Then the queen says to this fishmonger…

May 23, 2011

I say, my good man, are you the local fishmonger?

You’ve come to the right plaice, your majesty. I’m the o-fish-al monger!

Well, I must say, there is a vile odor here!

You smelt something bad? Say, did you come to carp, or are you here just for the halibut? Get it? Halibut? I got a million of ’em!

One gathers you must be some sort of village simpleton, laughing at jokes such as those.

You could be right, your majesty. I’ll mullet over.

Now see here! I am growing very angry!

I’m not doing it on porpoise, your highness. It’s probably just your minnow-pause.

Phillip, please make a note to have this man beheaded…

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Britain’s Queen Elizabeth meets fishmonger Pat O’Connell at the English Market in Cork May 20, 2011. REUTERS/Maxwell’s/POOL

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I imagined the following after HM speaks the last sentence..
She then grabs the nearest salmon and thrusts it right into Mr. O’Connell’s mouth… wiping off her gloved hands on his shirt ofcourse..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

I’m guessing another act he’d pull off is to animate the fish like a ventriloquist would animate his puppets, only he’d just move their mouth…

“Good morning Your Majesty, I’m Feel the Eel! When I grow up I want to be a wall-mounted eel and sing God Save the Eels”

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

All the big mouth bass are in awe of that guy. Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop winner of the month!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Overheard nearby:

“Mum, I see you found the only non-Irish business in the whole city. You’ll feel right at home!”

“So this fishwife walks into a bar…”

“Sorry, mum, my face has been stuck in this rictus since I groped the electric eel”

… and paraphrasing…
“Care for some fish balls, mum?”
“Balls”, said the Queen. “If I had them, I’d be king!”

Posted by flamenquito | Report as abusive

Just noticed your new “author profile” shot, Mr B. Very nice, I must say. So did you really go to clown camp or did you sneak off to “get some work done” like the celebrity crowd?

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Thanks for noticing, Ladylala. I may not be too smart, but putting on new sunglasses doesn’t take me more than a day or two…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Cool, RB is Harrison Ford of the blog world 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

I like how the fish are making goofy faces too. I like BG’s new pic but, my favorite part of his profile is the Whatever in his resume. Hey! My sister worked at the Whatever store in the mall! :-)

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

It looks like the decoration on her hat is made from fish bones and scales, as well as feathers.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Very George Peppard, BG!

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

I’m at a loss for fish puns, Bob. Sorry to disappoint you. I suppose you’ll ban me from ever posting again and demand your autographed books be returned immediately.

By the way…I’m really jonesing for one of those freaking pretzels from the Amish market in Cockeysville…I don’t suppose you’d mail me one….once a week for the rest of my life….. 😀

Posted by justK | Report as abusive

So, none of you commenting got caught up in the rapture either, eh? Anybody know where I can unload a couple gross of handbaskets?

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

JustK, you’re welcome here anytime, with or without fish puns. And thanks for pretending I can actually write my name.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

RB: did you get a new haircut to go with the glasses? Very nice photo.

If the poor man is beheaded, do not order the Fillet O’Fishmonger Sandwich from McDonalds no matter how many fries come with it1

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

@Jazz: loved the comment! Somehow, I don’t think the handbaskets were going up in the rapture. Those people sized handbaskets tend to take the down elevator.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

Hey Mr B, how come no ‘trout pout’ in the vacation snap?
Is there an app for that?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

Another plausible discussion between fishmonger and the queen…

Fishmonger: “Oh, so those are feathers on your hat?? I thought they were lobster claws like these, look! Hahaha..And if I put these claws on mine, we’d be twins! Oh God I’m so funny”…

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

“Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish;
gimme that fish!
Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish;
gimme that fish!”

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

Mr. Fishmonger should have cncealed one of the singing fish in the display. Or, the way he’s laughing, maybe he did! h.htm

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

you’ll all feel bad when you find out his face is stuck like that permanently, can you imagine how his wife feels?!

Posted by Byron5 | Report as abusive

Malt, that reminds me of one of my favourite jokes. :)

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

The fishes apparently have a twin, the Queen herself. Is she trying to imitate them in that first picture?

Posted by beerweasel | Report as abusive

CrowGirl, care to share? :)

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

I’d love to Malt, but it’s kind of a visual gag…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive