Beach Blanket? Bingo!

May 11, 2011

Blog Guy, summer is almost here, and once again we’re faced with that annual problem. You know the one.  

You put on an unsightly 200 pounds over the winter and you’re embarrassed to be seen in a swimsuit?

No! The problem is, when I go to the beach I have to take a blanket and keep track of it and everything, and it’s such a hassle I just stay home and feel sorry for myself.

Ah. Then help is on the way, with this new combo swimsuit and beach blanket. The space-age design Lets you lounge on the beach and soak up the sun, and then take it with you when you run into the water.

That would totally solve my problem! But how do I get to the beach with this thing?

Easy. You sit on your sunroof and steer with your feet.

Wow! They’ve thought of everything. But wait, if I wear it into the ocean, then how do I save my spot on the beach, and keep my books and stuff off the sand?

That’s the most ingenius part. This garment comes with an extra beach blanket to leave behind when you go into the water.

Blog Guy, for about four seconds that explanation actually made sense to me. Could your blog be making your readers stupider?

I can’t make promises, but I’m certainly doing my best.

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A model presents a creation by designer Agatha Ruiz de la Prada during the Cibeles Madrid Fashion Week Fall/Winter 2011 show, February 19, 2011.  REUTERS/Susana Vera

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Hmmmm, skinny as she is, I mistook her for part of the beach blanket. Not a bad marketing approach, actually.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

horizontal stripes??? At the beach? You’re kidding, right?

are zombies okay in the sun? Looks like this one missed the area around her eyes when applying sunscreen.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

what is that on her head? It looks like either a fake scuba mask or a tray for carrying some refreshing beverages.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

You know, I could really use an outfit like that at the office, for those times when I am overcome by tiredness and really need a nap.
Ok let’s be honest, that’s most of the time when I’m at the office.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

If only I could see the shoes/slippers/sandals that went along with this outfit…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@Spin: perhaps they’re X-Ray glasses, so she can peek through other bathing suits to see if someone’s got an extra towel. Because you always need your towel.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

BG, I can see that your alleged vacation is not giving you and Lamar much repose or airing out your brains.

The photo caption just calls the model’s costume a “creation.” So maybe you can wear it anywhere, not just to the beach. But how do you ride a crowded bus? Or get past people’s knees into a movie seat. Or down the aisle of a plane? On the other hand, people would just clear a path out of fear when they see you coming …

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

Slick, you’re right. I don’t relax well. But Lamar is doing much better.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

One thing I see – she does not look happy wearing that ridiculious thing.

Posted by vwgal | Report as abusive

I wonder what happened to the rest of the sock monkey after they made that thing on her head?

I’m guessing this designer is a fan of the movie Videodrome.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

Eco-Zombie! Solar panel on her head and multi purpose garment. It’s a blanket, it’s a raft, it could improve her mpg when sitting on the roof of her car in a good wind!

Does look like someone ran over her box of crayons, though.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

She looks like she’s crying. Can’t say as I blame her.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive