Warning: suspect may wear a mullet-proof vest…

June 9, 2011

Okay, how is this guy not in jail yet?

We’ve had several stories about the so-called “Mullet Bandit,” who has robbed four banks in Ohio in the past month.

The guy earned the clever nickname by being a bandit and, well, sporting a classic mullet haircut, short in front but long in the back. Here he is in the top photo.

Before the FBI uses up a lot of valuable computer time cross-referencing “bad hair,” “Ohio” and “dumbass,” could I make a suggestion?

They need to subpoena the sales records from online wig sales businesses, because I know this guy is just wearing a mullet wig.

That is the only explanation. If this were a genuine mullet haircut, assuming he isn’t escaping in a time machine, it would make him one of only six guys in Ohio to wear one.

If that was his real hair, anybody who knows him would have turned him in to the FBI by now, some for the reward, and some just for having the haircut.

Heck, I’ve ratted out several mullet-heads in the past, and I have no regrets at all. It’s a good way to pick up extra spending money.

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Top: A surveillance image released by the FBI shows a man with a mullet and a Seattle Mariners cap at the Fifth Third Bank in Columbus Ohio on May 18, 2011. REUTERS/FBI

Left: Actor David Spade is pictured in an undated publicity photo from his new film “Joe Dirt.” REUTERS

Right: Photos from online wig site

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12 comments

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Ah so is David Spade is back, or am I too late and Joe Dirt is already released? :D

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive

Sorry, about ten years ago, fwd…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Thanks BG, I was having trouble picturising a mullet, without googling it..

He is the Mullet Bandit
At least, he is not wearing spandex
coz that would have been goofy
and he might instead be called Foofy..

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

Mr. B. I don’t think you ratted out mullet-heads in the past I think you rocked the mullet with other mullet-heads in the past. Don’t be ashamed, we are not here to judge!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Mullet wigs?

Two previous posts of tattoos?

And putting down poor Tigger?

I think my brain’s going to explode.

Posted by skeres | Report as abusive

@skeres … take one doughnut and call Doc in the morning.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Life’s a garden, dig it!

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

Spin, I’m turning into a platinum blonde. I’m just a wild and crazy blond out fo ra good time.

I would love to show up for work one day wearing a mullet wig like Spade is wearing. I love to see my secretary and paralegal wipe tears of laughter out of their eyes.

The last time, I came to work in dockers, since I didn’t have to be in court or anywhere. At 12:55, one of my partners, Jim, called and asked me to cover a court hearing at 1:00. I took off my sweater and borrowed a tie from Jim’s office. It matched my trousers and complemented my shirt. Beautiful! And then I put on Jim’s sport coat, a size 40 regular. I wear a 43 tall.

So I win the hearing. I’m in the elevator riding down to leave the courthouse. Giddy as a school boy. A woman in the elevator looks me up and down and stares and stares. I turned to her and say “I’m having a growth spurt.”

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

@69 … How’d you know!?!? My sister was keeping him a secret. He’s not a bad guy. Buys me doughnuts to keep me quiet.

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive

Mr. Pilot: “Mr. B. I don’t think you ratted out mullet-heads in the past I think you rocked the mullet with other mullet-heads in the past. Don’t be ashamed, we are not here to judge!”

BG…please, please, please share that photo. If you email it to me, I promise I won’t send it to everybody in my address book or post it on Facebook or anything like that. Trust me :)

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@Doctor… you have me grinning in my office chair right now. Classic “growth spurt” comment lol :)

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

@RB: thanks, geez that was long ago then.. :-)

Posted by fwd079 | Report as abusive