For the foodie who has everything…

June 6, 2011

Blog Guy, I have a cooking question. How do you handle the pesky chore of skinning your snakes?

It’s easy, with the Williams-Sonoma Deluxe Snake Skinner, $4,299.99. I recommend the outdoor model.

Yikes! You’ve written before about those specialty kitchen gadgets they sell, but this price seems really steep.

Well, it does come with a deluxe guy who holds one end of the snake in his mouth. That’s not cheap.

Listen, as long as you’re answering questions, how do you dispose of watermelons?

I use the Williams-Sonoma Deluxe Watermelon Goat-erizer, $1,299.99.

That’s a LOT of money. I gather it comes with a goat?

A deluxe goat, yes.

One other thing. Now that summer is here, I need new cornholders. I’m almost afraid to ask…

You guessed it. Williams-Sonoma Deluxe Digital Cornholders, $62,299.99.

Okay, now that’s just ridiculous. How could cornholders cost that much?

They come with a presidential candidate.

Oh. A deluxe one, I suppose?

Do I look like The Fricking Answer Man? Order it and see for yourself.

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Top: Fishermen skin a sea snake belonging to the species which they identified as “kallis” in the Marathi language on the shores of Girgaum beach in Mumbai, June 3, 2011. REUTERS/Danish Siddiqui

Right: A goat eats discarded watermelons after farmers failed to sell them at a farm in La Mojonera, southeastern Spain, June 3, 2011. REUTERS/Francisco Bonilla

Left: Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (L) looks at an ear of a corn during his visit to AgVision Agriculture Software, as CEO Jose Laracuente looks on in Ankeny, Iowa May 27, 2011. REUTERS/Brian C. Frank

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OK, that first pic, definitely made me feel sick.. and though I really dont have any business in Mumbai.. I will add this to my list of NEVER having to do any business in Mumbai…

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

My goat is much better looking.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Of course, the first $50,000 of that corn holder is contributed directly to the Romney campaign…

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

_Who_ exactly is the CEO of AgVision? Is it a sentient piece of paper, a sentient office chair, disguised as a painting on the wall, or invisible? In all cases, it’s looking on very intently.

Posted by grok | Report as abusive

…and I thought my Williams-Sonoma Deluxe Garlic Press was really something.

Posted by Moonshine | Report as abusive

I always thought that ‘skinning a snake’ had a far different meaning…

My bad!

Posted by uncarastus | Report as abusive

Wow, I’m with Shra on this one–will never go near that beach in Mumbai. I hate to think what they do if they skin a cat. Ick.

Posted by slick9 | Report as abusive

They do several things, Slick. It turns out there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

The first pic killed my apatite for today, thanks for help in my efforts to do some dieting, BG 😀

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

When you think about it, $62,299.99 is pretty reasonable for a government contracted digital Z. Mays retainer and nutrition induction enabling device, especially considering the tech development and cost overruns. Of course, you have to order a million of them to get that price…

Posted by AllThatJazz | Report as abusive

You call that a “deluxe” goat? It doesn’t even have horns!

Or, as they’re known in Wales, “Ooh, sheep with handles”.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

@Dave, is that justCAMs goat?

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

C’mon now CrowGirl, a goat without horns is absolutely a deluxe model.

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

I’m just gobsmacked the sheep with handles comment made it past Mr Spam Filter…

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

Mr. Spam Filter trusts you, Crow, and indeed trusts almost everybody in Wales. Should he change his opinion?

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Oh, great, as if I don’t have enough on my conscience.

Posted by CrowGirl | Report as abusive

This is really sick! I can’t imagine biting a live snake while skinning it?

Posted by bllana20 | Report as abusive