at the top, the Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker, $299.99. You can serve up perfect fresh guacamole, while your guests watch with envy!

IVORY COASTI LOVE guacamole, but my avocado chunks are always too big.

You can forget about that problem when you say hello to this patented sledge hammer action. Plus, it’s digital!

What other new cookout gadgets are there?

I like The Shermanizer, $369.99, from the Pots ‘n’ Panzer section.

“Don’t just grill your hamburgers, Shermanize them!” This thing uses modern tank technology to rumble right up to your picnic table when the burgers are ready. It stops automatically, usually.

THAILAND/ I do enjoy giving cookouts, but what with alcohol poisoning, red meat, bee stings and lightning, some guest always dies and I’m never sure how to handle that.

You need to order the Williams-Sonoma Home Entertainment CSI Kit, 199.99. It’s got your yellow crime scene tape, your spray paint and chalk for outlining the body, even some strong pine-scented candles.

And the candles are for?

In case the police don’t come for a few hours. You’re not the only one having a summer cookout, you know.

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Top: Soldiers loyal to Ivory Coast presidential claimant Alassane Ouattara destroy a monument they believed held an evil spell cast by supporters of Laurent Gbagbo on the northern outskirts of the main city Abidjan, April 10, 2011. REUTERS/Emmanuel Braun

Upper right: A tank burns by the roadside after heavy fighting in Ivory Coast’s main city Abidjan, April 5, 2011. REUTERS/Emmanuel Braun

Lower right: An anti-government ”red shirt” protester sprays a red line around a girl as she pretends to be killed at the Democracy Monument in Bangkok April 10, 2011. REUTERS/Damir Sagolj

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There you go again, pandering to the boys showing them a pair of legs…
The shoes are ok…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I am not clear on the product description for the Shermanizer.

“This thing uses modern tank technology to rumble right up to your picnic table when the burgers are ready.”

Is that to say it serves your food? Does it roll up to your table, point it’s cannon at you, and tell you if you don’t finish your broccoli you don’t get any pudding? Or to continue living for that matter? Does it dispense Grey Poupon? I just need a bit more description of the product before I decide to buy.

I do like though how it can convert to a bonfire to make s’mores with though. 😀

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@Shra, he’s showing you strong men swinging a sledge hammer. You can go to any county fair in small-town USA and find guys doing the same thing to impress the ladies! :-)

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

Oh get real, ifly… Williams-Sonoma specialty appliances only do one thing each. You’re going to have to shell out extra for a Williams-Sonoma Mustard Dispenser, $149.99…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

“Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a double quarter pounder, and can you Shermanize it please?”

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

Now you see I would have thought that the Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker would have been more expensive, as it is compact and fully portable.
The Shermaniser, well not so much, and it appears to be a single-use item, i.e. disposable (sort of).

Gotta say if your soldiers are freaked out by a stone monument as it may contain an evil spell, they probably aren’t going to do so well when confronted with something more challenging, like girl cooties, for example.
It’s hard to find good quality minions these days.
I wonder if Williams Sonoma sell them?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@Shra: No Shra, not even legs are any good, loved the tank though 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

The Shermanizer
is the perfect way to say:
“The party’s over!”

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

When I lived in Germany years ago, my nickname among my German friends was “Panzer.” I was not altogether flattered by this, since a German relative of mine, a war criminal, had the same nickname. I did not share that with my German friends.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Who knew you could cast evil spells in concrete?

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

The folks in the top photo must work for the highway department – one guy working and 7 others “supervising”. Even a couple of lookie-lou’s.

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

When does County Fair season start? :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@Spin: no, no those clouds are rolling OUT. This is PROOF there was a spell in that monument!

Though it was also keeping the tigers away, so they might not be so glad they destroyed it after all.

Posted by Carne | Report as abusive

I think they just released the Vampire Woman from that monument. I’d run, if I were them! 11/04/12/let-the-nightmares-begin/

I’m not normally bothered by tattoos; but the Vampire Woman is a bit much. I’ll sit on the bench for a while, with a doughnut.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Yeah, I see how that can impress the ladies… hmm.. but really no one liked those legs in pic#3?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

All this time I thought I was seeing kids writing their initials in wet concrete. Now I know they were really miniature witches casting spells! I wonder if we could get some of them to leave their hands in some quick dry cement for a few minutes?

Shra: a man using a sledge hammer is ok; but a man using his brain is sexier any day of the week. And if he can do both? With a smile? Oooooooh!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@Onedoor, you’re asking for a lot from us men! Using my shriveled, pea-like brain, swinging a sledge hammer, and smiling? All at once? Sheesh!

Posted by Jibberish | Report as abusive

1st Pic:
Ironic isn’t it: one of the members of the crowd watching has a top that reads – hard rock. I bet the one with the sledgehammer’s saying to himself the same phrase!

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Pic 3: Judging by the outline, I wouldn’t have guessed the person on the floor was this lady… I’d likely say it was the Michelin mascot or something.  /06/michelin-man.jpg

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@Jib: OK, ditch the hammer and keep the smile:)

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Think I will let this one pass Malt.. all coz my arms feel just as heavy as that sledgehammer-weilding mister…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

yes but edukate is mispelt. Mispelt is probably misspelt too. One of them at least. So I don’t think it’s edukational anyways.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Nice dodge Malteser!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

[…] You’ve written before about those specialty kitchen gadgets they sell, but this price seems really […]

Posted by For the foodie who has everything… | Oddly Enough Blog | Report as abusive