Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Karaoke, or torture? There’s a difference?
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Hey Blog Guy, I haven’t seen you around the neighborhood for days. Are you okay?
Yes, thanks for checking. I don’t go out during National Karaoke Week, which is going on now.
If you don’t like karaoke, why not just avoid places where they have it? Like bars, lounges and the ninth circle of hell?
That’s not enough. During National Karaoke Week there are horrific stories of innocent, decent folks being dragged off the street and forced into Karaoke places.
Wow! I didn’t know that. Are there any precautions that we, as average citizens, can take to protect ourselves?
Well, I personally have had the songs “Country Roads” and “Feelings” surgically removed from my memory. It was expensive, but worth it. I also clamp a couple of heavy-duty binder clips onto my lips after one alcoholic beverage.
Thanks, Blog Guy, those are valuable tips for all of us. Can you imagine anything worse than having to sing karaoke?
Yes, having to LISTEN to people sing it. That’s why I blast both of my eardrums directly with a foghorn for 30 seconds every morning during Karaoke Week. You can’t be too careful.
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Top: Tourists cycle as they drink beer and sing karaoke on a beer bike in Amsterdam June 12, 2009. The beer bike is a mobile, pedal-powered bar. REUTERS/Robin van Lonkhuijsen/United Photos
Right: Chinese architect Kwong Yusheng sings karaoke style, as the lips of a mechanical head of American author Mark Twain move in sync, at an exihibition displaying goods used in amusement parks in a 1997 photo. REUTERS
Right: A man sings in a local karaoke club during a night out in Shanghai February 23, 2008. REUTERS/Nir Elias
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I would sing My Heart Will Go On …. that would ensure that I am torturing everyone around me… Mwahahaha (evil witch’s laugh)
Folks, I bring great news.
The ‘For Dummies’ guys have released their new book, The Royal Wedding – For Dummies
http://www.dummies.com/store/product/The -Royal-Wedding-For-Dummies.productCd-111 997030X.html
@Shra, I call your My Heart Will Go On and raise you an Ice Ice Baby.
Dave don’t sing. No worries BG, we can just hang out at the bar and drink ourselves deaf.
Dave and BG, shove over so there’s more room for us non-singers at the bar. Oh, and have some earplugs – I bought plenty.
When my son was five, he asked me why I didn’t sing in church. My response: “Well, you got your singers, and you got your hummers. And I’m no singer.”
Whatever happened to drunk driving slogans?
I’m concerned BG – a professional journalist avoiding bars for a full week.
Dave, is that homage to “Apocalypse Now?”
Aren’t hummers at church what started the whole controversy to begin with?
Come on guys join the game. On the table we got a My Heart Will Go On raised with an Ice Ice Baby. Anyone daring enough to throw in an Informer?
Dave if you get yourself drunk enough will you slur out a Rebecca Black Friday for us?
Now Doc, if I answered that, I’d be opening myself up to a zap. My tender skin doesn’t do so well with 50,000 volts.
Drunks on a bike sing
karaoke along with
talking heads. Zap ‘em!
I find it oddly appropriate that National Karaoke Week corresponds with National Scoop the Poop week!
http://www.answers.com/topic/national-sc oop-the-poop-week
You think general karaoke is bad, BG?
I just returned from AnimeBoston. They had a room dedicated to karaoke. Not a surprise, considering it’s the largest festival celebrating Japanese animation, art and pop culture in New England.
No, here’s the kicker: all the songs were in Japanese!
Or at least take out a temporary restraining order…
@Spin: I didn’t sing. I’m lucky if I can remember words to the English lyrics of Yu Yu Hakusho.
Karaoke in the shower
Karaoke in the car
Don’t want no karaoke
If I’m going to the bar.
I thought a Hummer was a small vintage HD. They have those in church? Cool.
Used to call hummingbirds hummers, too.
Very nice, Onedoor…
according to one of my favorite books, the all time WORST song to inflict on others is In The Year 2525 (referred to as the ultimate retaliation song). If you don’t want to be quite that harsh, Honey by Bobby Goldsboro is the next choice.
(the book is Dave Barry’s second novel, “Tricky Business”. I highly recommend it. The funniest novel I have ever read.)
@Jazz, how in the world did you find out it is National Scoop the Poop week? Was there yet another memo I failed to get? lol
@GeorgiaP – It’s “No More ‘Stairway to Heaven’!”
@IFly – Pooper Scoopers actually have a national association. Must have interesting conventions, ya think?
@Moon – for me, it would be Free Bird. OMG how I hate that song!!! (yes, I was born in the south and have lived here all my life. But I am so sick of that song. Love Lynyrd Skynrd’s other music, but NO MORE FREE BIRD E V E R) Stairway to Heaven would be 2nd worst on my list.
@iFly – it takes lots of Soju and an all-nighter in Songtan, Korea, but I have been guilty of ear torture. However, that was long ago and it was far away, and things were so much better than they seem today. Nowadays, I’m better off (as is everyone around me) sitting on the bench with earplugs in.
Mr.Pilot, I see your Ice Ice Baby and raise you a Bryan Adams, “Everything I do” …
Beat that, mister!!
I surely will try Shra. I will counter your Bryan Adams with Eddie Murphy’s “Party All The Time”!
Ahem! *COUGH*
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, I do believe? I got my very scholarly paper declined in Jr High for using ‘Mark Twain’ in the titling thereof.
@Moonshine, do you think just for fun their snacks consist of melted Snickers bars?
@Dave, I completely understand. Four Red Devils had me belting out Meatloaf at a company Christmas party a couple of years ago. It’s a wonder I still have a job.
I am gonna get right back at you with, Abba’s “Mamma Mia”, Mr.Pilot…
Do I know the world’s coolest karaoke songs or what!!!
“Mamma Mia”? Whoah, there is going to be some recovery time needed after that one. :p
My work here is done.
Damn you Shraaaaaaaa, damn you straight to…. oh wait, isn’t there another blog for movie quotes? :p
2nd Caption… “you can leave your HEAD on…” nanana nana na!
I obviously meant 2nd photo.
and now..first pic..is it only me or does that chick singing look a bit like Ms. Middleton…another lookalike, perhaps?
It’s only you, Malt….
So, that’s a single Malt?
Doctor…seems so!
Pity it’s a beer bar!