Where DO you find all those arms and legs, Ma?

June 19, 2011

Let me make sure I understand this, Lamar. You say your mother can supply us with a steady supply of free models for our fashion shows?

That’s it in a nutshell, Boss.

Where will she get them?

She makes ’em herself, Boss. Ma’s pretty good with tools, and she has a supply of used body parts, but don’t ask her where they come from.

And she can put these parts together and make male and female models?

You bet, Boss. Ma used to do some modeling herself, before her teeth and eyes went bad on her and she started to shrink some.

So how much do we have to pay your mother?

Oh, just buy her a big bottle of creme de menthe and call it even. Ma LOVES a couple of grasshoppers before dinner.

I wonder why none of this surprises me, Lamar?

YO! MA! Don’t worry too much about that model’s skanky back, nobody looks at those! Concentrate on her front!

I don’t know about this, Lamar. Half-human models with ugly backs, stitched together from used body parts by a short woman with metal teeth. Something doesn’t seem right, but I can’t put my finger on it.

WHAT’S THAT, MA? Boss, Ma wants to know if all the models need to have two eyes?

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Top: A model has her clothes repaired before walking down the runway for Osklen’s Summer 2012 collection show at Sao Paulo Fashion week in Sao Paulo June 15, 2011.

Right: A model presents a creation from Osklen’s Summer 2012 collection during Sao Paulo Fashion week in Sao Paulo June 15, 2011.

REUTERS photos by Paulo Whitaker

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What is this? Another ugly back. Are you planning to change the name of the most sought after business in … (wherever it is) to the Goofy Face Museum, Ugly Back Boutique and Doughnut Shop?

Welcome to Back Town, it’s just down the road from Whackytown and Snake Town.

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

By the way, what kind of repairs do you do to clothing with pliers? I could understand if she was wearing chain mail….

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive

Actually the bigger question, Dave, is what kind of clothing NEEDS repairs before it’s even made it out of the dressing room?

I mean, when I go shopping for a new suit and see that it comes with its own repair kit, I get suspicious immediately…

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive

Perhaps she moved from tie-dye clothes to tool and die clothes.

Posted by Onedoor | Report as abusive

hysteria, anorexia, melanoma, and megalomania all in these few photos. Well done, BG.

Make your dad proud…join the OE Blog Network!

Happy Father’s Day, guys 😛

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

I found a scantily clad water nymph by my ponds this morning. She had dirt and debris on her back and looked remarkably like Mrs. Doc. I walked down the flagstone path to drink coffee by the ponds, and there she was, stretching between the white pine and the red-twig dogwood. I could get to like dirty-back nymphs. I need to make a new batch of coffee.

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Now see here, folks. I won’t have you dissing my future mother-in-law. My Lamar’s mom is a fine (albeit short) figure of a woman who did right by her boy. She worked a long day at the sheet metal plant and then a nightshift as a seamstress, always denying herself the little luxuries, like dental work. All this to get Lamar into Harvard. It turned out that his brilliant mind and diverse talents were beyond the recognition of the admissions clerk, despite a personal visit from Ma with a jar of borscht and her son in tow. But she tried and I demand recognition for her.

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Lamar’s Mom should have said something. I could have pulled some strings. I have lots of connections at Harvard. And I’m sure Lamar would receive an educational benefit at Harvard.
http://www.tps.org/elementary-schools/ha rvard-elementary-school-184/view-details .html

Posted by DoctorDoll | Report as abusive

Skynet wasn’t so efficient in it’s early days was it? Took a lot of trial and error to craft the perfect

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive

@LadyLala – I wonder if Lamar’s mom was as pasionate about his education as Mrs. Gump was about her own son’s schooling…”You’re momma sure does care about your education, son.”

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive

@GeorgiaPeach: An astute comparison–both Mrs. Gump and Ma Lamar insisted on higher learning for their boys. Their tactics may have differed but I do know when Ma L handed that Harvard clerk the jar of borscht she winked and said there was more where that came from. Then she flashed her unforgettable smile (which sometimes worked against her…)

Posted by ladylala | Report as abusive

Lol, Lady, liking your future ma-in-law already… say, is that Cam’s sister?

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive

@DoctorDoll: Would you have used pliers to pull those strings?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive

Yeah, it must be a curse, keeping the limbs on those zomibe models.
Thanks for the insight, Blog Guy. Now we know how they do it, with pliers and heavy gauge wire.

Or is it a theme week? First Martinets, now Marionettes?
What next? Maisonette? Minionette?

Posted by Nosmo_King | Report as abusive

@Shra … no, not my sis. Sis likes to go to those spray tan booths and get a nice orange tint (versus the green tint on the model pictured).

Posted by justCAM | Report as abusive