I’ve got your back, Renee…

May 6, 2011

Hey Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my haberdasher’s fishmonger?

Oh sure, even when I’m on vacation, which I am now, I’m always happy to take time out to settle bets with folks from randomly obscure professions.

Great, thanks! So we were wondering, who has the most deformed back in the history of entertainment?

She says it’s Quasimodo,  from “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,”  but I think it’s the actress, Renee Zelwigger.

You win that one, hands down. I mean, just look at this photo.  I don’t even know what some of those bones are called.

OMG, I’m going to be sick! That’s even worse than I’ve heard! But isn’t there some chance that’s a front shot, and she just has that dress on backwards?

I suppose so. But if that’s the case, then she must have the most flexible neck on earth, not to mention fairly bad fashion instincts.

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Actress Renee Zellweger poses on arrival at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty, in New York, May 2, 2011. REUTERS/Mike Segar

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That’s called a “pose”? Poor thing, looks like she survived a shark attack. Why is her skin all sparkly? Is she one of those new-fangled vampires?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

And there is no way on earth, you can make me believe that those things sticking out are mugs.
Why, if those were mugs, then Mr.Pilot would faint!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

The poor dear appears to be scrunching her shoulders together in an effort to stop her dress, or is that lingerie, from falling off altogether.
At least there does seem to have been any surgical alterations anyplace – it’s all original material. A fact that I greatly appreciate.

Just a question – where do we think the OE Blog guy would go on his vacation? Would that be somewhere wacky, or would he want to get away from that and go somewhere eithere serious, boring, or both?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Dear Renee Zellweger,
What. The. Hell. Is. That.
Warmest Regards,
Mr. Pilot

@Shra, seriously! I am gonna have to revisit every VS blog just to get the image out of my mind now!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

My personal favorite for bad back is Eye-gor from Young Frankenstein.

“I’m a surgeon; I can help you with that hump.”

“What hump?”

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

Dear Renee Zellweger,
You might want to hop in the fridge for a touch, your back is melting.
Mr. Pilot

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

The funny thing about being a size zero, bad back, bad front eh… doesn’t matter much. In this case she or it (pod person)from pluto may be here as a guide for blog guy, could explain the shiny skin.(defintely not a gray)

Posted by Wheelz2 | Report as abusive

Mr B said that he had Renees back. Would it be too hard to return it now? And there’s nothing wrong with budding angels wings, almost ready to break on through, is there?

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

I would love to see the front of the dress as it looks like incredibly fine lace work!

Will give Renee the benefit of thinking she is standing with one foot higher than the other and a bit twisted.

Then again, I have had two glasses of wine tonight and may be a bit twisted myself!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

BG is going to see Pluto? Is the man at Disneyland? Do they have decent doughnuts there? Heck, he could have stayed here if he wanted Goofy!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Heck, BG had Donald here, too!

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

It looks as though she has a long standing shoulder injury. It is not her back but her right scapula (shoulder blade) and shoulder which sustained the injury. Nothing chiropractic can’t fix if the ligaments and nerves are intact.

Posted by aynrand0926 | Report as abusive

Skeres, I know exactly what you are talking about… laugh my lungs out everytime I see that movie and Gene Wilder!
One, have a doughnut… wine’s not good for you.. have vodka instead! 😀

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I diagnose “lack of mirror at home” syndrome.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

My back is sunburnt, and my hands are dirty.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

If she had the most flexible neck on earth, she would know what her back looked like in the dress.

Posted by poppyrich | Report as abusive